Friday, October 03, 2014

WHAT DEFINES A REAL MARRIAGE?

Image courtesy of Justshutter at Freedigitalphotos.net

"Only dogs are to obey. If you love your wife, you'll value her opinion"- Prince Akeem (Eddie Murphy) to Semmi (Aresnio Hall) in COMING TO AMERICA.
How many men follow that quote in the real world?

The general consensus is that marriage is a relationship of equals; the husband of course is the head of the household and the wife is his companion, lover, mother of his children and his best friend. The wife has her own role to play of course but it's not to be a doormat. Respect your husband but do not let him walk over you, belittle you and not allow you to voice your opinion.

I feel the best kind of marriage is a marriage of equals. The fact the man is the head of the household doesn't mean the woman won't get to make some decisions in the marriage or in the raising of the children. The best kind of relationship is the one where both spouses make the decisions. They go over the issue in question and reach a real agreement without resentment or second thoughts. In most patriarchal societies, the wife is expected to be the submissive subordinate but surely not every man follows the patriarchal principle, not if he's modern and truly loves his wife. Will a man who really loves his wife prefer her to be a timid mouse who is far too submissive to make her opinions known and just allow him to make ALL the decisions in the house and control her? I think not.
I'm not married yet but when I do, that's the type of marriage I want- a marriage of equals. That's the definition of a real marriage, where the wife is a partner and not the subordinate, guided but NOT controlled. Only tyrants and men who live in the dark ages would prefer to be married to a woman with no will of her own.