CARBO FAN FICTION- CARLY'S DIARY PART 8






PART 8

When the void lifted, Melanie saw several girls milling around in school uniform, books under their arms. A fancy all girls school, she noted, seeing the imposing gray building with four towers. Two girls came down the stairs, bags over their shoulders. Melanie basked in the sight of a teenage Carly, her hair pulled back in a pony tail, accompanied by...‘Jennifer!’ she exclaimed, immediately recognising the blonde girl.

CARBO FAN FICTION- CARLY'S DIARY PART 7



Part 7
Nicholas and Abby had to use their combined strength to keep Melanie away from the room in ICU where Daniel, Karen Long and some nurses were doing their best to save Carly.
‘Don’t let her die, please God, don’t let her die!’ Melanie wept loudly, trying to wrestle herself away from the hands holding her firmly.
Jennifer was staring at the glass window, her hand on her throat; frozen with fear for Carly.
Frankie and Molly came hurrying up; Frankie white faced. ‘The head nurse told us Carly was brought up here... something about a Code Blue?’
‘I was there with her...’ Jennifer turned to them, tears flowing. ‘all of a sudden she went into cardiac arrest.’
‘Christ...’ Frankie turned to help calm his niece while Abby let go of her to go up to her mother.
‘If she dies...’
‘She won’t, Mum.’
 ‘I’ll never be able to tell her how sorry I am...’
‘She’s going to make it.’ Molly said, her manner towards Jennifer gentler and kinder than their last encounter, seeing how  genuinely upset she was, feeling certain Carly didn’t hold a grudge against her old school mate and   would willingly forgive her... when she came out of the coma.
Bo, where are you?  Carly’s life is hanging by a thread and you aren’t here! Damn you, you’re supposed to be here! Molly thought angrily, tears stinging her eyes as she and Abby tried to calm Jennifer down. Melanie  stopped struggling after stern  but well meaning words from Frankie but was still restless as she waited with her uncle and brother; Nicholas firmly holding her round the waist in case she wanted to dart into the room. She glanced at Abby and Molly through red eyes. Molly smiled reassuringly at her while Abby mouthed it’s going to be okay across to her. She looked at Nicholas. He looked tough but she saw the fear in his eyes. Her heart went out to him and Melanie, inwardly praying for Carly.
‘She’s stabilized now.’ Karen Long said when she finally came out with Daniel. ‘For a moment we thought we were going to lose her but Carly’s a real fighter.’
Frankie closed his eyes, his arms round Melanie as she sobbed quietly against his shoulder. Nicholas patted Molly’s hand resting on his arm and dabbed his teary eyes before asking quietly, ‘can we see her now?’
‘Sure, Nick.’ Daniel said sombrely, moving forward to hug Melanie tightly before she followed Nicholas and Molly. Frankie refused to make eye contact with Jennifer, ignoring her when she said his name. Jennifer sniffled, turning to Daniel who took her in his arms, pressing a kiss on her forehead, Abby rubbed her back. ‘It’s going to be okay, Mum. Stop crying... Carly’s going to wake up before we know it and you guys will be friends again. Please believe that,’ she pleaded. ‘She will get through this and you both will get past what happened.’
‘Honey, come on now,’ Daniel soothed her. ‘It’s going to be all right.’
Jennifer raised and nodded numbly, watching Carly’s family and Molly around her bed through the door’s window.
:::
‘Hope, since the kidnapping I’ve been trying to figure out what’s going on in your head!’
‘You need that don’t you; you need that kind of harmony; just like what you have with Carly right now.’ That’s what really bugged her. It wasn’t just a physical affair... like he was trying to get back at her. This was a woman from his past, a woman he never told her about! Bo was clearly enjoying being with a woman who was probably more submissive... his perfect princess Carly. 
Bo’s brown eyes were angry. ‘So, I’m supposed to feel guilty about that? Because you couldn’t live with the status quo, I’m supposed to what... live alone for the rest of my life?’
‘How about a month?’ she shouted, stung by his words even though she knew she had no right to ask him such a question. She was the one who left, who spoke of divorce.  
‘I did try a month!’ he shouted back.
‘Oh please...!’ she scoffed.
‘And I tried to figure out what the hell was going on with you, what the hell you wanted!’
Okay... she left their house with Ciara... said some things out of anger; gave broad hints about a permanent separation. But she returned that night! She returned and found another woman asleep on their bed!

