MY FAVORITE THINGS

CARBO FAN FICTION- CARLY'S DIARY PART 7

Part 7

Nicholas and Abby had to use their combined strength to keep Melanie away from the room in ICU where Daniel, Karen Long and some nurses were doing their best to save Carly.

‘Don’t let her die, please God, don’t let her die!’ Melanie wept loudly, trying to wrestle herself away from the hands holding her firmly.

Jennifer was staring at the glass window, her hand on her throat; frozen with fear for Carly.

Frankie and Molly came hurrying up; Frankie white faced. ‘The head nurse told us Carly was brought up here... something about a Code Blue?’

‘I was there with her...’ Jennifer turned to them, tears flowing. ‘all of a sudden she went into cardiac arrest.’

‘Christ...’ Frankie turned to help calm his niece while Abby let go of her to go up to her mother.

‘If she dies...’

‘She won’t, Mum.’

‘I’ll never be able to tell her how sorry I am...’

‘She’s going to make it.’ Molly said, her manner towards Jennifer gentler and kinder than their last encounter, seeing how genuinely upset she was, feeling certain Carly didn’t hold a grudge against her old school mate and would willingly forgive her... when she came out of the coma.

Bo, where are you? Carly’s life is hanging by a thread and you aren’t here! Damn you, you’re supposed to be here! Molly thought angrily, tears stinging her eyes as she and Abby tried to calm Jennifer down. Melanie stopped struggling after stern but well meaning words from Frankie but was still restless as she waited with her uncle and brother; Nicholas firmly holding her round the waist in case she wanted to dart into the room. She glanced at Abby and Molly through red eyes. Molly smiled reassuringly at her while Abby mouthed it’s going to be okay across to her. She looked at Nicholas. He looked tough but she saw the fear in his eyes. Her heart went out to him and Melanie, inwardly praying for Carly.

‘She’s stabilized now.’ Karen Long said when she finally came out with Daniel. ‘For a moment we thought we were going to lose her but Carly’s a real fighter.’

Frankie closed his eyes, his arms round Melanie as she sobbed quietly against his shoulder. Nicholas patted Molly’s hand resting on his arm and dabbed his teary eyes before asking quietly, ‘can we see her now?’

‘Sure, Nick.’ Daniel said sombrely, moving forward to hug Melanie tightly before she followed Nicholas and Molly. Frankie refused to make eye contact with Jennifer, ignoring her when she said his name. Jennifer sniffled, turning to Daniel who took her in his arms, pressing a kiss on her forehead, Abby rubbed her back. ‘It’s going to be okay, Mum. Stop crying... Carly’s going to wake up before we know it and you guys will be friends again. Please believe that,’ she pleaded. ‘She will get through this and you both will get past what happened.’

‘Honey, come on now,’ Daniel soothed her. ‘It’s going to be all right.’

Jennifer raised and nodded numbly, watching Carly’s family and Molly around her bed through the door’s window.

:::

‘Hope, since the kidnapping I’ve been trying to figure out what’s going on in your head!’

‘You need that don’t you; you need that kind of harmony; just like what you have with Carly right now.’ That’s what really bugged her. It wasn’t just a physical affair... like he was trying to get back at her. This was a woman from his past, a woman he never told her about! Bo was clearly enjoying being with a woman who was probably more submissive... his perfect princess Carly.

Bo’s brown eyes were angry. ‘So, I’m supposed to feel guilty about that? Because you couldn’t live with the status quo, I’m supposed to what... live alone for the rest of my life?’

‘How about a month?’ she shouted, stung by his words even though she knew she had no right to ask him such a question. She was the one who left, who spoke of divorce.

‘I did try a month!’ he shouted back.

‘Oh please...!’ she scoffed.

‘And I tried to figure out what the hell was going on with you, what the hell you wanted!’

Okay... she left their house with Ciara... said some things out of anger; gave broad hints about a permanent separation. But she returned that night! She returned and found another woman asleep on their bed!

What right did she have to toy with Bo’s emotions... leaving him with the intent of divorce but immediately changing her mind, like she felt he was punished enough, punished for what? How could she have thought Bo loved her too much keep tolerating such behaviour just like before... when she left their home to be alone after Kayla’s shooting. He’d wanted them to go somewhere to heal, she chose differently and shut him out, to his frustration. What did Carly do except succumb to her love when Bo went to her for comfort? Bo was blameless, she’d known that the whole time and admitted it but insisted on blaming Carly.

‘We have a 25 year history together and my family’s become his family and they are very important to him. Now there could’ve been about 11 Hortons who could’ve come round the corner just now, who aren’t thrilled with him these days. How do you think that could’ve been played out, huh?’

Carly stared back, green eyes impassive.

‘He doesn’t want to lose them, Carly. But just think, about what you’re doing.’

‘Do you see this as condescension to him?’ Carly said at last.

‘What I see this you want this to play out as a great love story and it’s not. You say that you love Bo? Then maybe you should start thinking about what you’re doing to his life.’

Hope sighed, staring at a photo of Bo and herself, standing on either side of Alice.

She was the one who packed her belongings and left their house with their daughter. She’d thrown the fact that she had the Hortons and Bradys, both families who were once Carly’s friends, in the woman’s face. Yet in the end Bo was able to forgive her and they’d moved on, refusing to think of the woman they both wronged... ignored her existence. How ironic the guilt she refused to succumb for so long was now out in the open; during Bo’s absence. She wasn’t vindictive but she’d been more than glad to have Bo back and their unspoken agreement not to discuss Carly after he admitted his time with her had been a mistake. But now, it was pretty much a hollow victory. It was discovered later she and Bo weren’t legally married. He left town to put an end to Stefano DiMera’s empire for good and she had to endure months without him.

God... what am I saying? What about Carly? She was the one who had to watch them all happy after being left in the cold- no doubt hating them both- she was the one who was lying in a coma at the hospital! Was there any wonder Jennifer and Roman and probably other members of the family now felt guilty? Was there a reason for her to feel resentful Bo has another child? Hope shook her head, still staring at the photos, knowing the answers to her questions.

Now she had Aiden, or will have him if she truly wanted him. And to be honest... she really wanted him in her life.

‘Mummy, is something wrong?’

She turned to see Ciara standing behind her. Watching her daughter, Hope couldn’t help but think how she and Zach probably wouldn’t have been born at all if Carly was the one with Bo when she’d returned to Salem years ago. ‘Nothing’s wrong sweetie.’

