FINDING MY PLACE IN THE WORLD...WHEN EXACTLY?

 

 Everyone keeps saying that we are created to make something of ourselves while on earth. That is something I'm aiming at doing but today I started wondering if I will ever get there. Today, I experienced a feeling I've always hated and hoped will never come about again. A friend asked me to fill in for him teaching his English class as I've been out of work for months. It was an advanced class; not what I am used to but I figured I would be able to do what I can with them. I was appalled when my question, 'What is a preposition?' got only one reply so I  got out a textbook from the elementary level in order to get them back to the basics. I was not trying to be  insulting; I was only trying to help. But it turned out they were playing me for a fool- they DID know the answer the whole time and my friend told me over the phone how they complained about me using 'BRIGHTER GRAMMAR'; which was way below their level, which cast doubts about me being a suitable teacher. I feel so embarrassed and humiliated beyond measure and my confidence completely shattered.

I have been an on-off and on-again English teacher for several years. It was easier teaching the younger ones; not because of the curriculum but because you would command respect from them. Sometimes I was a bit harsh but never deliberately unkind; I love kids. But secondary school kids- High School- are another thing. Junior Secondary, no problem as well but seniors- they do all they can to frustrate you and make you look like a fool and in the end, you wonder how they see you and if teaching is actually your calling after all. 

The last secondary school job I had, I had to deal with sexual harassment and deal with kids who weren't exactly ready to learn and who told tales of me to my boss, work overload ( I was teaching Civic Education as well, which was not my discipline) which got me into trouble as there were times I couldn't cover a particular topic in a week. Toppled with having to go to the University after work- my life was neither happy nor easy. 

The Pre-school job earned me a very lousy pay and no matter what I did, or tried my best , it turned out I wasn't doing enough and I had to leave to deal with my studies. 

Now today, it hit home- I'm a failure as a teacher; no mistake. But until I get my degree and write another book and finally get some independence; I am yet to find my place in the world. Life's not a bed of roses but I never thought there would be times I would feel so low and useless; wondering about the way forward. Even with my published fables and fan fiction on the Internet- I have no confidence, I keep worrying if I've written anything worth while; if I ever will be worthwhile in people's eyes. I've always tried not to get depressed but with today's incident and going over my past experiences; I just can't help the way I feel right now.And when will I find my place in the world at last?

'ONCE UPON A TIME...' ONE OF THE BEST SHOWS OF OUR TIME

'And Snow White was kind and went with him (The Prince) and their wedding was held with with pomp and great splendour'- excerpt from Snow White, Grimm's Fairy Tales

 While this is not my favorite fairy tale, I have read it over and over for many years and watched the various versions. Disney's Snow White & The Seven Dwarfs gave the dwarfs their humorous names; Doc, Bashful, Happy, Sneezy, Sleepy, Grumpy and Dopey and followed the Evil Queen's basic problem with Snow White described by Wilheim & Jakob Grimm - the need to be the fairest in the land and Snow White was robbing her of that glory hence attempting to kill her with a poisoned apple( in the original story her prior weapons included lacing her too tight and a poisoned comb) and Snow White was awaken by true love's first kiss by her prince.

 
 2001's Snow White: The Fairest of Them All; the Evil Queen Elspeth's (who was actually changed from an old crone to her beautiful state) beef with Snow was that Snow was fast becoming a woman and this was making her feel older and the fact that the visiting prince she was trying to seduce was far more interested in Snow White, which aroused her jealousy and fear that she was losing her beauty; so she sends one of her guards to kill Snow White and turned Prince Alfred into a bear when he rebuffed her advances. Snow White meets seven little men named after the days of the week of all things (actually Wednesday is the only tall one and one of the little men is a woman) and the Evil Queen disguises herself as Snow White's dead mother in order to get her to eat the poisoned apple.