What right did she have to toy with Bo’s emotions... leaving him with the intent of divorce but immediately changing her mind, like she felt he was punished enough, punished for what? How could she have thought Bo loved her too much keep tolerating such behaviour just like before... when she left their home to be alone after Kayla’s shooting. He’d wanted them to go somewhere to heal, she chose differently and shut him out, to his frustration. What did Carly do except succumb to her love when Bo went to her for comfort? Bo was blameless, she’d known that the whole time and admitted it but insisted on blaming Carly.

‘We have a 25 year history together and my family’s become his family and they are very important to him. Now there could’ve been about 11 Hortons who could’ve come round the corner just now, who aren’t thrilled with him these days. How do you think that could’ve been played out, huh?’
Carly stared back, green eyes impassive.
‘He doesn’t want to lose them, Carly. But just think, about what you’re doing.’
‘Do you see this as condescension to him?’ Carly said at last.
‘What I see this you want this to play out as a great love story and it’s not. You say that you love Bo? Then maybe you should start thinking about what you’re doing to his life.’

Hope sighed, staring at a photo of Bo and herself, standing on either side of Alice.
She was the one who packed her belongings and left their house with their daughter. She’d thrown the fact that she had the Hortons and Bradys, both families who were once Carly’s friends, in the woman’s face. Yet in the end Bo was able to  forgive her and they’d moved on, refusing to think of the woman they both wronged... ignored her existence. How ironic the guilt she refused to succumb for so long was now out in the open; during Bo’s absence. She wasn’t vindictive but she’d been more than glad to have Bo back and their unspoken agreement not to discuss Carly after he admitted his time with her had been a mistake. But now, it was pretty much a hollow victory. It was discovered later she and Bo weren’t legally married. He left town to put an end to Stefano DiMera’s empire for good and she had to endure months without him.
God... what am I saying? What about Carly? She was the one who had to watch them all happy after being left in the cold- no doubt hating them both- she was the one who was lying in a coma at the hospital! Was there any wonder Jennifer and Roman and probably other members of the family now felt guilty? Was there a reason for her to feel resentful Bo has another child? Hope shook her head, still staring at the photos, knowing the answers to her questions.
Now she had Aiden,  or will have him if she truly wanted him. And to be honest... she really wanted him in her life.
‘Mummy, is something wrong?’
She turned to see Ciara standing behind her. Watching her daughter, Hope couldn’t help but think how she and Zach probably wouldn’t have been born at all if Carly was the one with Bo when she’d returned to Salem years ago. ‘Nothing’s wrong sweetie.’
‘But you’re crying.’
Hope blinked, her hand moving up to her wet eyes. ‘I’m fine... really.’ She assured her. Staring at Ciara, she knew what she had to do. It was time.
‘Come sit,’ she took the girl’s hand,  drawing her to the couch and sat next to her. ‘There’s something I need to tell you.’
‘About Daddy?’ Ciara asked hopefully.
‘No, not about Daddy.’ Hope paused, quickly working out the best way to tell Ciara this piece of news.
She stifled an impatient curse when the doorbell rang and up to answer it.
Ciara rushed up to Maggie and Julie and was warmly hugged and kissed by both women.
‘We’re just from the hospital.’ Maggie said after Hope sent Ciara upstairs.
‘Oh.’ Hope sat down. ‘How’s... how’s Carly?’
‘Melanie said she coded but her doctors were able to stabilise her; thank God.’ Maggie replied, her expression grave. ‘I’m just glad Melanie’s not alone at a time like this; Daniel, Brady, Frankie and Nicholas will do all they can for her.’
Hope was aware Carly and Lawrence have a son but she frowned at the mention of Frankie. ‘Frankie’s in town?’
Maggie nodded. ‘He’s not exactly pleased with us right now and to be honest, it would be best if you don’t run into him.’
Hope was baffled. ‘Why not?’
Julie and Maggie looked uncomfortable, Julie finally saying quietly, ‘Frankie is Carly’s brother.’
 ‘What?