‘But you’re crying.’

Hope blinked, her hand moving up to her wet eyes. ‘I’m fine... really.’ She assured her. Staring at Ciara, she knew what she had to do. It was time.

‘Come sit,’ she took the girl’s hand, drawing her to the couch and sat next to her. ‘There’s something I need to tell you.’

‘About Daddy?’ Ciara asked hopefully.

‘No, not about Daddy.’ Hope paused, quickly working out the best way to tell Ciara this piece of news.

She stifled an impatient curse when the doorbell rang and up to answer it.

Ciara rushed up to Maggie and Julie and was warmly hugged and kissed by both women.

‘We’re just from the hospital.’ Maggie said after Hope sent Ciara upstairs.

‘Oh.’ Hope sat down. ‘How’s... how’s Carly?’

‘Melanie said she coded but her doctors were able to stabilise her; thank God.’ Maggie replied, her expression grave. ‘I’m just glad Melanie’s not alone at a time like this; Daniel, Brady, Frankie and Nicholas will do all they can for her.’

Hope was aware Carly and Lawrence have a son but she frowned at the mention of Frankie. ‘Frankie’s in town?’

Maggie nodded. ‘He’s not exactly pleased with us right now and to be honest, it would be best if you don’t run into him.’

Hope was baffled. ‘Why not?’

Julie and Maggie looked uncomfortable, Julie finally saying quietly, ‘Frankie is Carly’s brother.’

‘What?’

‘It’s true, they were born Katerina and François Von Leuschner; scions of a very powerful European family.'

‘I don’t understand... when Shawn and Caroline adopted Frankie his name was Donner!’ Hope couldn’t believe what she was hearing.

‘Frankie and Carly ran away from their parents- at different times- and changed their names.’ Julie explained further.

Hope closed her eyes, shaking her head. ‘Oh God.’

‘Yes. And he’s very angry; especially with you and Bo. He wants nothing to do with us at all.’

Frankie had shrank back when Maggie tried to hug him and looked through Julie as though she wasn’t there. Roman, who was present, was annoyed; telling Frankie not to let his anger go too far by refusing to give them a chance to make amends.

‘Did they care about my sister’s feelings at the time?’

‘Granted... Carly was mistreated and she didn't deserve it...’

‘But she was mistreated anyway,’ Frankie glowered. ‘All to protect her. Besides, Kayla already made it damn clear how you lot thought of Carly.’

‘Kayla doesn’t speak for all of us,’ Maggie had corrected, wincing at the contemptuous use of you lot.

‘Whatever. But once she comes out of the coma, none of you will be able to hurt her again, because I’m going to convince her to get out this town. She can raise Starr in a whole new place and finally get some stability.’

‘Starr’s a Brady, Frankie. Mum will be crushed if she never gets to be with her.’ Roman said.

‘How convenient, given what she thought about her mother.’

‘Frankie, you really need to get past this; we’re sorry alright?’ Julie had pleaded.

Frankie’s face was scornful as he stared her down before turning back to Roman. ‘You know what’s funny, Roman? The whole time Carly told me everything, she actually made excuses for you all. She felt you were all still mad at her for leaving town with Alamain. She said Justin told her she deserved whatever Larry did to her. Is that what you all thought?’ he hurled at Maggie and Julie.

‘No!’ Maggie exclaimed, appalled.

‘Did you ask her? Did anyone of you care enough to ask her what happened to her all those years? I’ll tell you- after Lawrence took advantage of her amnesia and finally lured her back... he beat her, he raped her, threatening to kill me if she dared call me for help! She had to keep me away by pretending she didn't want to see me! He wrenched Melanie out of her arms and took her away. Did you ask her all this? No! You lot just believed she was out to get Bo away from Hope! You believed she gladly gave her daughter away... don’t you touch me!’ he pulled his arm away from Julie’s touch, his eyes glinting with anger.

Melanie had been with Carly so she wasn't present but Molly was and had nothing to add, except a look of reproach.

‘I can imagine he is.’ Hope said after recovering from what she just heard. ‘What did he say about Bo and me?’

‘Honey... what does it matter?’

‘What did he say?’ Hope’s tone was harsh.

Maggie and Julie looked more uncomfortable. ‘He said you and Bo caused Carly a lot of pain and if Bo tries to seek custody of Starr when he comes back, he’ll make a lot of trouble for him.’ Maggie said quietly. ‘I have a feeling Carly made Frankie Starr’s legal guardian in case anything happened to her.’

Hope said nothing. You and Bo caused Carly a lot of pain. Frankie’s anger was more than justified. And of course Carly wouldn’t want her daughter to be raised by her and Bo.

‘Hope, please...’ Julie said, seeing the broody look on her half sister’s face. ‘Don’t be hard on yourself.’

Hope raised her head. ‘What are you trying to say, that I have no reason to feel guilty?’

‘You don’t...’

‘No more pretence, Julie; enough. The three of us know the real truth. I treated Bo very badly but he forgave me and Carly was the one who really got hurt. And I was jealous of her because I finally realised what you all refused to tell me, what we wouldn’t admit... that he would’ve stayed with her when I came back. Carly was the one who really replaced me, not Billie and obviously the hurt of losing her to Alamain was too much that Bo couldn’t even talk about her. He never talked about her; none of you did. Yes, we caused her a lot of pain for something that wasn't her fault but mine. I doubt Bo would’ve gotten involved with her if things were fine between us when she came back. And it was Melanie she came to find in the first place, not him.’ Hope shrugged. ‘But then again... we’ll never know, will we?’

‘Well... we just hope that Carly will make it.’ Maggie said at last. ‘and as for Frankie, in time...’

‘He has the right to be angry, I would if it was my sister who went through what Carly did.’ Hope interrupted. ‘But... I don’t want Carly to deprive Bo of Starr either.’

‘I’m sure she won’t; Carly’s not vindictive.’ Maggie assured. ‘and since she helped raise Shawn D, I’m sure she wouldn’t object to you being around Starr. She’s Shawn D and Ciara’s sister after all.’

‘Well, Starr will probably be more around Bo and Ciara and the rest of the family than me.’ Hope faced Julie and Maggie squarely. ‘I’ve found someone else. And I’m falling in love with him.’

