MY FAVORITE THINGS

CAN YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOUR EX?

I came across this sentence on Twitter and it goes like this... the reason why ex-lovers remain friends is either because they’re still in love or they were never in love with each other in the first place. Is there a grain of truth in that?

There are breakups and divorces and if the circumstances are right, an ex wife can remain friends with the ex husband and the ex girlfriend can remain friends with the ex husband. With the ex married couple; they usually remain friends if the divorce was amicable. They could still be love with each other but are simply not compatible enough to live together and there are some couples- married or dating- are better off as friends than lovers anyway and manage to salvage their friendship after the marriage ends, not always though.

But there are marriages which end badly with a bitter divorce, maybe because of adultery, a flaw on the part of the husband or the wife or if it was an abusive relationship. If a woman ended things with an abusive, possessive boyfriend, she wouldn’t feel inclined to see him ever again; so friendship is out. With a cheating husband, the woman would most likely tolerate him if there are children involved.

But what about the case where the breakup isn’t mutual; where the party- especially the woman- is still in love with the ex? She could feel betrayed if the reason is because another woman and would be bitter about it. But would she be willing or capable of being merely friends with him?

There’s a friend of mine who had several boyfriends but there was a significant one whom she still regards as the love of her life. When she saw him again after they drifted apart, 15 years had gone by and she was devastated to see he was now married with four children. Devastated, because the moment she laid eyes on him, she knew she’d never stopped loving him. But being around him was very hard for her; all she could think about was what could’ve been and wishing it was. He was over friendly towards her but she was the opposite, she was distant; more melancholy than jealous. She was glad he was happy but also knew she couldn't be friends with him, the old feelings were still there and she couldn't pretend nor could she show them. For her, it was all or nothing and there was no way she would welcome an affair if it ever crossed his mind and it wouldn’t because he’s a committed family man. Friendship was out of the question, in her case.

Aside from the exceptional cases; where love but incompatibility was the cause and the decision to break up/divorce was mutual and amicable, I don’t think women can actually be friends with their ex-husbands or lovers. There’ll always be the stabs of bitterness, the sad moments when they reflect on “what might have been” or resentment for their successors and that is a usual scenario. Based on these reasons, it’s probably best if they simply remain as distant as possible or just learn to tolerate each other if they have no other choice, but not actual friendship.

THE (UN) SCREENING OF “HALF OF A YELLOW SUN”

Half of a Yellow Sun is Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s second book; after the successful Purple Hibiscus and I have a battered copy, bought back in 2007.

I admit, when I initially realised the subject matter, I wasn’t pleased. I’ve read about the Biafra war in Cyprian Ekwensi’s Survive the Peace, Festus Iyayi’s Heroes and a bit of it in Rosina Umelo’s Felicia; so what more about Biafra still needs to be told? But from the first page to the next one and to the next one enthralled me; the book was about life before and during the war and the story revolved around the strong willed fraternal twins- Olanna and Kainene; Olanna’s eventual husband Odenigbo, Kianene’s English boyfriend Richard and Olanna and Odenigbo‘s servant, Ugwu. The way Ms. Adichie told the story was as if she was right there at the time (Adichie was born 1977) and it was obviously a work of meticulous research and her own creativity. Despite the sober tone of the story, I honestly enjoyed it. Adichie was bold and unrestrained and really gave it all she could.

So when I heard there was going to be a movie adaptation, I was thrilled and I was able to view the trailer on YouTube; vowing to save up and watch it at the E- Centre; the nearest cinema where I live. British Nigerian actor Chiwetel Ejiofor was cast as Odenigbo. Ejiofor recently made us proud for his recent portrayal of Solomon Northup in Twelve Years A Slave for which he was nominated for the Best Actor Oscar (which went to Matthew McConaughhey for Dallas Buyers’ Club instead) and earned him a BAFTA award. Olanna is played by English actress Thandie Newton, Anika Noni Rose is Kainene, English actor Joseph Mawle (currently in Game of Thrones) is Richard Churchill, veteran singer and actress Onyeka Owenu is Odenegbo’s mother, Zack Orji is Chief Ozobia; the twins’ father and Genevieve Nnaji as Odenegbo’s Yoruba colleague- Miss Adebayo; Tina Mba as the twins' mum and Gloria Young as their aunt.

