TO MY READERS/VISITORS

RIGHT NOW I'M SICK  SO IT WILL BE SOME TIME BEFORE I UPDATE THIS BLOG, SO PLEASE BEAR WITH ME, THANK YOU

Single ladies put a ring on it... or not for now

Image courtesy of  Salvatore Vuono at freedigitalphotos.net

Where I come from, a single woman past her 30's is considered old and the general whisper behind her back would be, 'what the hell is she still waiting for?' among family members and insensitive friends and acquaintances. Do they bother finding out the real reason? NO; they stick to making stupid assumptions and go along with it- the thought there might be a reason to the lady's prolonged single status, a reason that lies deep in the bone. One general  assumption of the single woman  who lives alone in Nigeria is that she is a slut, an easy, indecent female- so suffice to say; Independent single women shouldn't exist- it is a must that when they leave their parents' house it is straight to their husbands' house. Independent bachelors on the other hand are more acceptable.
 But lets get back  to the reasons why the average Nigerian woman takes a while to settle down; the real reasons that is.


1. After years of being told what to do and always doing what people expect of her and NEVER what she wants suddenly decides she wants her own life for once; doing what she wants, WHEN she wants; the chance to finally achieve her dreams, hopes and aspirations before settling down.

2. She's been a silent observer of marriages of friends and loved ones crashing (adultery, jealousy, third party interference- 3rd one usually the case) in front of her so she is disillusioned and wants no part of it.

3. She's been once bitten, twice shy by several unhappy relationships and finally decides all men are untrustworthy  pigs.

4. She's been over protected and sheltered as a child. When she finally notices men; she continuously feels a sense of terror when a man shows interest in her. She feels cornered the whole time he's talking to her and inwardly wishes he'll go away. Like the bossed around one, she just wants to depend on herself and sees men as menacing intruders and is scared of getting hurt by them, especially if she hasn't seen him angry before.

Even with those reasons, single women passed their 30's are unfairly judged; they are simply expected to conform with society and their families' expectations... marry, bring forth children. From what I've seen, people of this country don't look at nor care about  emotional feelings; why people are the way they are. Call me embittered but it's true- as I am a single woman myself and the general assumption is that my standards are high; I'm looking for the perfect man- so perfect that I would probably have to build him.  No finding out the real reason- just assumptions!!!

"Stand up for what is right even if you stand alone." -Anonymous

Birthday Reflection

Tuesday was my 33rd my birthday; another year on earth. I thought about it all day and I went over the good things in my life. True I can't afford rent, I'm short of money often, I don't have a job at present  and I'm yet to finish my part time course at the University of Lagos; a huge ton of work. But several years ago I was involved in a car accident which killed the driver and I... who sat next to him that day was saved and I was able to celebrate my 21st birthday with my family. Since then, I keep reminding myself I was given another chance by God so I mustn't complain about the stressful times in my life. I'm  alive, my first children's books were published in 2006, I still write and I hope my next book and the books that follow  will be a very huge success. I have my friends and family, even sweet and friendly ones I chat with via Twitter. Today I thanked God for another year on earth and for everything I have achieved since that fateful day in 2000. Life is a precious gift and we must never take it for granted. When there's life; there's hope and with absolute faith in God; one can achieve just about anything and everything. Which I must remember everyday because one of my worse habits is being a serial worrier; which gives me major migraines. 

So I thank God for another birthday; and I pray for many more birthdays so I can serve Him better. He knows more than anyone that I'm not perfect but He's always been there for me. And by His Grace; everything good will come. Amen

“Faith is believing that God is going to take you places before you even get there.”-Matthew Barnett 

Birthday Reflection

Today happens to be my birthday; another year on earth. I thought about it all day and I went over the good things in my life. True I can't afford rent, I'm short of money often, I don't have a job at present  and I'm yet to finish my part time course at the University of Lagos; a huge ton of work. But several years ago I was involved in a car accident which killed the driver and I... who sat next to him that day was saved and I was able to celebrate my 21st birthday with my family. Since then, I keep reminding myself I was given another chance by God so I mustn't complain about the stressful times in my life. I'm  alive, my first children's books were published in 2006, I still write and I hope my next book and the books that follow  will be a very huge success. I have my friends and family, even sweet and friendly ones I chat with via Twitter. Today I thanked God for another year on earth and for everything I have achieved since that fateful day in 2000. Life is a precious gift and we must never take it for granted. When there's life; there's hope and with absolute faith in God; one can achieve just about anything and everything.
So I thank God for another birthday; and I pray for many more birthdays so I can serve him Better. He knows more than anyone that I'm not perfect but He's always been there for me. And by His Grace; everything good will come. Amen

CARBO FAN FICTION- Return Journey: Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Bo found himself unable to work; he couldn't get over what Carly told him. Maybe he was crazy but he found himself unable to believe a word of it. This was the same woman who got married to get over him after he’d pushed her away but never gave herself to her husband. The same woman who refused to let him make love to her at the cabin because she wanted more than a roll in the hay. The same woman who never cheated on him during his two long months of captivity or their separation after their botched wedding.