‘It’s true, they were born   Katerina and François Von Leuschner; scions of a very powerful European family.'
‘I don’t understand... when Shawn and Caroline adopted Frankie his name was Donner!’ Hope couldn’t believe what she was hearing.
‘Frankie and Carly  ran away from their  parents- at different times- and changed their names.’ Julie explained further.
Hope closed her eyes, shaking her head. ‘Oh God.’
‘Yes. And he’s very angry; especially with you and Bo. He wants nothing to do with us at all.’
Frankie had shrank back when Maggie tried to hug him and looked through Julie as though she wasn’t there. Roman, who was present, was annoyed; telling Frankie not to let his anger go too far by refusing to give them a chance to make amends.
 ‘Did they care about my sister’s feelings at the time?’
‘Granted... Carly was mistreated and she didn't deserve it...’
‘But she was mistreated anyway,’ Frankie glowered. ‘All to protect her. Besides, Kayla already made it damn clear how you lot thought of Carly.’
‘Kayla doesn’t speak for all of us,’ Maggie had  corrected, wincing at the contemptuous use of you lot.
‘Whatever. But once she comes out of the coma, none of you will be able to hurt her again, because I’m going to convince her to get out this town. She can raise Starr in a whole new place and finally get some stability.’
‘Starr’s a Brady, Frankie. Mum will be crushed if she never gets to be with her.’ Roman said.
‘How convenient, given what she thought about her mother.’
‘Frankie, you really need to get past this; we’re sorry alright?’ Julie had pleaded.
Frankie’s face was scornful as he stared her down before turning back to Roman. ‘You know what’s funny, Roman? The whole time Carly told me everything, she actually made excuses for you all. She felt you were all still mad at her for leaving town with Alamain. She said Justin told her she deserved whatever Larry did to her. Is that what you all thought?’ he hurled at Maggie and Julie.
No!’ Maggie exclaimed, appalled.
‘Did you ask her? Did anyone of you care enough to ask her what happened to her all those years? I’ll tell you- after Lawrence took advantage of her amnesia and finally lured her back... he beat her, he raped her, threatening to kill me if she dared call me for help! She had to keep me away by pretending she didn't want to see me! He wrenched Melanie out of her arms and took her away. Did you ask her all this? No! You lot just believed she was out to get Bo away from Hope!  You believed she gladly gave her daughter away... don’t you touch me!’ he pulled his arm away from Julie’s touch, his eyes glinting with anger.
Melanie had been with Carly so she wasn't present but Molly was and had nothing to add, except a look of reproach.
‘I can imagine he is.’ Hope said after recovering from what she just heard. ‘What did he say about Bo and me?’
‘Honey... what does it matter?’
What did he say?’ Hope’s  tone was harsh.
Maggie and Julie looked more uncomfortable. ‘He said you and Bo caused Carly a lot of pain and if Bo tries to seek custody of Starr when he comes back, he’ll make a lot of trouble for him.’ Maggie said quietly. ‘I have a feeling Carly made Frankie Starr’s legal guardian in case anything happened to her.’
Hope said nothing. You and Bo caused Carly a lot of pain. Frankie’s anger was more than justified. And of course Carly wouldn’t want her daughter to be raised by her and Bo.
‘Hope, please...’ Julie said, seeing the broody look on her half sister’s face. ‘Don’t be hard on yourself.’
Hope raised her head. ‘What are you trying to say, that I have no reason to feel guilty?’
‘You don’t...’
‘No more pretence, Julie; enough. The three of us know the real truth. I treated Bo very badly but he forgave me and Carly was the one who really got hurt. And I was jealous of her because I finally realised what you all refused to tell me, what we wouldn’t admit... that he would’ve stayed with her when I came back. Carly was the one who really replaced me, not Billie and obviously the hurt of losing her to Alamain was too much that Bo couldn’t even talk about her. He never talked about her; none of you did. Yes, we caused her a lot of pain for something that wasn't her fault but mine. I doubt Bo would’ve gotten involved with her if things were fine between us when she came back. And it was Melanie she came to find in the first place, not him.’ Hope shrugged. ‘But then again... we’ll never know, will we?’