:::::::::

Abby rubbed Nicholas’ shoulder consolingly as they sat on Carly’s couch and he quietly talked about his relationship with Carly from the time he was told she was his mother; how at first he wanted nothing to do with her and then did his best to ruin her relationship with Bo and Shawn D. And how he wasn't there for her when Lawrence continuously abused her.

‘You are not like your father. I don’t believe for a minute you would ever hurt anyone.’

‘But I hurt my mother so much.’

‘Mel’s gone through this guilt trip already and she’s managed to forgive herself. Now you have to as well. Carly forgave you both a long time ago, didn't she? You two and Starr are very important to her. You made your mistakes but it wasn't you who abused her. Please Nicky, don’t beat yourself up like this.’ Abby pleaded, hating the miserable look on his face.

Nicholas nodded, dabbing at the corner of his eye. ‘I was so afraid she was going to die today.’

‘She’s going to make it, believe that.’

Nicholas nodded again, looking at Abby. ‘You’re a good friend.’ He smiled faintly. ‘And no one’s called me Nicky for a long time.’

‘I’m sorry...’

‘No, that’s okay; I don’t mind.’ He was suddenly aware of Abby Deveraux. She was a pretty girl, beautiful actually; her upturned face looking at him with compassion and warmth, a hint of shyness in her eyes. Unexpectedly his heart began to race and giving in to impulse, he leaned forward and kissed her on the mouth. Abby’s arms went round him and she kissed him back so eagerly that he pulled her in his arms and kissed her again and again with mounting passion; desire for her running through his body. Eventually they pulled apart, stunned as they stared at each other.

‘What just happened?’ Nicholas asked, trying to catch his breath.

Abby touched his sensual, trembling mouth; her heart beating fast. He’s finally noticed me... finally. ‘I...’ she stopped, not sure of what to say.

‘We’ve just met.’

‘I know, it’s crazy.’

‘But...’ Nicholas touched her warm cheek, his hand moving up to stroke her hair. ‘It’s almost .... like I’ve been searching for you my whole life. I feel so connected to you.’

Abby smiled. ‘I’ve felt the same about you since Carly introduced us. I was so sure you would never notice me.’

Nicholas kissed her again. ‘Silly girl.’

‘You’re one of the world’s eligible bachelors. You could have your pick of any society or royal chick.’

‘Spoilt debutantes.’ Nicholas said, a touch of arrogance in his voice as he put his arm round Abby, pulling her closer. ‘none of them are you.’

‘That’s so sweet,’ Abby whispered.

‘Now that we’ve found each other,’ Nicholas went on, tracing an eyebrow with his finger, ‘we’re going to take it one step at a time.’

:::::::::::::::::

‘I saw the look in his eyes; I didn’t even have to say out loud things have changed. They reconciled on the run just like I knew they would and why wouldn’t they? They have 25 years and three kids together; she’s his true soul mate. How could he expect me to still go home with him when it was more than obvious what’s happened? He said he loved me but it wasn't the same as the woman he’s been with for so long; no matter what she did to him. And it wasn't like she was in her right mind at the time anyway. How could he abandon her now?

It took all my courage to touch that beloved face one last time, assuring him I’ll be alright. I thanked him for helping me find Melanie, even though my heart was breaking. Part of me hoped he loved me enough to beg me to stay, but the other part reminded me... he will always belong to Hope. Jennifer was right all along.

As I walked out, I was calm but I couldn’t help thinking... the best decision isn’t always made without involving some amount of pain.

How true that is, Melanie thought sadly, thinking about when she sent Nathan away. The words on the paper were blotched; her mother’s tears as she expressed her pain in her diary. She turned as a knock sounded on the door. ‘Come in,’ she said, wiping her eyes and sat up on her bed as the door opened.

Nicholas poked his head in. ‘Uncle Frankie’s taking us all out to dinner, including Abby. Coming?’

Melanie hesitated then shook her head.

‘Melanie, come on... you have to go out sometime.’

‘I’ll fix something for myself; I really don’t feel like going out. You guys go on... I’ll be fine.’

Nicholas didn't look pleased. ‘Are you sure?’

‘Just go, okay?’

Nicholas shrugged. ‘See you later then.’ He closed the door.

Melanie looked at Carly’s diary still on her lap, imagining Carly’s pain. Then she thought of what she heard from Molly about Carly’s past with Bo. I’ve never seen two people more in love than Bo and your Mum were back then.

If only I could see them back then, Melanie thought. And understand why their story ended in the first place.

Frustrated, she closed the diary and got out of bed. Suddenly she got the feeling someone was in the room with her, the air felt different and she felt a chill down her back. She turned sharply, shrieking in surprise at the woman standing near the door. She shrank back. ‘Who are you? How... how did you get in here?’

‘Don’t be frightened.’ The woman said, smiling serenely at her.

Melanie blinked, but the figure in white was still there. A ghost, God... she was seeing a ghost! She frowned, her mind going back to a framed photograph in Brady’s loft. ‘Wait... I’ve seen you before. You’re Brady’s mum; Isabella.’

‘That’s right. I was almost your aunt. But I’m glad to see that you and my son have a brother and sister bond all the same. I left this world the night Abby came into it.’

‘Oh...’ Melanie forced herself to stop trembling. Isabella Black looked anything but terrifying. ‘What do you want from me?’ she asked timidly.

‘It more like I want to give you, Melanie. Answers. You’ve been reading Carly’s diaries and you’ve learnt more about her from it and from Molly and Roman. But there’s a lot more to learn, for you to understand. Call this Carly’s’ virtual diary.’

As she spoke, the room darkened and Melanie felt she was in an endless void. ‘What’s going on?’ she exclaimed.

‘We’re going to the past; your mother’s past.’

Melanie felt she was in the middle of some weird dream but felt some excitement as well. Carly’s past. What she’d wished for... she was about to see for herself.

The void cleared and Melanie blinked at the sun rays. She looked round in wonder. Where they were looked like an opulent country estate. ‘Where’s this place?’ she asked.

‘Carly and Frankie’s childhood home; where they were born to Henri and Francesca Von Leuschner. Come.’

The house they were approaching was large, almost like a castle. Inside, Melanie’s eyes grew even wider, speechless. Compared to the interior of Victor Kiriakis’ mansion, the whole place screamed old money and aristocracy; marble floors, tasteful antiques and valuable paintings on the walls. This was where her mother and uncle grew up? Carly only mentioned in passing that her parents were well off but she and Frankie didn't get along with them; the reason why they eventually ran away from home.