But then I started hearing reports here and there about its première here being cancelled and then the rumours started; that the Federal Government banned its screening! I was like... what the f***?

However, the reports say the movie was actually banned by the Nigerian Films and Censors Board. Probably because of the sex scenes, I initially thought. Long before the adaptation, Ms. Adichie got some criticism about the rather graphic sex scenes in the book, very ironic since there was a lot of that in Cyprian Ekwensi’s Jagua Nana & Jagua Nana’s Daughter and that was a very long time ago. And many Nigerian women read Harlequin and Mills & Boon. Seriously, are we that straitlaced in this country?

But it may be another reason entirely. Professor Chinua Achebe’s last book before he died was There Was A Country and it caused quite the controversy here as it apparently brought a lot of bad memories best left forgotten. Before the war started, there were the terrible riots between the Igbos and the Hausas. To put it bluntly, many people were slaughtered; even children. This was graphically described in Half of a Yellow Sun. Reading it is one thing but having to watch the tribal riots’ re-enactment was apparently a cause of worry and concern; it would no doubt upset the viewers and in a country where the political atmosphere is already tense, there would probably nasty repercussions- especially with the Boko Haram issue yet to be resolved. Hence, for that to be avoided it looks like we won’t see Half Of A Yellow Sun... at least for a while.

No country exactly has a savoury history... that we know. The USA with its slavery/ segregation era, the assassination of some of their presidents, the time when black men would be lynched without trial (the basis for Billie Holiday’s song, Strange Fruit ), Italy, when scientists were shouted down, the Inquisition in Spain, apartheid in South Africa, the Holocaust in Germany etc and there’s been movies about these past events. In Nigeria, it seems we simply want to shrink away from the past... our core historical past.
In Primary School there’s the subject Social Studies, where the pupils are taught states and capitals, what the symbols in the arms of government mean, about Jaja of Opobo and how Mary Slessor ended the killing of twins. But History is absent in the secondary school curriculum... why? Surely, when one wants to know where he’s going, he must know where you’ve been... that’s the aim of History. But since History isn’t taught in secondary schools anymore because it’s considered a touchy subject, perhaps that’s the same reason why Half of a Yellow Sun is not to be screened, this is a visually re-enacted piece of history; the main characters are fictional but the war and the riots aren't.

I’m not pleased Half of a Yellow Sun’s movie adaptation is getting this treatment from the Censors Board. But considering the problems we’re still tackling right now... it wouldn't for things to escalate more, like tribal fights. But this is 2014. Can’t they at least give Nigerians the benefit of the doubt... that nothing horrible would happen after it’s released, after all the book itself is still selling away well in the bookshops. Do the Actors’ Guild agree with this ban or will they stage a protest?

Maybe, maybe not.

#BRINGBACKOURGIRLS STILL WAITING

Over a month since their abduction, the clock is ticking - every hour puts them more at risk #BringBackOurGirls pic.twitter.com/4gRgpjL1wn
— UNICEF (@UNICEF) May 15, 2014

Next week Tuesday is Children's Day. And the kidnapped Chibok School girls are still out there; at the hands of their captors, no doubt praying for when they'll be able to go home to their families. The protests and prayers in Nigeria and many countries in the world go on as we wait for our girls to be rescued. If there's going to be rallies by school children to commemorate Children' Day they should be rallies held in solidarity at this worrying time.If only the group knows just how much pain and suffering they are inflicting; to the families as well as the girls. If they have any humanity and a real fear of God, they would let those poor girls go.