‘Well... we just hope that Carly will make it.’ Maggie said at last. ‘and as for Frankie, in time...’
‘He has the right to be angry, I would if it was my sister who went through what Carly did.’ Hope interrupted. ‘But... I don’t want Carly to deprive Bo of Starr either.’
‘I’m sure she won’t; Carly’s not vindictive.’ Maggie assured. ‘and since she helped raise Shawn D, I’m sure she wouldn’t object to you being around  Starr. She’s Shawn D and Ciara’s sister after all.’
‘Well, Starr will probably be more around Bo and Ciara and the rest of the family than me.’ Hope faced Julie and Maggie squarely. ‘I’ve found someone else. And I’m falling in love with him.’
:::::::::
Abby rubbed Nicholas’ shoulder consolingly as they sat on Carly’s couch and he  quietly talked about his relationship with Carly from the time he was told she was his mother; how at first he wanted nothing to do with her and then did his best to ruin her relationship with Bo and Shawn D. And how he wasn't there for her when Lawrence continuously abused her.
 ‘You are not like your father. I don’t believe for a minute you would ever hurt anyone.’
‘But I hurt my mother so much.’
‘Mel’s gone through this guilt trip already and she’s managed to forgive herself. Now you have to as well. Carly forgave you both a long time ago, didn't she? You two and Starr are very important to her. You made your mistakes but it wasn't you who abused her. Please Nicky, don’t beat yourself up like this.’ Abby pleaded, hating the miserable look on his face.
Nicholas nodded, dabbing at the corner of his eye. ‘I was so afraid she was going to die today.’
‘She’s going to make it, believe that.’
Nicholas nodded again, looking at Abby. ‘You’re a good friend.’ He smiled faintly. ‘And no one’s called me Nicky for a long time.’
‘I’m sorry...’
‘No, that’s okay; I don’t mind.’ He was suddenly aware of Abby Deveraux. She was a pretty girl, beautiful actually; her upturned face looking at him with compassion and warmth, a hint of shyness in her eyes. Unexpectedly his heart began to race and giving in to impulse, he leaned forward and kissed her on the mouth. Abby’s arms went round him and she kissed him back so eagerly that he pulled her in his arms and kissed her again and again with mounting passion; desire for her running through his body. Eventually they pulled apart, stunned as they stared at each other.
‘What just happened?’ Nicholas asked, trying to catch his breath.
Abby touched his sensual, trembling mouth; her heart beating fast. He’s finally noticed me... finally. ‘I...’ she stopped, not sure of what to say.
‘We’ve just met.’
‘I know, it’s crazy.’
‘But...’ Nicholas touched her warm cheek, his hand moving up to stroke her hair. ‘It’s almost .... like I’ve been searching for you my whole life. I feel so connected to you.’
Abby smiled. ‘I’ve felt the same about you since Carly introduced us. I was so sure you would never notice me.’
Nicholas kissed her again. ‘Silly girl.’
‘You’re one of the world’s eligible bachelors. You could have your pick of any society or royal chick.’
‘Spoilt debutantes.’ Nicholas said, a touch of arrogance in his voice as he put his arm round Abby, pulling her closer. ‘none of them are you.’
‘That’s so sweet,’ Abby whispered.
‘Now that we’ve found each other,’ Nicholas went on, tracing an eyebrow with his finger, ‘we’re going to take it one step at a time.’
:::::::::::::::::
‘I saw the look in his eyes; I didn’t even have to say out loud things have changed. They reconciled on the run just like I knew they would and why wouldn’t they? They have 25 years and three kids together; she’s his true soul mate. How could he expect me to still go home with him when it was more than obvious what’s happened? He said he loved me but it wasn't the same as the woman he’s been with for so long; no matter what she did to him. And it wasn't like she was in her right mind at the time anyway. How could he abandon her now?
It took all my courage to touch that beloved face one last time, assuring him I’ll be alright. I thanked him for helping me find Melanie, even though my heart was breaking. Part of me hoped he loved me enough to beg me to stay, but the other part reminded me... he will always belong to Hope. Jennifer was right all along.
As I walked out, I was calm but I couldn’t help thinking... the best decision isn’t always made without involving some amount of pain.