Isabella led Melanie into a large panelled room which Melanie immediately saw was a study. And a man was talking to a little girl who looked mutinous and tearful. Melanie moved closer to the child. Green eyes... hair lighter but she immediately saw the little girl was Carly. ‘Oh my.’ She said, chuckling. She turned to look at the man. Blue black eyes in a handsome but austere face; Carly and Frankie’s father.

‘You should see this as a real honour, Katerina.’

Katerina? Carly was Katerina back then?

‘I don’t want to marry somebody I don’t know! How can you and mother do this to me?’

‘Leopold and Philomena Alamain have chosen you for their son. And you know what this means; an alliance between the Alamains and the Von Leuschners.’

‘Please Father; I don’t want to marry him!’ Carly’s voice was shrill. ‘I don’t want an arranged marriage... I don’t want to be betrothed!’

‘Silence!’ the man barked and Melanie shook her head, aghast. What was this, the 1800s? How can any father do this to his own daughter? Carly was just a child, from the look of her not yet ten.

‘It’s your duty, Katerina and you will do your duty.’

‘No!’

‘Katerina!’ Melanie turned as a woman entered the study. She had blonde hair worn in an elegant chignon, Carly’s green eyes and pearls round her neck, a perfect foil for the deep blue dress she was wearing.

‘This is... my grandmother?’ she whispered to Isabella even though no one in the room could see, hear or feel them. Isabella nodded.

The woman was beautiful but like her husband, there was no warmth on her face. ‘Don’t you realise what a privilege this is? The Alamains are royalty and as a Von Leuschner...’

‘I will not marry him! Never!’ Sobbing, Carly fled the room, running down the hall. Melanie hurried after her. Carly ran through open French windows into the garden, running to sit under a tree, burying her face in her hands. Melanie felt like crying too as she watched Carly sob. Born in this beautiful, grand old place yet it wasn't much of a home; not with parents like Henri and Francesca. And she’d addressed them as Father and Mother instead of Daddy and Mummy.

A boy ran up to Carly. Frankie... Melanie thought, grinning in spite of herself. Back then Frankie was adorably handsome; white long sleeved shirt, black shorts, white socks and leather oxfords. Carly’s hair spotted a bow, small pearl studs in her ears and her yellow dress had a lace collar; white socks and matching shoes. The formal dressing of children born in privilege; not every day kids who wore jeans, sneakers and colourful t shirts with cartoon characters on them. A totally different world from the Bradys.

Frankie put his arms round his sister, trying to console her.

‘François, what am I going to do?’

François. Melanie was no longer surprised. Katerina and François obviously changed their names after they ran away from home. Max told her years ago he met Frankie while on the run from Trent and both boys were taken in by the Bradys. But what about Carly?

‘Don’t cry Katerina.’ little Frankie pleaded.

‘Father and Mother don’t care about us. They just want us to marry money! I’m only eight and they’ve chosen a husband for me already. How can they do this?’

‘It’s going to be okay. Please stop crying, Katerina. I’m here.’ Frankie held on to her, both children making a sweet picture.

Melanie turned to Isabella, tears in her eyes. ‘How could they do it to her? She was just a kid, a child.’

‘It was the way of aristocratic families, Mel. To Carly’s parents, marriage was a duty, a business venture. And Carly and Frankie were more of Henri and Francesca’s assets than their children.’

‘Obviously. Poor Mum and Uncle Frank! No wonder they ran away.’

‘We’ve seen enough now.’ As she spoke their surroundings melted back into a dark void.

NEWSLETTER: 13 Reads Perfect for Fall!

Explore some of our biggest and best fall books!	Can't See the Images? View as a Webpage

“If you think about someone you've loved and lost, you are already with them”
—Jodi Picoult, Leaving Time

The Hilarious Tale of "The Strange Case of William Whipper-Snapper"

One of the earliest fantasy books I read as a child, which I didn't pay much attention to at first glance in the school library, because the time I was yet to fully appreciate fantasy books except Alice In Wonderland. This highly entertaining and hilarious page turner by David R. Morgan (his first novel) is set in Victorian times, about a boy-William Norton Whipper Snapper- very intelligent but preferred to use his brains to cause mischief at school, much to the annoyance of his grumpy father. He does not get along with his vain tattle tale sister Emma, nor with his parents either. A few days to Christmas he discovers a strange silver box underneath the roots of an uprooted old tree, a talking, very conceited and annoying silver box which calls itself a '1.B Prize', a talisman made by Jovian 'The Prize Maker of Theomodor' and its sole purpose is to grant unlimited wishes to its owner. William soon discovers the I.B prize brings far more trouble than good and after Emma discovers his secret, they both embark on a quest to return the prize to the 'first given' (an ancestor of theirs) , which involved going back in time until they find the right ancestor; that way, it will never be passed to William and his descendants.

The story mostly revolves round William, Emma being a supporting character and their parents not featuring much in the book. As mentioned before, in the earlier part of the story they don't get along; Emma always trying to stick her nose into his business causing William to snap at her:

'Don't go poking your nose in where it shouldn't be, or the Man in the Moon will change it into a fat pork sausage and cook it for his supper!'

Fantasy tales usually have talismans that grant wishes but the '1.B' prize is one no one would find useful! It's more interested in granting wishes more to keep itself in excellent working condition than to actually satisfy its owner; as William was quick to find out and after two botched wishes regarded the 1.B prize as ' becoming as useful as a flu epidemic.' Plus, the prize is extremely bossy and rather insulting:

'Now kindly make a proper request. I might as well be under the tree for the amount of good you're doing me!'

Emma, thanks to her usual nosiness, finds out about the prize but rather than going to tell tales to their parents (too amazed on seeing a talking silver case) gangs up with William to see what they can do about returning the stupid case who is determined to thwart them in any way it can, trying many times to convince them to keep it.

William and Emma go back in time to find the 'first given'; first Elizabethan England- meeting an ancestor called Lord Benjamin Whippsnappin, then encountering Edras Whippsnapson in Norman- Saxton England before heading to Pre-Roman Britain, afterwards meeting Jovian the Prize Maker himself.

For fans of fantasy/adventure tales, this is a very interesting comic one but I'm not sure if it's easy to find these days except online; I'm lucky enough to still have my lone copy which was bought several years ago. But if one is lucky to find it, you won't be disappointed!