They are out there, still waiting. And we continue to pray and advocate for their safe return; as well as the end of terrorism all together.

TELENOVELAS' HUNKIEST ACTORS

I think more viewers are drawn to telenovelas because of the unbelievably handsome leading men and supporting actors (as well as the beautiful leading ladies) far more than the story itself! And can they help it? Absolutely not, it only makes the story lines even more appealing!

Here we go...

William Levy
(Oh... be still my beating heart!!!) The 33 year old Cuban actor came to our screens via the fourth version of Tu O Nadie (No One But You), Sortilegio (Love Spell) as Alejandro 'Alex' Lomardo; thus making him the 'fourth Antonio'. He has starred in other telenovelas including Cuidado con el Angel (Don't Mess With An Angel), his current telenovela being La Tempestad.

Sergio Basanez

currently 'the favorite one' (at least I think so) after he starred in Cuando Seas Mia and Catalina y Sebastian with his beautiful co-star, Silvia Navarro. He has starred in two more telenovelas with Silvia; La Calle de las Novias (Street of Brides) and La Heredera (The Heiress). Aside from acting, he also practices Law.

Rogelio Guerra: The now 78 year old actor is best known as Luis Alberto in The Rich Also Cry; starring along with Veronica Castro.

Andres Garcia

The veteran Dominican born actor was introduced to Nigerian screens via Tu O Nadie(No One But You), which he starred along with Lucia Mendez. Several years later, we saw him again in Cuerpo Del Deseo(Second Chance) as Don Pedro Jose Donoso whose soul is transferred into the body of a young farmer.

At 72, he still turns heads and very much the ladies' man!

Guilhereme Fontes

The 48 year old Brazilian actor played Marcus in Mulheres de Areia (Secrets of the Sands; Sand Women), starring with Gloria Pires. He has also done stage plays and is a director.

Guillermo Perez

The 43 year old played Lorenzo in La Mujer De Lorenzo (Lorenzo's Wife), with Adriana Louvier. He has starred in other telenovelas including Luisa Fernanda with Scarlet Ortiz( whose real life husband played Lorenzo's rival for Silvia's affections in La Mujer de Lorenzo).

Carlos Torres

was in La Hija De Jardinero (The Gardener's Daughter) with Mariana Ochoa as Carlos Eduardo; Luisa Fernanda's love interest/stepbrother.

Fernando Colunga

He played Jose Armando in Esmeralda, Carlos Daniel in La Usurpadora( The Usurper) and Luis Fernando in the remake of The Rich also Cry- Maria la del Barrio (Maria of the Slums, Humble Maria or Maria of the Borough).
He has other telenovelas to his credit.

Mario Cimarro

The Cuban American actor played Antonio Rodolfo in La Mujer de mi Vida (The Woman of My Life; a man who fell in love with his sister-in-law( played by his now ex wife Natalia Streignard), a small role in La Usurpadora and the lead role in Cuerpo Del Deseo(Second Chance) as the resurrected/possessed farmer, Salvador.

Sebastian Rulli

This Mexican actor starred with Angelique Boyer in Lo que la vida me robo (What Life Took From Me) and has featured in other telenovelas.

VITALII SEDIUK: PRANKSTER OR FREAKAZOID?

After checking my mail; I went to the Yahoo! page to see the latest news.There was nothing of much interest so I was about to move on when I spotted a bit of news about an incident that happened at the recent Cannes Festival. America Ferrerra, who played Betty in the dramedy Ugly Betty was posing for a group photograph when she suddenly felt something move up her full skirt and it turned out to a man crawling under her dress! I suddenly had a thought, "Please tell me it's not that freak again". However it was "that freak" again, Vitalii Sediuk- that crazy Ukrainian T.V presenter, red-carpet prankster and an original pain in the ass who just doesn't seem to see his antics are less than funny. Of course the security men got hold of him and dragged him out of the place; leaving Ms. Ferrerra pretty much embarrassed.
He's been nothing but a pest with celebrities. Once he sent Madonna flowers she's not fond off, hydrangeas. She thought he simply didn't know she disliked them.

