Chapter 18
‘Just
when it looks like she’s about to remember something, her mind goes blank
again.’ Bo told Marlena via Skype. ‘And she once had a dream of Larry beating
her, another time a memory of him came to her like some sort of premonition. I thought she might remember the
night I gave her that Sno’ Ball, but she didn’t.’
‘How
did she react to it?’ Marlena asked.
‘She
kept staring at it and I assumed it might trigger something but it didn’t.’
‘Has
she been having other dreams?’
‘Other
than the one she told me about, I don’t know. But I was pretty sure she would at
least remember the Sno’ Ball; she had a strange look on her face.’
‘Hmmm…
she probably had a familiar feeling about it, not exactly a memory.’ Marlena said, going over everything Bo told her,
including Clarice displaying her medical skills while tending to the woman
she’d rescued. ‘To her, it’s just déjà vu; that feeling of experiencing
something in the past even though it’s a first time. From what you told me, she
suffered serious injuries to her head and the implanted memories her doctors
carried out only made things worse. Her memories may only come to her mostly in
dreams, but it’s going to take a long time before she really gets her memory
back.’
‘You
think she might have had other ones besides the one she told me about? Why
wouldn’t she tell me about them?’
‘Because
they’re probably too foggy for her to put a face on them just yet. If she saw you in her dreams, it’s definitely not something she would keep to herself.’
‘I
guess not.’ Bo frowned. He faced John, who was beside Marlena. ‘What do you
think?’
‘I
have to agree with Doc here,’ John replied. ‘For years, I thought I was Roman and you all know how it nearly drove me
insane trying to remember my past and along the way, I encountered more lies
than the truth. It’s definitely going to take a while before she remembers
anything. But if you want my personal opinion, I think you and Frankie and
maybe Caroline should sit her down and tell her the truth.’
‘Absolutely
not.’ Bo objected.
Marlena
agreed. ‘Of course not, not yet anyway. You will tell her eventually, but
that’s when her dreams- if she’s been having them- become clearer. Just do your
best with her, be patient and encourage her to confide in you if you sense
something wrong. But also be prepared for the time she will start asking questions. Put together a photo album of any old
photos you still got left or anything else from her past with you. Frankie’s
still keeping in touch to check on her?’
‘Yes.’
‘That’s
great because he’ll have to be there when the time comes. It could be anytime
so you have to be prepared.’
‘Right.’
Bo turned his head as he heard a car door slam. ‘I’ll let you know of new
developments.’
‘Fine,
give our love to everyone.’
‘Take
great care of her, Bo; I don’t have to tell you that, anyway.’ John added.
‘No
you don’t.’ Bo smiled faintly, before signing off and closing the lid of his
laptop. He could now hear the click of Clarice’s heels as she walked up to the
house and went to the door to open the door for her. ‘Hi, beautiful.’ Taking
her hand, he drew her inside. In the middle of their picnic, she’d received a
call from Salem’s ISA director.
‘Hi,
I’m so sorry I had to leave like that.’ Clarice pressed her lips against Bo’s,
stroking his cheek before sinking on the couch, peering at the display of
treats on the table. ‘Oh wine… cheese and strawberries!’ Picking up one, she kicked
off her shoes and Bo lifted her legs to place them on his lap. ‘It wasn’t word
from New York about going on a mission, was it?’ he asked as he began massaging
her feet.
Clarice’s
silence made him look up sharply. Her expression was solemn as she nodded her
head. Bo stared at her in dismay. ‘But this wasn’t what we agreed on with your
superiors.’
‘We
both knew there was a chance I would get called in anyway. And I can’t ignore
this, Bo; it’s my job after all.’
Bo
abruptly got up from the couch, anger and anxiety consuming him. The main
reason why it arranged for her to be on loan in the first place was to keep her
under his eye and help her get her memory back. He’s gotten so used to having
her around that the sudden news was a sharp reality check, she was an ISA agent
risking her life on missions. She believed herself to be Clarice Parker but she
was Carly Manning M.D; the woman he wasn’t able to protect from the Alamains.
Barely a day after she arrived in Salem, she got shot in his own house, the
moment she was out of his sight. His fear of something happening to her was
justified that day, despite Roman’s reassurances. She was
a trained agent true enough but she was under his protection. Suppose something happened to her again?
Clarice
stared at him, very puzzled at her boyfriend’s attitude. It was understandable
he would worry about her but she had a feeling it was more than that. Getting
up, she walked up to him. ‘Hey… don’t be like this.’ She said, slipping her
arms round his waist from behind. Bo turned to face her and she was shocked to
see his face so raw with emotion. ‘Don’t go.’
‘What?’
‘You
heard me; I don’t want you to go. Talk to them, let them find some other agent…
the ISA’s swarming with them anyway.’ Bo knew exactly how he was sounding but
couldn’t help it, he couldn’t let her out his sight again. Anything could
happen to her out there without him knowing. She could get captured, or shot… or run into Lawrence.
‘I’ve
been doing this long before I ever met
you. I can look after myself, you know.’ Clarice reminded him.