How true that is, Melanie thought sadly, thinking about when she sent Nathan away. The words on the paper were blotched; her mother’s tears as she expressed her pain in her diary. She turned as a knock sounded on the door. ‘Come in,’ she said, wiping her eyes and sat up on her bed as the door opened.
Nicholas poked his head in. ‘Uncle Frankie’s taking us all out to dinner, including Abby. Coming?’
Melanie hesitated then shook her head.
‘Melanie, come on... you have to go out sometime.’
‘I’ll fix something for myself; I really don’t feel like going out.  You guys go on... I’ll be fine.’
Nicholas didn't look pleased. ‘Are you sure?’
‘Just go, okay?’
Nicholas shrugged. ‘See you later then.’ He closed the door.
Melanie looked at Carly’s diary still on her lap, imagining Carly’s pain. Then she thought of what she heard from Molly about Carly’s past with Bo. I’ve never seen two people more in love than Bo and your Mum were back then.
If only I could see them back then, Melanie thought. And understand why their story ended in the first place.
Frustrated, she closed the diary and got out of bed. Suddenly she got the feeling someone was in the room with her, the air felt different and she felt a chill down her back. She turned sharply, shrieking in surprise at the woman standing near the door. She shrank back. ‘Who are you? How... how did you get in here?’
 ‘Don’t be frightened.’ The woman said, smiling serenely at her.
Melanie blinked, but the figure in white was still there. A ghost, God... she was seeing a ghost! She frowned, her mind going back to a framed photograph in Brady’s loft. ‘Wait... I’ve seen you before. You’re Brady’s mum; Isabella.’
‘That’s right. I was almost your aunt. But I’m glad to see that you and my son have a brother and sister bond all the same. I left this world the night Abby came into it.’
‘Oh...’ Melanie forced herself to stop trembling. Isabella Black looked anything but terrifying. ‘What do you want from me?’ she asked timidly.
‘It more like I want to give you, Melanie. Answers. You’ve been reading Carly’s diaries and you’ve learnt more about her from it and from Molly and Roman. But there’s a lot more to learn, for you to understand. Call this Carly’s’ virtual diary.’
As she spoke, the room darkened and Melanie felt she was in an endless void. ‘What’s going on?’ she exclaimed.
‘We’re going to the past; your mother’s past.’
Melanie felt she was in the middle of some weird dream but felt some excitement as well. Carly’s past. What she’d wished for... she was about to see for herself.
The void cleared and Melanie blinked at the sun rays. She looked round in wonder. Where they were looked like an opulent country estate. ‘Where’s this place?’ she asked.
‘Carly and Frankie’s childhood home; where they were born to Henri and Francesca Von Leuschner. Come.’
The house they were approaching was large, almost like a castle. Inside, Melanie’s eyes grew even wider, speechless. Compared to the interior of Victor Kiriakis’ mansion, the whole place screamed old money and aristocracy; marble floors, tasteful antiques and valuable paintings on the walls.  This was where her mother and uncle grew up? Carly only mentioned in passing that  her parents were well off but she and Frankie didn't get along with them; the reason why they eventually ran away from home.
Isabella led Melanie into a large panelled room which Melanie immediately saw was a study. And a man was talking to a little girl who looked mutinous and tearful. Melanie moved closer to the child. Green eyes... hair lighter but she immediately saw the little girl was Carly. ‘Oh my.’ She said, chuckling. She turned to look at the man. Blue black eyes in a handsome but austere face; Carly and Frankie’s father.
‘You should see this as a real honour, Katerina.’
Katerina?  Carly was Katerina back then?
‘I don’t want to marry somebody I don’t know! How can you and mother do this to me?’
‘Leopold and Philomena Alamain have chosen you for their son. And you know what this means; an alliance between the Alamains and the Von Leuschners.’
‘Please Father; I don’t want to marry him!’ Carly’s voice was shrill. ‘I don’t want an arranged marriage... I don’t want to be betrothed!’
‘Silence!’ the man barked and Melanie shook her head, aghast. What was this, the 1800s? How can any father do this to his own daughter? Carly was just a child, from the look of her not yet ten.
‘It’s your duty, Katerina and you will do your duty.’
‘No!’
‘Katerina!’ Melanie turned as a woman entered the study. She had blonde hair worn in an elegant chignon, Carly’s green eyes and pearls round her neck, a perfect foil for the deep blue dress she was wearing.
‘This is... my grandmother?’ she whispered to Isabella even though no one in the room could see, hear or feel them. Isabella nodded.
The woman was beautiful but like her husband, there was no warmth on her face. ‘Don’t you realise what a privilege this is? The Alamains are royalty and as a Von Leuschner...’
‘I will not marry him! Never!’ Sobbing, Carly fled the room, running down the hall. Melanie hurried after her. Carly ran through open French windows into the garden, running to sit under a tree, burying her face in her hands. Melanie felt like crying too as she watched Carly sob.  Born in this beautiful, grand old place yet it wasn't much of a home; not with parents like Henri and Francesca. And she’d addressed them as Father and Mother instead of Daddy and Mummy.
A boy ran up to Carly. Frankie... Melanie thought, grinning in spite of herself. Back then Frankie was adorably handsome; white long sleeved shirt, black shorts, white socks and leather oxfords. Carly’s hair spotted a bow, small pearl studs in her ears and her yellow dress had a lace collar; white socks and matching shoes.  The formal dressing of children born in privilege; not every day kids who wore jeans, sneakers and colourful t shirts with cartoon characters on them. A totally different world from the Bradys.
Frankie put his arms round his sister, trying to console her.
‘François, what am I going to do?’
François. Melanie was no longer surprised. Katerina and François  obviously changed their names after they ran away from home. Max told her years ago he met Frankie while on the run from Trent and both boys were taken in by the Bradys. But what about Carly?
‘Don’t cry Katerina.’ little Frankie pleaded.
‘Father and Mother don’t care about us. They just want us to marry money! I’m only eight and they’ve chosen a husband for me already. How can they do this?’
‘It’s going to be okay. Please stop crying, Katerina. I’m here.’ Frankie held on to her, both children making a sweet picture.
Melanie turned to Isabella, tears in her eyes. ‘How could they do it to her? She was just a kid, a child.’
‘It was the way of aristocratic families, Mel. To Carly’s parents, marriage was a duty, a business venture. And Carly and Frankie were more of Henri and Francesca’s assets than their children.’
‘Obviously. Poor Mum and Uncle Frank! No wonder they ran away.’
 ‘We’ve seen enough now.’ As she spoke their surroundings melted back into a dark void.