Quote from book:

He was also coming round to realise the merits of doing things for yourself, not putting the burden of achieving something on the dubious shoulders of luck, wishes and dreams. One could say, in fact, that finding the case had, in some ways, opened his eyes.

SANDRA BROWN'S "THE CRUSH"

To date, this the only book by Sandra Brown I've read. I usually stick to particular writers: Danielle Steel, Barbara Taylor Bradford, Dan Brown, Stephen King and some other selected writers but when I found this book in the school library years ago (where I worked as a teacher), I just had to read it after viewing the summary at the back.

THE CRUSH is what I would call a thriller and I really think this book should be adapted into a movie. The story is about a beautiful doctor who finds herself stalked by a professional killer who first encountered her in his own trial as she was the forewoman of the jury who acquitted him. To impress her and show his 'devotion', he commits a terrible act on her behalf and the police's fingers all point to her as the victim was a colleague/rival. Enter a disgraced police officer to help solve the case i.e investigate whether or not the doctor is guilty of complicity, which is rather hard on this chap as the assassin was his nemesis and he found himself genuinely attracted to the doctor, who is not pleased when she finds out the handsome stranger she was reluctantly liking was sent to spy on her; as if getting unwanted flowers and cards from her so called admirer wasn't bad enough.

There are two main characters here; Dr. Rennie Newton and Detective Wick Threadgill. An unlikely pair. Yet they are rather alike; they are both dedicated to their line of work, both very stubborn, both cynical and jaded, both carrying the heavy load of pain and penance on their shoulders and the assassin, Ricky Roy Lozada- their enemy. In the first half of the book, they don't trust each other despite the growing emotional and sexual attraction for each other. Rennie we find is calm and collected and a fine surgeon but the reader immediately senses she's hiding something. Detective Wick is an angry, bitter man and we wonder what caused him to take a long leave of absence and the reason behind his panic attacks. He is told about Rennie's past by his partner and two people who knew Rennie as a child but- and this I like about him- was more interested in hearing Rennie's side of the story. Some malicious readers would say he was letting his sexual desire for the beautiful doctor cloud his judgement but Wick simply followed his intuition; refusing to completely judge her and very insistent she told him the real story. As they get to know each other properly, with the dark cloud of Lozada looming over them, they heal each other emotionally. Wick opens up to her about his sad past and she does the same- for the first time in years letting a man steal her heart. It's true what they say about finding love in unexpected places and situations and this was a classic example; the moment when Rennie and Wick finally made love is one of the most memorable and erotic scenes in fiction.

Lozada is a pure sociopath, it's shown that even as a child, he was incapable of love, compassion and remorse; he fears nothing and nobody. He's also super confident and narcissistic- actually believing Rennie's decision to acquit him during her jury duty was out of personal interest of him and got very angry when he saw Rennie with his enemy; regarding it as a huge betrayal. A man like that is terrifying and evil and all through the book, I was hoping he wouldn't get the chance to harm Rennie. I wouldn't say he's sick, he's just plain evil.

Wick's partner, Oren Wesley... he's an ASS; I really detested him. He was so certain Rennie was guilty of complicity and constantly used her past against her, actually calling her 'a whore in a white coat' to Wick's face and I was glad to see Wick immediately defending her. I would have thought someone who was less impulsive than Wick would know better; but no- Oren was horrible towards Rennie, biased and really judgmental- as a police officer he didn't seem to want to assume the 'Innocent Until Proven Guilty' stance with Rennie, her past his main reason for his attitude and it was only after she suffers a tragedy that he relents and realized he was wrong.

The story is excellent; it's mostly about obsession and finding healing after a lot of pain- so it's not just your average detective story. It's a page turner with a good amount of suspense and the earlier mentioned VERY HOT love scene and afterwards the reader will impatiently turn the pages to see how it will all end with Rennie and Wick.

Quote from book:

"I'll be your best friend for the rest of your life. I'll try my damnedest to heal the parts of you that still hurts. I'll be an ardent and faithful lover. I'd father your children, gladly. And I would protect you with my life."

FORGIVENESS; WHAT ABOUT FORGETTING?

To err is human; to forgive divine...

A much quoted sentence by millions. We are human; we make mistakes, we sin, we hurt others- deliberately and unknowingly. And when the remorse kicks in, we seek forgiveness. Some sins are hard to forgive, the wounds inflicted too close to the bone that the act of forgiveness is very hard or impossible. Still forgiveness is a pathway to closure and healing and it is widely preached that if God can forgive us; why can't we do the same among ourselves?

But forgiveness is one thing... what about forgetting? "Forgive and Forget"- does they actually go together or two separate actions because the way I see it, forgetting is harder than forgiveness itself. And if one is unable to forget... is the certain act of forgiveness real?

I think it depends on the wrong doing/sin/mistake/betrayal committed or the gravity of the wrong act/sin itself. Some wounds, like I said early, run too deep and close to the bone, some sins and wrong acts too hard to forgive and get past. But even if forgiveness is possible in cases like that; forgetting would be near to impossible.

Another case would be the relationship between the wrong doer and the victim. In African culture, it's almost unheard off for parents to apologise to their children for acts of verbal and physical abuse and for the children to hold grudges- that is seen as an act of disrespect and they are expected to 'automatically' forgive their parents and move on. But it's not likely they will forget, because when they become adults and parents themselves; they wouldn't want to inflict what they went through on their own kids.

And there the case of a sibling backstabbing a sibling, a friend backstabbing a friend, or a spouse betraying a spouse. A wrong act or betrayal from someone close to you is the worst type of hurt because usually it's not foreseen or expected. How easy is it to forgive in this case? It would be hard but gradually out of love and if there is a genuine show of remorse from the guilty party, forgiveness is easy. But there would come a time when there would be a fight and the old wound would resurface when the victim throws the past wrong action at the wrong doer's face. So NO... in most cases, Forgiveness and Forgetting do not go together. However at the same time, forgetting is necessary. NOT forgetting festers old wounds and eat into the soul and causes lasting bitterness and resentment.

The victim will always remember, hence unable to really heal. A person who is able to both forgive and forget does so merely to be able to completely remove all wounds from the heart in order to live life to the fullness, with the knowledge he or she did the right thing.

WHAT DEFINES A REAL MARRIAGE?

Image courtesy of Justshutter at Freedigitalphotos.net

"Only dogs are to obey. If you love your wife, you'll value her opinion"- Prince Akeem (Eddie Murphy) to Semmi (Aresnio Hall) in COMING TO AMERICA.
How many men follow that quote in the real world?