‘It
doesn’t mean I can’t worry about the
woman I love!’ Bo said harshly, wishing he could carry out John’s advice right
there and then. ‘I worry about the people that I love and care about, that’s who I am, princess.’
‘I
know that!’ Clarice exclaimed. ‘But
I’ve been on several missions; I’m always careful and focused…’
‘It’s
about you, not casting doubts on your
capabilities; don’t you see?’
Clarice
sighed, shaking her head in exasperation. ‘Bo, even if I wasn’t ISA, I still
wouldn’t expect you to hold my hand every minute. I love you but you have to
understand who I am too. I know you’re worried about me, but you can’t let fear
keep me chained to you every second. After all, I’ve been on the field with you
and Roman all this time. And I’m sure you never wrapped Hope in cotton wool either,
even if you were always worried about her safety.’ Her words were mildly
reproachful but it struck a nerve. Years ago, she accused him of treating her
like a helpless damsel in distress and she was angry at the time. I'm not going to cower in the shadows while
you play the detective; I *don’t* need a man to run things for her! How can he make her understand the danger she
was in without rousing her suspicions?
He
took hold of her hands. ‘I’m sorry if I’m being overprotective and weird but
after you got shot, right here, I felt responsible for you and I promised
myself after you began working for us that I’ll never let anything happen to
you. After we fell in love, it became more than that, I got scared of anything happening to you.’
Clarice
was touched. ‘Oh… honey,’ she whispered, touching his face. ‘Nothing’s going to
happen to me, nothing. I’ll be safe
and back in your arms before you know it.’ She pulled his head down and he
kissed her fiercely, arms locked round her protectively.
‘Come,’
she said, when the kiss ended. ‘Let’s enjoy the rest of our evening.’
‘Okay,’
he said quietly, hiding his inner distress, frantically wondering how on earth
he could stop her from going and finding no answer.
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Victor
looked up at the knock on his study door. ‘Come in.’
Hope
entered, closing the door behind her. ‘We need to talk.’
‘Good…
because I’ve been wanting to talk to you too.’
‘Hold
it,’ Hope raised a hand before Victor could continue, ‘If it’s about Clarice, I
don’t want to talk about her with you. I’ve heard enough about her already.’
Aside from what Bo told her, Justin had included some more info which
reinforced her opinion that Bo would’ve found it too painful to talk about
Carly. And much as she was still very sore about the present situation, she was
going to keep her promise to Bo about not letting Victor influence her or let
him know Clarice was ISA. So far, he still thought she was FBI and Hope wasn’t going
to endanger her for anything. Victor was a career criminal and now that she
knew his history with Clarice, he might throw her to the wrongs hands out of sheer
spite. ‘I just wanted to let you know that Ciara and I will be moving out day
after tomorrow. We’re moving in with Aunt Maggie.’ Very lonely since Mickey’s
death, Maggie was more than eager to have Hope and Ciara live with her.
‘I
still don’t understand why you let Bo have the house. You do realize he’ll be
meeting that woman there?’
Bo was right, Hope thought,
feeling a wave of anger and disgust towards Victor. The reason she let Bo have
in the house in the divorce- in spite of his protests- was because of Ciara’s
recurring nightmares of Dean attacking them in their own home and shooting
Clarice right in front of her. ‘I told you, I don’t want to discuss Clarice with you.’
‘Believe
it or not, I’m only trying to be supportive; like I’ve been since the night you
moved in.’ Victor snapped. ‘I just don’t understand you, the way you paved the
way for that whore, letting her steal your husband from right under your nose. If
you had more sense, you would’ve taken my advice as well as everybody else’s
instead of wrapping yourself with hurt pride.’
Victor’s
sanctimonious airs and harsh words stung Hope so much that she couldn’t resist
replying angrily, ‘Wasn’t it your own hurt
pride that made you decide to do all you could to destroy Bo’s life and
then setting him up to be killed? You were willing to deprive my son of his
father! Bo told me everything and I mean everything,
so how dare you lecture me about hurt
pride!’
‘It
was a moment of insanity; I didn’t know what I was doing at the time,’ was
Victor’s angry mutter. ‘And it’s water under the bridge, Bo shouldn’t have told
you about that.’
‘Right,
just like he shouldn’t have told me how you ordered your animals to set fire on
our boat,’ Hope went on relentlessly, ‘and then faking your death to frame an
innocent woman!’
‘She
deserved it!’ Victor snarled, losing
his temper completely. ‘Bo treated her like garbage and I did all I could to
make her forget him and move on but what did she do? She betrayed me and went
back to him the moment he snapped his fingers! She should’ve just died in that damned elevator shaft that
night! At least Bo wouldn’t have had to watch her abandon him and Shawn Douglas
for Lawrence Alamain… the man she never really got over, no matter the lies she
told him! She’s a snake in the green grass and obviously Lawrence realized that
later!’
‘No woman
deserves to be abused, Victor!’ Hope hurled back, shocked by Victor’s words. ‘And I don’t want to discuss Bo or Clarice
with you anymore! Wrap yourself in your hate, I don’t care. Ciara and I will be
leaving day after tomorrow and right now, I can’t wait to get away from you.’