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The Hilarious Tale of "The Strange Case of William Whipper-Snapper"




 One of the earliest fantasy books I read as a child, which  I didn't pay much attention to  at first glance in the school library, because the time I was yet to fully appreciate fantasy books  except  Alice In Wonderland. This  highly entertaining and hilarious  page turner by David R. Morgan (his first novel) is set in Victorian times, about a boy-William Norton Whipper Snapper- very  intelligent but preferred to use his brains to cause mischief at school, much to the annoyance of his grumpy father. He does not get along with his vain tattle tale sister Emma, nor with his parents either. A few days to Christmas he discovers a strange silver box underneath the roots of an uprooted old tree, a talking, very conceited  and annoying silver box which calls itself a '1.B Prize', a talisman made by Jovian 'The Prize Maker of Theomodor' and its sole purpose is to grant unlimited wishes to its owner. William soon discovers the I.B prize brings far more trouble than good and after Emma discovers his secret, they both embark on a quest to return the prize to the 'first given' (an ancestor of theirs) , which involved going back in time until they find the right ancestor; that way, it will never be passed to William and his descendants.

The story mostly revolves round William, Emma being a supporting character and their parents not featuring much in the book. As mentioned before,  in the earlier part of the story they don't get along; Emma always trying to stick her nose into his business causing William to snap at her:

'Don't go poking your nose in where it shouldn't be, or the Man in the Moon will change it into a fat pork sausage and cook it for his supper!'

Fantasy tales usually have talismans that grant wishes but the '1.B' prize is one no one  would find useful! It's more interested in granting wishes more to keep itself in excellent working condition than to actually  satisfy its owner; as William was quick to find out and after two botched wishes  regarded the 1.B prize as ' becoming as useful as a flu epidemic.' Plus, the prize is extremely bossy and rather insulting:

'Now kindly make a proper request. I might as well be under the tree for the amount of good you're doing me!'

Emma, thanks to her usual nosiness, finds out about the prize but rather than going to tell tales to their parents (too amazed on seeing a talking silver case) gangs up with William to see what they can do about returning the stupid case who is determined to thwart them in any way it can, trying  many times to convince them to keep it.

