Monday, July 07, 2014

THE SINGLE WOMAN'S CHOICE




This is actually a sequel of a post I wrote two years ago; this time I'm addressing the single woman's choice and how it's not respected; especially in this country- usually by the woman's family. The annoying lectures, matchmaking and then when everything fails; they would use the woman's age against her by saying she's not getting any younger and doesn't she want children? And if THAT still doesn't work- there is the 'guilt trap' which was sure to make her do what they want her to do if she's not firm and resistant to their subtle brand of persuasion. 
Shouldn't single daughters in a family be allowed to make her choice about when  she wants to get married instead of being lectured about not getting any older and how great marriage is? It's bad enough she's asked annoying questions about her personal life especially if she has nothing to hide but then telling her they want introduce 'a good friend' to her is just downright annoying and plain interfering in her life. 
A woman should not be told or forced to get married; no matter which society she belongs to. But one of the problems of Nigerian society is that children, especially girls, are still regarded as children and their choices and decisions never respected, there always has to be interference!
 Well meaning I'm sure, but it doesn't mean the single daughters are obligated to do what they are told because the rest of the family want her to 'settle down'. I'm not saying a woman shouldn't marry or being anti- matrimony, all I'm saying is that single women should not be pressured about  it. Besides, suppose the woman in question wants to achieve certain goals and want to lead her own life for a bit  (after being bossed and controlled for most of her life) before she 'settles down'  and has babies? If so, then she has the right to her choice and her life and the right to not be hassled by people who insist on being bothered by her single status. 

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