The general consensus is that marriage is a relationship of equals; the husband of course is the head of the household and the wife is his companion, lover, mother of his children and his best friend. The wife has her own role to play of course but it's not to be a doormat. Respect your husband but do not let him walk over you, belittle you and not allow you to voice your opinion.
I feel the best kind of marriage is a marriage of equals. The fact the man is the head of the household doesn't mean the woman won't get to make some decisions in the marriage or in the raising of the children. The best kind of relationship is the one where both spouses make the decisions. They go over the issue in question and reach a real agreement without resentment or second thoughts. In most patriarchal societies, the wife is expected to be the submissive subordinate but surely not every man follows the patriarchal principle, not if he's modern and truly loves his wife. Will a man who really loves his wife prefer her to be a timid mouse who is far too submissive to make her opinions known and just allow him to make ALL the decisions in the house and control her? I think not.
I'm not married yet but when I do, that's the type of marriage I want- a marriage of equals. That's the definition of a real marriage, where the wife is a partner and not the subordinate, guided but NOT controlled. Only tyrants and men who live in the dark ages would prefer to be married to a woman with no will of her own.

CARBO FAN FICTION- CARLY'S DIARY PART 6

PART 6

‘I understand what you’re saying,’ Nicholas spoke in his cultured, European accent as he paced his sister’s bedroom after listening to her and Abby. Molly was cleaning up in the kitchen while Frankie was in Carly’s study going over work he’d brought with him. ‘But what you’re asking me to do is going to prove very difficult.’

‘But not impossible, right?’ Melanie persisted.

‘Impossible... no. But the term “deep undercover” is no exaggeration, ladies. And a man with Bo Brady’s expertise and years in law enforcement will be hard to find if he doesn’t want to be found; especially, according to his brother, he’s acting on his own. That’s what he told you, Abby?’

Abby nodded.

‘What’s this mission he’s on, anyway?’

‘Uncle Roman didn’t tell me. I don’t think he would anyway, to protect him. But Uncle Bo didn’t come back with his mum after he took her to California to treat her Alzheimer’s.’ Abby said.

Nicholas frowned, deep in thought. ‘If we can just find out who or what Brady’s investigating we could probably take it from there. Melanie, if Roman Brady’s sincere about what he said to you at the hospital, he might tell you.’

‘Fine, I’ll ask him.’

‘There’s another option. I’m willing to bet Bo has a contact; someone he’s passing his Intel to even if he’s acting on his own.’ Nicholas went on.

‘Well, it’s not Uncle Roman; he swore he has no idea where he is.’ Abby said. ‘And I don’t think it would be Shane either.’

‘Who’s Shane?’ Melanie asked.

‘Bo has a sister living in California, Kimberly. Shane’s her husband and he used to be an ISA agent. Bo won’t pass secret info to a civilian would he?’

‘I don’t think so.’ Nicholas agreed.

Abby remembered something else; a conversation she overheard at the Brady Pub between Kayla and Caroline.

‘Uncle Steve...’

‘Who?’ Melanie said, exasperated.

‘My uncle... Steve Johnson. He’s in the ISA. Actually, that’s the reason why Kayla divorced him in the first place. He’d left law enforcement for years then decided to get back into it.’

Nicholas stopped pacing. ‘We’re getting somewhere. Actually, it would make things easier for us. If there’s a chance this Steve Johnson is Bo’s contact...’

‘He’ll know where he is!’ Melanie and Abby said in unison.

‘He’ll be able to pass our message to him!’

‘Exactly,’ Nicholas smiled triumphantly.

‘Oh Nick!’ Melanie got up to hug her brother. ‘Thank God, you’re here. I knew you would be able to help find him.’

‘Let’s just hope that Johnson is the contact.’

Abby rose too, more aware of Nicholas Alamain than she could stand. When he’d arrived he’d looked at her inquiringly until she reminded him they were introduced on his last visit. He was devastatingly handsome; no doubt like his father but he had Carly’s green eyes, just like Melanie. And he was so polished and charismatic; like a prince. A crush, it’s just a crush... it will blow over in time, she thought.

‘Well... guys. I’m taking off now.’ She said rather reluctantly.

Melanie turned to her, taking her hands. ‘Thanks a lot for this, Abby. You’re a great friend.’ She smiled faintly. ‘Well... at least I hope we are from now on.’

‘Considering the history between our mums, this is how it was supposed to be anyway.’ Abby kissed Melanie on the cheek, hugging her. She turned to Nicholas. ‘See you, Nicholas.’

‘See you too, Abigail.’

Abby wanted to automatically correct him but found she liked the way her name in its actual form sounded from his mouth; in that polished accent. Smiling shyly at him, she picked up her purse and Melanie saw her out.

‘You kids had quite a long confab upstairs,’ Molly was on the couch, the T.V remote in her hand. ‘Will I be a nosy woman if I ask the subject of discussion?’

Sitting down next to her, Melanie told her and Molly listened, nodding in agreement. ‘You’re doing the right thing, Mel.’

‘Yes. And I hope Uncle Frank will understand why we’re doing this.’

‘If he doesn’t, I’ll talk to him, make him see reason.’ Molly promised. ‘you’re really doing your best for Carly. I’m glad to see it.

‘Thanks,’ Melanie picked at a loose thread on her jeans. ‘After all that hurt and misunderstandings she went through; I want to bring him back to her. Since that thing with Bo she never smiled, Molly. Even if she doesn’t get back with him, she’ll have that closure. She’ll smile again and get to raise Starr without a cloud over her head. And she’ll forget the misery of the past... at least I hope so.’

Molly sighed. ‘I hope so too. The whole thing’s so sad. Back in the day, I regarded them as the luckiest couple in town. Their story was just so romantic; the love and passion they shared... anyone would want to feel that way. And to hear it all went to hell, I can’t understand what could have happened. I don’t mean the second time around, I mean back then.’

Melanie shrugged. ‘She wouldn’t talk about it with me; I think it was too painful. But I get the feeling back then their story had an unnatural ending as this one. Because I just can’t see how two people so deeply in love and so connected found each other and then get torn apart; twice.’

‘You told me you’ve been reading her diaries, does it say what happened that day?’