In ONCE UPON A TIME; a show I am now hopelessly addicted to(thanks to my favorite twitter friend Jesi's recommendation); the story goes beyond Snow White and her prince's blissful happy ending; for their happy ending was denied to them... by the apparently undefeated Evil Queen; Snow White's stepmother. Although majority of the fairy tale characters we know are featured in the show; the story line's focus is on the vendetta The Evil Queen has against Snow White. Thanks to an innocent blunder on Snow White's part, The Evil Queen's true love was killed right before her eyes, hence was forced to marry a man she didn't love- Snow White's father.The beef here is not jealousy, or insecurity but the Evil Queen's thirst for revenge against Snow and making sure she, her husband James and everyone who sided with Snow White never get the happy ending she and her love  were denied. So, she obtained a curse from the ever dealing Rumplestiltskin which transported everyone to the modern world  with no memories of their prior lives; only the Queen  being aware of her real origins.Conveniently, the Evil Queen rules the town of Storybrook as Mayor Regina Mills and is the mother of an adopted son Henry (the son of Snow and James' daughter Emma who was locked in a magic wardrobe when the curse came to the land) and gets the shock of her life when Henry brought his birth mother to Storybrook, as she is the one who can lift the curse.
I have only watched 9 episodes but really; the creators came up with such a brilliant idea. Although I'm sorry about Regina losing her darling Daniel, I loath the character because I see her as a ruthless, vengeful murderer with no conscience. The episodes that got me upset was the one where she did all she could to squash  the undeniable attraction between Snow and James (Mary Margaret and David in the real world) and killing Sheriff Graham (the huntsman sent to kill Snow White) when he started getting flashes of his past life after kissing Emma. It was bad enough that Regina was using him as a plaything and puppet but then to kill him so cold bloodedly was more than I could bear!
The cause of The Evil Queen's vendetta against Snow White is very interesting;  I suppose the creators wanted to give a plausible reason behind the Queen's hatred for Snow White; even though Snow White did not exactly mean to ruin her life. Two  versions I'd watched long before ONCE UPON A TIME had to do with jealousy and insecurity but one in particular, the 1997 horror version  SNOW WHITE: A TALE OF TERROR  did not; at least the jealousy was not over Snow's beauty.

Set in the time of The Crusades; Snow White's name is actually Lilli; daughter of Lord Fredrick Hoffman and Lady Lilliana(who died giving birth to her via an emergency C- birth). She's resentful of her father's remarriage to another woman years later, Lady Claudia; refusing to make friends with her even though she was given a pup as a present. But don't think Claudia was a complete innocent either; one of the maids mysteriously died after viewing Claudia's magic mirror and for some reason Claudia kept on dressing Lilli in child clothes even when she's a grown young woman. Anyhow, Lilli decided to dress more 'grown up' and found one of her mother's old gowns to wear for the ball. In the gown, Lilli looked exactly like her mother which her father commented on and triggered off Claudia's jealousy... and miscarriage.Claudia is told she can never have any more children and she blames Lilli for her misfortune thus the revenge begins.

ONCE UPON A TIME is a very good show. Although the main focus is Snow White; I like the clever  twists in the story arcs of the other characters and the brilliant performance of Lara Parrilla as Regina the evil queen, Ginnifer Goodwin as Snow and Jennifer Morrison as Emma. How the series will end I don't know but what I do want is a long series run; the finale being the long awaited happy ending for all the characters.

VAMPIRES

Ghosts are one thing, but there are the 'undead' entities known for suckling blood from  unfortunate victims in lieu of food to stay alive and forever doomed to stay out of the sun and roam only at night or they would burst to flames and have the power of transforming into bats.

I think the myth of  vampires evolved from vampire bats' habit of sucking the blood of their prey(mostly mammals but sometimes humans too), their devilish, ugly appearances and the fact that they hunt only when it is fully dark. Like cats, vampire bats are viewed with superstition and some how or the other, vampires found their way into myths and folklore. One early mythical theory was that vampires were corpses possessed or resurrected by an evil spirit. The main myth these days is that a person becomes a vampire after being bitten by one and as they do no not really belong to the earth or the afterlife; they have no souls, they cannot die yet they have eternal life (which disables them from aging any further) and the only that could sustain them is human blood; hence the state of being 'undead'. The only way one is shielded from a vampire, the saying goes, is if a vampire is exposed to garlic, fire or a crucifix.
African and European countries were full of such myths and superstitions and then in 1897, Irish author Bram Stoker began the modern vampire fiction with his most notable work, Dracula; about a Transylvania noble who turned out to be a vampire seeking world domination and over the years many movie adaptations of this story followed and new vampire characters created.
 My first sight of a vampire on television was Count Dracula  portrayed by British actor Christopher Lee (below; at the time I hadn't heard of Bela Lugosi). I was about 7 years old and more squeamish about horror movies than I am now. What I saw at first was CL in a formal suit and cape and slicked back hair, next thing I knew I was screaming at the sight of  his red eyes

and fangs as he sucked blood from his victim's neck. Several years passed before I summoned up courage to watch it in full and buy the actual book!

