CARBO FAN FICTION-Déjà Vu CHAPTER 11

Bo locked up for the night but didn't go to bed immediately. Instead he pulled out one of the photo albums from the cabinet and sat on the couch. Each flip of a page a life time of memories; he and Hope, the children, the extended family of Bradys and Hortons. He paused at the photo of him and Hope on their first wedding in 1985, which had taken place in England. He remembered that day like it was yesterday; Hope walking down the aisle on her grandfather’s arm so beautiful in her white lace and satin wedding dress with long tight sleeves, her elegant veil hiding her happy face. He had been so happy too; his Fancy Face belonged to him for the whole world to see at long last. As he stared at the photograph, he remembered another bride; a beautiful bride in a native Mayan wedding huipil, her hair decorated with flowers as they pledged their love for each other on the top of El Castillo in México, 1991.The same bride wore a white, off shoulder dress with a lace collar for their church wedding in Salem; a simple lace veil over her head, grinning at him as she walked along the aisle, every inch a princess. He’d felt like the luckiest man in the world as he grasped her hand at the altar, their eyes fixed on each other. His princess, his beautiful Carly. 

‘Bo, I understand you have a few words to say to Carly.’

He had more than a few words to say to the woman he loved so much; who in a few seconds will finally be called Mrs. Carly Brady, his wife. They faced each other, her lovely face looking at him through the veil.

‘The way I feel about you can fill volumes,’ He began softly. ‘But instead I picked a few choice phrases. One is a gift from heaven... which I’m eternally grateful for.’ Carly blinked, her lips trembling as she struggled not to cry; her fingers tightly holding on to his.

 ‘Second... is the love of my life. Sometimes I find it hard to believe I have you in my life. Right now when I look at you... at that face, that glow around you, that smile... and you’re looking at me, loving me... and you’re finally marrying me. I promise to do everything in my power to make sure you are happy. I will always treat you with respect; as a partner and as a friend.’

‘My heart is so full right now,’ Carly said emotionally. ‘When you said what you just said about me, I thought... can I love you any more completely than I do right now. I’m going to have the rest of my life to find that out. You’re my great love, Bo...’ 

And Lawrence had ruined everything... he and that evil bitch Vivian. 
Bo slammed the album shut; angry and confused. First he’d been thinking about his wife, longing for her then his mind had shifted to Carly. All the years she was gone he’d locked away his memories of her, now they were just pouring out one by one since she returned. It’s because she wasn't happy all those years like I thought, he told himself; I feel guilty for letting her go... for having a life with Hope while she was all alone. But Hope too lived as someone else the whole time he’d been happy with Carly and later Billie; which further reminded him that he wouldn't have left Carly for Hope. Or would he have? With the way he felt now, Bo wasn't sure about anything anymore. Putting the album aside, he reached for the blanket draped over the couch, pressing it to his face. It belonged to Hope, countless nights he’d draped it over her shoulders when she felt chilly; snuggling with her on this very couch. Now it seemed so long ago... he had no idea where she was, or what was going to happen when she came back. That and what she was going to say when he told her about Carly, which she didn't give him the chance to do and he wasn't going to tell her such a thing over the phone. He’ll just have to bid his time. Like he told Carly; he and Hope have been through worse. Even when they much younger, they had a lot of battles... Doug’s disapproval of him, Hope’s reluctance to oppose her father after his illness, Larry Welch; the husband chosen for her, their fights before her ‘death.’ He’d missed her terribly, wanting to die but their little Shawn D had kept him going... then later Carly. Try as he might, he couldn't stop thinking about her.

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Bo Brady was unlike any man Clarice’s ever known in her life, hence why she couldn't help but fall in love with him. But all the same she was filled with dismay and horror; after several years of being alone, going on missions and dodging bullets- she now had feelings for a married man, a married man with children. Nothing could come out of it, she saw the look of sadness in his eyes when he told her how Hope walked out of their home with Ciara. When Hope eventually came back, she and Bo will settle things and be happy again. She wished she hadn’t agreed to stay with Caroline now but it was too late to say no and it would be a while before she fully recovered enough to go back to New York. Keeping valuable secrets from the enemy was child’s play compared to having to keep her feelings to herself while she was still in Salem. And she had to; she wasn't going to break up Bo’s marriage or his happiness for anything. Clarice briefly mulled over her predicament before drifting to a deep, troubled sleep. An image flashed in her mind and her head shifted restlessly on the pillows, willing it to appear again and it did, followed by a few more; all hazy.

Candles...A lighted room... Two entwined bodies on a bed...

She frowned in her delirium, trying to hold on to the image as it faded then came back like a dim lamp brightening but only just.

A face, hers but she looked younger... she was in a man’s arms... he was kissing her neck...Clarice’s mind struggled to see his face but couldn't. Something was on his back... a tattoo... too hazy to see what it was... what was it of? Brighten damn it!

‘Agent Parker? Agent Parker...’

Clarice jerked awake, her head hurting painfully and her face and neck drenched with sweat. Standing over her was Dr. Carver looking anxious, a nurse at her elbow. ‘Are you alright?’