In 2012, when Will Smith was in Moscow to promote Men In Black III; that freakazoid kissed him and got a much deserved slap from the actor. Another incident involving him was in January this year was when he hugged Bradley Cooper's legs, sticking his face on the actor's crotch during the SAG awards but luckily for him, Cooper just laughed it off and his friends got Vitalii off him. And he did the same thing to Leonardo Di Caprio as well!
People are yet to forget what he did during last year's Grammys. Not only did he go the event (uninvited and without proper credentials), he actually walked up to the stage after Jennifer Lopez and Pitbull called out the Best Solo Artist

award recipient, Adele. Before poor Adele could say anything, the crazy man said, 'it's such an honor to receive this award; I love you Adele.'
Jennifer managed to pulled herself together enough to wave him off the stage, which he did and spent a night in jail for that stupid stunt and got a warning.

You would think he would cease with the red carpet pranks but no; he attempted to get into the Oscars- wearing a Bjork swan dress and holding a bag of fake Oscars. But this time the security detail was ready for him and he wasn't allowed in.

Okay, just what is with this guy? I'm aware of Freedom of the Press (which pretty much allows paparazzi to get away with what they do, including invasion of privacy) but this is taking things much too face. What he did at Cannes was more than a prank, I call it a sex offence and he should be seriously dealt with. It's not enough his credentials should be revoked or given a warning; he should be charged for trespassing and sexual harassment. If I were in Ms. Ferrerra's shoes I would have given that freakazoid a well aimed and deserved kick! What is he trying to gain here; complete a list of 'CELEBRITIES TO PRANK' or just have the reputation of the 'No 1. Celebrity Prankster?' I think he's just plain weird, annoying and a real nuisance and his antics should not be encouraged at all. For all we know, he's a budding psychopathic stalker and the authorities should make sure he's banned from all celebrity events and charged if he dares trespass again!

BEACON HILL: THE SERIES- WHAT WILL BE REVEALED IN SEASON 2?

While we waited for Venice: The Series' Season 5; Crystal Chappelle entertained her fans with her current venture, Beacon Hill: The Series; this time set in the world of politics which makes it rather different from her previous web shows; Venice The Series, The Inn and The Grove (which a lot of people hope to see more of soon).

Beacon Hill's first season recently ended with a cliff hanger, with Claire Preston (Crystal Chappelle) receiving an unseen visitor and was clearly shocked by whoever it was. Aside from the story line of the two main characters, Claire's daughter Sara (All My Children's Alicia Minshew) and Katherine Wesley (Sarah Joy Brown; General Hospital, As The World Turns, The Bold & The Beautiful, Days of Our Lives) a rising and clearly committed politician; there's obviously a lot of secrets that will be unveiled in Season 2. For example, the viewers will no doubt discover the following:

1. Who the mysterious visitor at the door is,
2. The reason behind Claire's drinking
2. Who she hired that private investigator to look for
4. Whether or not if Katherine will accept the vacated Senatorial seat
5. Why there's so much anxiety for Katherine to accept or not accept
6. What's going to happen now that Diane has come looking for Sara
7. What's going on behind Sara's brother Eric's calm demeanour; he appears solicitous but in soaps sometimes solicitous is suspicious
8. What happened to Sara and Eric's father, because he was not shown or mentioned

In the meantime, Beacon Hill gave a good impression. Good plot and good acting from the ensemble cast of soap opera veterans; including Louise Sorel (Vivian Alamain in Days Of Our Lives), Tina Sloan (Another World, Guiding Light, Search For Tomorrow), Ron Raines (Alan Spaulding in Guiding Light) and Scott Bryce (As The World Turns, One Life To Live). For new viewers... no, you can't watch it free; you have to buy a subscription; click on the Beacon Hill link above to know more about payment and viewing.

The story's just started!