‘No, I haven’t gotten to that part yet.’ Melanie admitted. To be honest, she wasn’t sure if she wanted to continue reading it. The misunderstandings were now cleared- the reason why Alamain died by her hand, why she’d kept Chloe’s secret, snippets of her past revealed. But she was going to later get to the part where Bo had to leave her and remembering Carly’s tears that day, Melanie could tell the later entries in the diary will be full of pain; especially the entry narrating the breakup. Melanie wondered if she was brave enough to read the rest.

‘Maybe Mum will tell me, eventually.... when she’s ready to talk about it.’ She said. ‘And maybe I’ll know what really happened back then. You’ve told me a lot about them, but I wish I knew more. Their story, from the very beginning. All the stuff that's not in her diaries.’

:::::::

Like Roman promised, Carly and Starr had some more visitors. Sami came with flowers and baby things, accompanied by Marlena who had sincerely wanted to reach out to Carly since her return to town but Carly’s aloofness didn't encourage her. Daniel was informed of what Melanie had gathered about Carly and silently read the entry Melanie wanted him to read, passing the diary back to her in silence; shock and disbelief on his face. ‘Chloe...’ he shook his head. ‘That rigged elevator was meant for Carly?’

‘Yes. Mum still kept her secret, only because of the test. The whole time she had no idea the other man was Phillip, it didn’t matter to her since the test was positive.’

‘You mean allegedly positive,’ Daniel said bitterly. ‘No thanks to Caroline Brady’s interference, remember?’ And Carly almost lost her license just because she was trying to help me out.’

‘Dad, we owe her a lot, a whole lot.’ Melanie emphasised.

‘I know,’ Daniel said nodding, looking back at the long list of injustices towards the mother of his daughter. How could he have accused her of not letting him be a father.. when she never got to see Melanie’s first steps or hear her first words? And to say he could’ve handled Alamain, the same man who beat, raped and did all sorts of terrible things to Carly because she wouldn’t say who fathered her child? Shame and anger hit him as he remembered the cruel words he would give anything to take them all back. As for Chloe... he’d been in love with a viper the whole time. ‘I’m glad you showed me this, honey. It really explains a lot now.’ He touched her shoulder, smiling faintly at her. Then his expression grew serious. ‘But now, I want you to do something for me.’

‘If this is about Jennifer again...’

‘Please, let her visit Carly. This grudge you’ve got towards her is ridiculous.’

‘Dad...’ Melanie fought to hold her temper. ‘She had the nerve to...’

‘I know, I know... what she did was wrong; allowing Hope in there was inappropriate and wrong. I get it. But you’ve punished her enough.’

‘Not nearly enough. It’s bad enough she wasn’t there for Mum but to bring that woman into her room to gloat,’ she shook her head angrily.

‘I’m not defending Hope Brady but I really doubt she was there to gloat. I know she partly caused Carly’s pain but she’s not a bad person either. Neither is Jen. She made her mistakes but so did you, so did I.’ Daniel put his arm round Melanie’s shoulder. ‘Do this for your old man, please.’

‘Fine,’ Melanie said sullenly, moving away from him. ‘but tell her to keep out of my way. I’m going back to check on Mum.’

Daniel shook his head at his daughter’s temper. Melanie was so sensitive and emotional; fiercely loyal to the people she loved and unyielding to those who crossed her. As he turned towards the direction to his office, he saw Kayla talking with Carly’s obstetrician. Taking his mind back to past events, he wondered if she was asking about Carly as Chief Of Staff or was concerned about her.

‘Checking on Carly’s progress?’ he asked after Dr. Long left.

Kayla looked at him inquiringly. ‘But of course, she’s a patient.’

‘Hmm. Have you actually seen her, or Starr?’

Her silence gave him her answer.

‘My God...’

‘Don’t you start with me.’

‘Just as well you were able to force Carly out of this hospital. I see you still hate her.’

‘How dare you accuse me of forcing her out.’ Kayla said, her voice tight with anger.

‘You were sure glad she left and I wasn’t the only one who noticed.’ Maxine, some nurses and several doctors blamed Kayla behind her back for Carly’s departure.

‘Carly resigned on her own and it’s because she was a sore loser. The board appointed me as Chief of Staff over her because they felt I was the right person for the job.’

‘You and I both know she was the better person for the job; especially after she won that Medical Merit Award along with me.’

‘The board doesn’t look kindly on doctors with a history of illegal activity and Carly’s guilty of that; obtaining your DNA sample without your permission to run that paternity test at St. Mary’s under false pretence.’

‘Which you couldn’t wait to report to the board.’

‘I only did my duty, she deserved to lose her license.’

‘Carly didn't give a damn about that position and I doubt she would’ve accepted it anyway. Don’t flatter yourself, Dr. Johnson.’ Daniel said scathingly. ‘Carly left because she knew how you felt about her. Lexie sided with Hope too but at least she treated Carly with professional respect; which you wouldn’t have done. You would’ve made her life here a living hell. The last thing she needed while dealing with the misery your brother put on her was a vindictive woman like you. And speaking of illegal activity, what do you call what Caroline did?’

‘Remember I’m your superior, I will not be spoken to like this.’

‘Feel free to report me too then, boss.’ Daniel snarled. ‘Go ahead! The truth’s always harsh and that’s what you’ve been hearing. You and your family are nothing but a bunch of holier-than-thou hypocrites. Melanie’s told me what she found about her mother’s past so far... a past you all decided to forget and kept from her. How you sleep at night I’ll like to know.’

Kayla glared at him, refusing to give way. ‘Carly knew Bo and Hope had children a long history but she threw herself at him anyway and too bad she got hurt when my brother came to his senses eventually. He needed Hope more than her and Carly couldn’t stand that. I’ve got nothing to apologise for; and I’m guilty of nothing.’

‘You’re a heartless bitch, Kayla Johnson.’ Daniel said, really disgusted.

‘Daniel... I’m warning you.’ As she spoke, out of the corner of her eye she saw someone was standing not far off, overhearing the heated exchange. Frankie, his eyes fixed on her.

Without thinking, Kayla abruptly turned and began walking away but Frankie swiftly caught up with her, grabbing her by the arm. ‘What’s your hurry, Kayla?’ he hissed, spinning her round to face him. Daniel decided not to interfere; whatever Frankie had in mind for her, as long as it wasn’t physical violence, she deserved it.

‘Frankie... let go... no, let go of me!’ Kayla protested as Frankie firmly pushed her into the first empty room he found, slamming the door shut between them.

‘I would never have believed you and the family would be capable of what you did.’