Clarice blinked, swallowing. ‘What happened?’ she croaked.

‘The monitor went out of control; seems your heart rate shot up for some reason. Were you having a nightmare?’ Lexie asked as the nurse patted Clarice’s face dry with a sterile cloth.

 Clarice moaned, closing her eyes. ‘I have a headache.’ She mumbled.

Lexie placed a cool hand on her forehead. ‘Mmm... you’re burning up. We’ll give you something for that.’ Instructing the nurse to get the necessary medication, she checked Clarice’s pulse. ‘Was it a nightmare, Clarice?’ The name weighed heavily in Lexie’s mouth; it was so hard to see Carly as a totally different person, no memory of her family, friends or past life. She’d cried when Abe told her about Lawrence’s abuse after the surgery, cursing him with all her might. A lot of time may have passed but Carly was still a person she remembered with fondness.

‘Nightmare?’ Clarice tried to recall what she saw in her dream but her head was aching too much. The nurse returned with the pills and Clarice took them, along with a long draught of water for her parched throat. ‘Thanks, doctor.’

‘Call me Lexie, please.’ Lexie signalled the nurse to leave the room.

‘Lexie?’

‘It’s short for Alexandra.’ Lexie sank into the chair beside her. ‘I’m Abe Carver’s wife by the way.’

‘Oh...’ Clarice peered at her. ‘With the name, I should’ve made the connection.’

‘It was a very brave thing you did.’

 ‘I’m not exactly Power Girl.’ Clarice murmured.

Lexie chuckled. ‘You know, I was once a police officer myself.’

‘Really?’

‘Uh huh... then I went back to school and years later...’ Lexie spread her hands. Actually she was kicked off the force for deliberately not turning in the vigilante known as ‘The Pacifier’; who in reality was Abe’s younger brother, Jonah. Now she was the one wearing the stethoscope and white coat while Carly was the one carrying a gun. Abe told her in confidence that Carly was in the ISA; which shocked her more than the amnesia but pledged to do her own bit at helping her with her memory. Although she also wondered how Hope will react once she found out Carly was Bo’s ex; probably she would be more furious everyone hid the truth from her than having another ex around Bo, she’d resented Billie Reed and Billie had given her more than enough reason to hate her through her efforts to ruin their marriage. With the way Hope was currently acting like a child, Bo might just start leaning towards Carly and though Hope was her best friend, Lexie wouldn't blame him. But for her sake, she hoped that won’t happen.

‘Well... we choose a path, and then life leads us to another.’ Carly said. 

‘Absolutely. And I’m happy with mine. I have a family and I help the sick...’ Lexie felt ashamed at the wry look on Clarice’s pale face. ‘I’m so sorry; I didn't mean to make you feel bad.’

‘That’s okay... Lexie.’ Clarice shrugged. ‘I’ve never killed anyone who wasn’t trying to kill me. I got into law enforcement because... I had this nagging need to protect people.’

Just like Bo, Lexie thought. On the inside, Clarice Parker was still Carly Manning ... Bo’s spiritual half which Billie never was though Bo had loved her. But so is Hope! She argued in defence of her friend. She and Bo had had problems over the years but caused by third-party interference and most married couples fought; that wasn't unusual. Bo and Carly never fought until that spoilt brat of hers came between them and Bo ended up losing her to him and Lawrence Alamain.

‘I understand... that was Abe’s motivation too; even though he’s Mayor, he still tries to be as active as he was when he was still a cop. Bo and Roman do most of the work.’ she chuckled.

Clarice forced herself not to talk about Bo, she might give herself away. Instead she shifted in bed and replied, ‘My head feels a little better now.’

‘Happy to hear that.’ Lexie touched her temple. ‘But you didn't answer my question, were you dreaming?’

A candle lit room... a tattoo... Clarice somehow didn't feel like sharing such a dream with anyone. ‘I guess so, but I don't remember what it was.’ She lied.

Lexie nodded, disappointed. ‘Well, if you need anything just press the buzzer right here and a nurse will see to you, okay?’ she got up.

‘Thank you, Lexie. I hope we’ll be good friends while I’m here.’

 ‘We already are, Clarice.’ Lexie assured her, smiling. ‘Go to sleep now.’ For her sake, she hoped Carly will get her life back, without ruining Hope’s.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::

‘Here... give me that.’ Bo took the suitcase from Carly and slipped his arm round her waist to steady her as they went up the path to the house.

‘Bo, I can walk perfectly well by myself.’ She protested, inwardly revelling in his touch and being close to him. She wondered if he could feel her heart racing. Bo wondered if Carly could feel his heart pounding or his hand going clammy. The feel of the familiar soft skin under her clothes was invoking more locked away memories... the two of them dancing under the stars on Isabella’s roof, México- entwined on the sand, laying her down on the pool table...