 Thanks to vampire shows like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, The Vampire Diaries,True Blood; films like Twilight and Fright Night, vampires are pretty much popular in the media today. But is the old superstition there- are they real and hiding in the shadows and do the people who watch such believe they do exist or they are just merely being entertained?
No body wants to die but death is inevitable to all. But would a person terrified of death prefer to have eternal life by taking blood of others  as its soul energy sources  if actually being offered the option- hypothetically speaking ? I sincerely doubt it; for a person to roam the earth for hundreds of years lurking in the shadows and preying on the innocent for blood to live, that sort of eternal life can be nothing but described as a curse and living in damnation.

CARBO FAN FICTION: Return Journey Chapter 21

Chapter 21

Bo and Carly hoped to get married as soon as possible but the dark cloud came in form of a devastating phone call from Abe. Lexie’s mysterious illness, an inoperable brain tumour, had taken a turn for the worse and she wanted to say goodbye to her friends.

CARBO FAN FICTION: Return Journey Chapter 20

 

Chapter 20

‘How are we doing over here, honey?’ Bo asked.

‘I’m almost done, Daddy.’ Ciara replied, setting her books neatly in a box. ‘I hope my room won’t be too crowded with all my stuff.’

2 Superman Tales...

Since I was a child; Jerry Seigel & Joe Shuster's creation Superman has been my favorite superhero; not only because of his abilities but also his origins and this comic hero's tale has gone on for years via comics, graphic novels, movies- the most popular one being the one starring the late and wonderful Christopher Reeve- and T.V series, animated and live action.

Personally I didn't find 2006 Superman Returns  a good version so I was pleased to hear about another one being made MAN OF STEEL starring British actor Henry Cavill as Superman/Clark Kent, Russel Crowe as his biological father and Kevin Costner & Diane Lane as his 'earth parents' Jonathan  and Martha Kent. This film explores how Clark, on hearing the truth about himself after discovering his strange powers, struggles to find his place in the world and come to terms with his three identities- Clark Kent, Kar-lel and Superman. It's a movie I can't wait to watch.

Last year, I watched Superman/Batman: Apocalypse; about how Superman met his cousin Kara Zor-el after her pod crash landed in Gotham. Apparently, she had been sent immediately after him by her parents but her pod drifted through space the whole time Superman was growing up in Smallville so after landing on earth, she was still looking about 16, while her cousin was a fully grown man yet technically younger than she! What I liked about it was the interaction as Supergirl is not always seen in the Superman stories so it was really refreshing seeing the way Clark (obviously overjoyed at finally having a blood relative with him) being so protective and loving towards Kara as he showed and coached her about Earth and going into Apocalypse with Batman  to rescue her after she was kidnapped by Darkseide  and in the end, Kara embraced her

new identity of Supergirl.

Recently, I found out another tale of the two cousins was released last month; Superman:Unbound  where they battle against  the android Brainiac who shrank  and stole the capital of their original planet Krypton and and has now done the same thing to Metropolis. Making Superman and Supergirl  interact and join forces

as  well as Supergirl emotionally bonding with Lois Lane is beyond wonderful; also Superman finally got to meet his uncle Zor-el and his aunt Alura. Another must watch.

After MAN OF STEEL, I hope Superman fans will be treated to a live action film featuring Superman and Supergirl; the only Supergirl live-action back in  1984 starring Helen Slater was a HUGE disappointment- mostly because of the poor storyline and the absence of Superman. I applaud Supergirl's creation because, while it removes Superman's title of 'The last Kryptonian' - at least he no longer has the deep down unhappy thought that he is alone. With Supergirl, he has a link to his past and can relate to her, even though they have differences of opinions- almost the same way he has with Batman- but he and Supergirl have a closer relationship than he has with the Dark Knight.
So, these are my current recommendations and please let me know your opinions afterwards! See trailers below:



 :::::::::::::::::::::::::

CARBO FAN FICTION: Return Journey Chapter 19

 Chapter 19

After dressing Byron, Carly packed her overnight case, reliving the events of the previous night. Aside from the emotional speech she’d given before they succumbed to blinding passion, there had been no talking at all.