‘Carly only told you her side of the story...’

‘Her side of the story or the whole story! ’ Frankie shouted at her, shaking with anger. Frankie usually was capable of holding his temper but not this time. ‘Didn’t you just confirm it back there just now?’ Kayla turned her eyes away. ‘It’s bad enough you all treated her that way, but to justify your actions and caring nothing about my sister’s pain... how could you?!’

Kayla wrestled her arm off his grip, ‘You should understand...’

‘There’s nothing to understand except that you’re truly a heartless bitch, just like Daniel said. Don’t you even try it!’ he grabbed her hand as she raised it to slap him. Kayla felt angry tears prick her eyelids as he held her wrist in a painful grip.

‘You’re no longer my family.’ He said slowly. ‘You, Caroline and especially that coward; I’ll never forgive every one of you. Ever.’

He freed her, Kayla starring down at the floor as Frankie slammed his way out of the room.

:::::

Jennifer opened the door of the Horton House, her eyes narrowing when she was her visitor was Hope.

‘Hey.’

‘Hey. Come in.’

Hope followed her cousin into the living room, immediately noticing the large baby gift basket on the couch.

‘I was just getting ready to go the hospital to visit Carly and Starr.’

‘Starr?’

‘Yes, Starr Isabella Manning, Hope. Carly and Bo’s daughter.’ Jennifer firmly informed her. ‘And if I were you, I’d let Ciara know that she has a little sister now.’

‘Just like you had Roman tell Shawn D and Chelsea.’

‘They have a right to know. Whatever story you choose to tell Shawn Douglas when he gets here, just make sure you tell him the truth. Otherwise, Melanie will and it won’t be pretty coming from her.’

Hope was silent, looking down at her hands as Jennifer finishing wrapping the box containing Carly’s present. She’d bought her a silk nightgown and matching robe along with a pair of novelty slippers; some accessories she thought Carly might need were in a shopping bag beside Starr’s gift basket.

‘I wish you’d let me tell Shawn D myself, Jen.’

Jennifer paused in the middle of her task to look up at her. ‘Would you have done it objectively? Admit your own mistakes to your son and make him realise it was never Carly’s fault that you and Bo were separated? If you want to be mad at me then be mad at me because I’m done, so is Roman.’

‘What does that mean exactly?’ Hope demanded defensively.

‘It means we’re not protecting you anymore, Hope. I lost my best friend’s love and trust because I sided with you,’ Jennifer said, her voice trembling. ‘Carly was like a sister to me, we were roommates in boarding school; we looked out for each other. And look what I did... what everybody did; blind to your faults when the whole time it was your fault. I don’t even have to tell you all this, Hope!’

‘Alright, I’m to blame!’ Hope shouted back, tears glistening in her eyes. ‘You want me to say it, I’m to blame! But Bo never told me about Carly, everybody made me think Billie was the only other woman while I was gone. Nobody ever told me about the elegant, perfect Dr. Manning! How did you expect me to act when I was caught unawares like that?’

‘Again, you’re making it all about you!’ Jennifer was really exasperated. ‘You moved out with Ciara! That’s it, isn’t it? Carly was more of a threat to you, because I think you realised that Bo wouldn’t have left her for you when you came back years ago.’

‘Stop it,’ Hope said through gritted teeth.

‘You realised you made a mistake moving out the moment you saw her, didn’t you?’ Jennifer pressed. ‘And that was one of the reasons why everybody shunned her, because deep down they knew. I knew! And we all pretended that her past with Bo was less important than his history with you. You caused all your problems and brought a lot of hurt on an innocent woman. You were never the victim, Carly was.’

Both cousins stared at each other, each seething in their thoughts.

‘Fine...’ Hope said at last, the tears finally rolling down her cheeks. ‘Fine, it was my fault. And everything you said... true. And it’s probably hard for you to believe but I felt bad Carly was hurt. I was jealous of her because I knew what she and Bo had while I was gone was very deep; it explained why everyone didn’t want to talk about it when I asked. And it was easier to blame her, it was easier for Bo and I not to talk about her when we got back together.’ She wiped the tears away with the back of her hand. ‘Well, I’m done pretending too. I accept responsibility for everything.’ The reason for her visit was to tell Jennifer about her growing feelings for Aiden but Shawn D’s phone call prevented her from discussing it after all. ‘For what it’s worth...’

‘You should apologise to Carly, not me.’ Jennifer swiftly interrupted.

Hope nodded. ‘Fine.’ She said again. ‘I have to be somewhere, I’ll see you later.’

Jennifer nodded back, watching her cousin as she let herself out of the house. From upstairs, Abby breathed a sigh of relief. ‘Finally.’ She said softly. She couldn’t wait to tell Melanie about this.

:::::::::::

Abby found Melanie and Nicholas at the hospital’s cafeteria while Jennifer went to visit Carly, accompanied by Daniel.

‘Hey Abby, join us.’ Melanie invited. Nicholas got up, pulling back the chair for her. Secretly pleased by his gallant gesture, Abby sat down. ‘What’s happening so far?’ she asked eagerly.

‘I got in touch with an old college friend who is in M16. Since of course Steve Johnson would naturally have an unlisted number and could be anywhere in the world right now, I asked Alistair to help us locate him. Once we locate Johnson, we’ll be able to pass our message to Bo through him- assuming he’s Bo’s contact. And I feel very sure he is. But Alistair’s ready to help us if we’re wrong but that means we’ll have to find out who Bo’s investigating for Alistair to have a lead.’

‘Well, at least thank God something’s being done right now, the sooner we can find Uncle Steve, the better.’

Abby lost no time telling Melanie and Nicholas what happened at the Horton house. Nicholas snorted. ‘a little too late for that woman to see the light, isn’t it?’

‘Whatever,’ Abby replied, ‘But I was glad to hear Mum telling her all that, it was about time Hope heard the truth. And I’m willing to bet the pretending from the rest of the family’s going to stop now.’

Suddenly they heard an announcement over the general loud speaker. Melanie paled when it was repeated; getting up from her seat.

‘What is it?’ Nicholas demanded, getting up also.

‘Code Blue on Mum’s floor... Mum!’ she rushed out of the cafeteria with Abby and Nicholas in hot pursuit. ‘Come on... Come on...’ Nicholas snapped, impatiently pressing the elevator button until the doors opened and he and the girls rushed in. Carly was not in the Recovery room when they got there.