William and Emma go back in time to find the 'first given'; first Elizabethan  England- meeting an ancestor called Lord Benjamin Whippsnappin, then encountering  Edras Whippsnapson in Norman- Saxton England before  heading to Pre-Roman Britain, afterwards meeting Jovian the Prize Maker himself.

For fans of fantasy/adventure tales, this is a very interesting comic one but I'm not sure if it's easy to find these days except online; I'm lucky enough to still have my lone copy which was bought several years ago. But if one is lucky to find it, you won't be disappointed!

Quote from  book: 

He was also coming round to realise the merits of doing things for yourself, not putting the burden of achieving something on the dubious shoulders of luck, wishes and dreams. One could say, in fact, that finding the case had, in some ways, opened his eyes.

SANDRA BROWN'S "THE CRUSH"



To date, this the only book by Sandra Brown I've read. I usually stick to particular writers: Danielle Steel, Barbara Taylor Bradford, Dan Brown, Stephen King and some other selected writers but when I found this book in the school library years ago (where I worked as a teacher), I just had to read it after viewing the summary at the back.


THE CRUSH is what I would call a thriller and I really think this book should be adapted into a movie. The story is about a beautiful doctor who finds herself stalked by a professional killer who first encountered her in his own trial as she was the forewoman of the jury who acquitted him. To impress her and show his 'devotion', he commits a terrible act on her behalf and the police's fingers all point to her as the victim was a colleague/rival. Enter a disgraced  police officer to help solve the case i.e investigate whether or not the doctor is guilty of complicity, which is rather hard on this chap as the assassin was his nemesis and he found himself genuinely attracted to the doctor, who is not pleased when she finds out the handsome stranger she was reluctantly liking was sent to spy on her; as if getting unwanted flowers and cards from her so called  admirer wasn't bad enough.

There are two main characters here; Dr. Rennie Newton and Detective Wick Threadgill. An unlikely pair. Yet they are rather alike; they are both dedicated to their line of work, both very stubborn, both cynical and jaded,  both carrying the heavy load of pain and penance on their shoulders and the assassin, Ricky Roy Lozada- their enemy.  In the first half of the book, they don't trust each other despite the growing emotional and sexual attraction for each other.  Rennie we find is calm and collected and a fine surgeon but the reader immediately senses she's hiding something. Detective Wick is an angry, bitter man and we wonder what caused him to take a long leave of absence and the reason behind his panic attacks. He is told about Rennie's past by his partner and two people who knew Rennie as a child but- and this I like about him- was more interested in hearing Rennie's side of the story. Some malicious readers would say he was letting his sexual desire for the beautiful doctor cloud his judgement but Wick simply followed his intuition; refusing to   completely judge her and very insistent she told him the real story. As they get to know each other properly, with the dark cloud of Lozada looming over them, they heal each other emotionally. Wick opens up to her about his sad past and she does the same- for the first time in years letting a man steal her heart. It's true what they say about finding love in unexpected places and situations and this was a classic example; the moment when Rennie and Wick finally made love is one of the most memorable and erotic scenes in fiction.

Lozada is a pure sociopath, it's shown that even as a child, he was incapable of love, compassion and remorse; he fears nothing and nobody. He's also super confident and narcissistic- actually believing Rennie's decision to acquit him during her jury duty was out of personal interest of him and got very angry when he saw Rennie with his enemy; regarding it as a huge betrayal. A man like that is terrifying and evil and all through the book, I was hoping he wouldn't get the chance to harm Rennie. I wouldn't say he's sick, he's just plain evil.

Wick's partner, Oren Wesley... he's an ASS; I  really detested him. He was so certain Rennie was guilty of complicity and constantly used her past against her, actually calling her 'a whore in a white coat' to Wick's face and I was glad to see Wick  immediately defending her. I would have thought someone who was less impulsive than Wick would know better; but no- Oren was horrible towards Rennie, biased and really judgmental- as a police officer he didn't seem to  want to assume the 'Innocent Until Proven Guilty' stance with Rennie, her past his main reason for his attitude and it was only after she suffers a tragedy that he relents and realized he was wrong.