‘Go
to the devil for all I care,’ Victor snarled at her. ‘You brought this whole
mess on yourself so you might as well indulge in your self-pity elsewhere!’
Hope
slammed the door after her, her hands shaking. There was sheer malevolence in
Victor’s eyes when he spoke about Clarice; his words laced with more hatred
than anger. The woman was his sworn enemy, no doubt about it. He might even
tell Lawrence Alamain she was still alive. No,
surely he wouldn’t dare go that far, she thought, he wouldn’t deliberately endanger Bo… even after what he did years ago.
But still, Bo needs to watch his back. I have to talk to him about it. She
glanced at her watch. 9:40 p.m. Bo was probably with her right now. She sighed,
feeling a stabbing ache in her chest again but it didn’t weaken her resolve to
warn Bo about Victor. There was no point talking to Clarice about it; she had
no memory of her marriage to Victor, besides the fact she wasn’t ready to face
her just yet.
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Bo
and Clarice made their way through the treats and half the bottle of wine,
Clarice refusing another refill when he offered her some. She lay back against
the cushions as he resumed massaging her feet. She sensed he was still upset
about her assignment; all through their conversation on various topics he was
subdued, hardly cracking a smile. She understood he was worried about her but
she hated what that fear was doing to him. He’s been in law enforcement for a
very long time and has liaised with the ISA from time to time; surely he knew
what the agents had to face and risk during their missions. The fact she was
his lover shouldn’t make her that different from the other agents to want to
shield her every minute. ‘Hey,’ she said, leaning over to rub the back of his
neck, making him look up. He smiled faintly, reading the concern on her face.
‘I’m sorry, princess. I guess I wasn’t able to hide how I feel about you going
away.’
‘You
have nothing to apologize for.’
‘It’s
just so hard for me to relax, knowing you’re going out there and wondering if
you’ll be safe.’
Clarice
moved her legs off his lap and moved closer to him. ‘Well, why don’t I… relax you, right now.’ she whispered
before lowering her mouth on his. Bo’s arms immediately went round her, kissing
her back passionately.Clarice’s hand moved down to the front of his jeans,
stroking him gently. Bo abruptly ended the kiss; his eyes not leaving her face as he tugged his
shirt off and stopped her from taking off her top herself by doing it for her; before
lowering her on the couch. Clarice arched her back as his warm lips moved from
her mouth to the side of her neck, down her breasts to her stomach; unzipped
her jeans and tugged them down, off her legs and tossed them aside. Moving over
her, he reclaimed her mouth, hungry fingers moving over her soft skin.
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After
making love on the couch, they took it upstairs and make love again on the big
double bed; the first time they’ve ever done it there. Their impending
temporary separation further intensified their lovemaking until they lay
against each other, spent and panting. Bo cradled her in his arms until she
fell asleep. When he was sure she was sleeping soundly, he gently slipped out
of bed, pulled on a robe and went downstairs. Finding his cell in his discarded
jeans, he dialed Abe’s number. ‘Something wrong?’ Abe asked after the quick
exchange of greetings.
‘Oh,
there’s something wrong, really
wrong.’
Abe
listened in silence as Bo explained. ‘What the hell do we do?’ he demanded.
‘Other
than telling Shaw and the Director in New York the whole truth about her, what can we do? How will we begin to even
explain it to them, Bo? If we tell them anything, they’ll insist Clarice be
told too and she’s definitely not ready for that.’
‘No,
she’s not.’ Bo ran a hand over his tousled hair in frustration.
‘We
just have to risk letting her go, Bo; I don’t see how we can prevent it.’ Abe
said soberly. ‘Where is she going anyway?’
‘Russia.’
‘It’s
not exactly a tourist spot; the odds she might run into Alamain are very slim. And
if you’re still worried about her coming back safe, remember she’s trained and
skilled. I understand your worry and I share it but we just have to risk it.
Or… I can call Shane to have one of the
agency’s contacts out there to keep an eye on her, discreetly of course. She
won’t have to know about it and will keep our minds at rest.’
Bo
knew his mind wouldn’t be at rest, even with Abe’s suggestion. All the same, it
would have to do. ‘Fine, arrange it with Shane and have him call me.’
‘Will
do.’
‘Honey?’
Clarice said just as Bo hung up. He spun round to find her on the landing
wearing one of his shirts; several sizes too big for her. She looked at him,
her face flushed from sleep. ‘Who were you talking to?’
‘Abe.
I didn’t want to wake you so I took it down here. Did I wake you?’ he asked,
going to her.
Clarice
smiled lazily, arms moving up to encircle his neck. ‘Not really,’ she replied
as his arms went round her waist. ‘The bed just suddenly felt big and empty
without you.’ Bo lowered his head to kiss her lingeringly and she clung to him.
‘Mmm… I love you.’ She nuzzled his neck.
‘I
love you too, princess.’ Bo whispered fervently, hugging her close; hoping and
praying she’ll come back to him in one piece, without any shadows following
her.