The story is excellent; it's mostly about obsession and finding healing after a lot of pain- so it's not just your average detective story. It's a page turner with a good amount of suspense and the earlier mentioned VERY HOT love scene and afterwards the reader will impatiently turn the pages to see how it will all end with Rennie and Wick.

Quote from book:

"I'll be your best friend for the rest of your life. I'll try my damnedest to heal the parts of you that still hurts. I'll be an ardent and faithful lover. I'd father your children, gladly. And I would protect you with my life."

FORGIVENESS; WHAT ABOUT FORGETTING?







To err is human; to forgive divine...

A much quoted sentence by millions. We are human; we make mistakes, we sin, we hurt others- deliberately and unknowingly. And when the remorse kicks in, we seek forgiveness. Some sins are hard to forgive, the wounds inflicted too close to the bone that the act of forgiveness is very hard or impossible. Still forgiveness is a pathway to closure and healing and it is widely preached that if God can forgive us; why can't we do the same among ourselves? 
But forgiveness is one thing... what about forgetting? "Forgive and Forget"- does they actually go together or two separate actions because the way I see it, forgetting is harder than forgiveness itself. And if one is unable to forget... is the certain act of forgiveness real? 
I think it depends on the wrong doing/sin/mistake/betrayal committed or the gravity of the wrong act/sin itself. Some wounds, like I said early, run too deep and close to the bone, some sins and wrong acts too hard to forgive and get past. But even if forgiveness is possible in cases like that; forgetting would be near to impossible.
Another case would be the relationship between the wrong doer and the victim. In African culture, it's almost unheard off for parents to apologise to their children for acts of verbal and physical abuse and for the children to hold grudges- that is  seen as an act of disrespect and they are expected to 'automatically' forgive their parents and move on. But it's not likely they will forget, because when they become adults and parents themselves; they wouldn't want to inflict what they went through on their own kids. 
And there the case of a sibling backstabbing a sibling, a friend backstabbing a friend, or a spouse betraying a spouse. A wrong act or betrayal  from someone close to you is the worst type of hurt because usually it's not foreseen or expected. How easy is it to forgive in this case? It would be hard but gradually out of love and if there is a genuine show of remorse from the guilty party, forgiveness is easy. But there would come a time when there would be a fight and the old wound would resurface when the victim throws the past wrong action at the wrong doer's face. So NO... in most cases, Forgiveness and Forgetting do not go together. However at the same time, forgetting is necessary. NOT forgetting festers old wounds and eat into the soul and causes lasting bitterness and resentment.
 The victim will always remember, hence unable to really heal. A person who is able to both forgive and forget does so merely to be able to completely  remove all wounds from the heart in order to live life to the fullness, with the knowledge he or she did the right thing. 




WHAT DEFINES A REAL MARRIAGE?

Image courtesy of Justshutter at Freedigitalphotos.net

"Only dogs are to obey. If you love your wife, you'll value her opinion"- Prince Akeem (Eddie Murphy) to Semmi (Aresnio Hall) in COMING TO AMERICA.
How many men follow that quote in the real world?

The general consensus is that marriage is a relationship of equals; the husband of course is the head of the household and the wife is his companion, lover, mother of his children and his best friend. The wife has her own role to play of course but it's not to be a doormat. Respect your husband but do not let him walk over you, belittle you and not allow you to voice your opinion.

I feel the best kind of marriage is a marriage of equals. The fact the man is the head of the household doesn't mean the woman won't get to make some decisions in the marriage or in the raising of the children. The best kind of relationship is the one where both spouses make the decisions. They go over the issue in question and reach a real agreement without resentment or second thoughts. In most patriarchal societies, the wife is expected to be the submissive subordinate but surely not every man follows the patriarchal principle, not if he's modern and truly loves his wife. Will a man who really loves his wife prefer her to be a timid mouse who is far too submissive to make her opinions known and just allow him to make ALL the decisions in the house and control her? I think not.
I'm not married yet but when I do, that's the type of marriage I want- a marriage of equals. That's the definition of a real marriage, where the wife is a partner and not the subordinate, guided but NOT controlled. Only tyrants and men who live in the dark ages would prefer to be married to a woman with no will of her own.

Tu O Nadie: The fifth version

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