He kept a tighter hold of her as he forced the images away. A fine dude you are, he told himself sternly. You’re married to one woman and getting the hots for another; the whole objective is to help her and you’re losing it by mentally picturing her naked! He couldn't let his emotions get in the way of what he vowed to do for her; it would only complicate things for the two of them. Since her time at the hospital, he found himself wanting to kiss her  whenever he came to visit, which appalled him. His mind would immediately revert to Hope, who was yet to come home with Ciara; reminding himself how important Hope and their marriage was to him. No way could he ever get romantically involved with Carly, no matter how much she affected him and  she definitely was affecting him; sexually. He really needed Hope to come home before he made a fool of himself.

Caroline opened the door, smiling. ‘Here you are at last, Clarice. Give me the case, Bo.’ She took it from him and made way for them to enter.

‘Thanks again for doing this, Mrs. Brady.’ Clarice said as they followed Caroline upstairs.

‘Nonsense... you don't have to thank me dear, I’m more than happy to have you here. I couldn't let you stay in a lonely hotel room while you’re recovering from your injuries, could I? And...’ she turned to look at her sternly, ‘It’s Caroline, alright?’

Clarice nodded, sharing an amused glance with Bo. Caroline opened the bedroom door. ‘This is Bo’s old room... I hope you’ll be comfortable here.’

‘I’m sure I will, it’s lovely.’

‘It wasn't like this when Bo lived here; rock stars’ and  half naked models’ posters all over the walls, his clothes, sneakers and magazines everywhere...’

‘Yeah, thanks ma.’ Bo interrupted swiftly, glaring at her as Clarice laughed. ‘I wasn't as bad as you just painted.’

‘No son... you were much worse.’ Caroline retorted. Turning to Clarice she continued, ‘I guess you’ll want to rest until lunch time; I can bring a tray up to you.’

‘No...’

‘Yes. You’re a guest, so no arguments.’ Patting her cheek, she left them alone.

‘You have a wonderful Mum there.’ Clarice said, sitting on the bed.

Bo grinned, shrugging. ‘With us kids and grandkids all grown up and married... I guess Mum misses out having someone to fuss over and boss around. And she could certainly use the company too. You’ll love it here.’

‘I already do. By the way... you’ve been holding out on me, Bo.’

He raised one eyebrow as he sat on a chair opposite her. ‘Oh, how so?’

She shook her head at him. ‘Director Shaw came to see me yesterday. Apparently, I’m on loan for a while. When were you going to tell me you and Roman and Abe approached the agency requesting my profiler services?’

‘Oh man... I’m sorry; I wasn't trying to hide that from you. I was going to tell you soon as we got  a definite answer from your superiors. With you injured, it didn't seem like the right time. You aren’t angry, are you?’

She wasn't angry, just distressed at the idea of being around Bo longer than she thought. She was planning on heading home soon as she was fully recovered, taking her secret with her... her love for Bo. ‘I’m just surprised... I wasn't expecting it. ’

‘You did a very great job cracking the case, Clarice. Roman, Abe and I decided we needed you to stay longer to help us; we’ve never had a profiler as good as you. Of course, no one else will know you’re ISA; as far as our men are concerned, you’re on loan from the FBI.’

Clarice nodded. ‘That’s how it should be. Anyway... you should know that  Shaw said you guys have me for a year but I still might get called in for a mission during  my stay with you.’

Going on missions while she was assigned to Salem P.D wasn't exactly what Bo bargained for; the last thing he wanted was any progress she might make dashed to pieces. But having her for a year was a major victory all the  same; more than enough time to gain her memory back. Of course there was also the need to keep his hands off her the whole time too. Even with no makeup she looked so pretty and desirable and he found himself again longing to plant his mouth on hers, stroke her hair and hold her in his arms...the intensity of his feelings stunned him.

‘You’re doing it again.’ she said suddenly.

‘What?’

‘Looking at me in that weird way; you’ve been doing that since we met. Why?’

‘I’m sorry... I didn't mean to freak you out.’ Bo assured her hastily. ‘It’s just... well you look like somebody I knew a long time ago. She had eyes just like yours.’

‘You mean the woman you mistook me for, Carly?’

He nodded, watching her carefully.

‘Oh... I was meaning to ask you about that. Who was she?’

Grateful for the sudden opening Bo replied, ‘She was a doctor; Shawn D’s actually- she nursed him after an accident he had. He got very attached to her; we all did.’

‘What happened to her?’

‘She got married and moved away... we haven’t heard from her since then.’ Somehow Clarice got the feeling there was more to it than that, he was hiding something from her from the way his face clouded and the bitterness in his voice. Had Carly been his lover? He didn't seem the cheating type and Hope didn't mistake her for Carly like he and mother did. She couldn't put her finger in it just yet but she will find out what was really going on, who this woman had really been to him.

‘So...’ she said, deciding to change the subject. ‘When am I to start my temporary position?’

‘As soon as you’re really back on your feet, no rush.’ Disappointed he  hadn’t gotten through to her just a little, Bo got up. Taking her hand, he pressed it between his. ‘I know we’re going to enjoy working together.’

‘Me too.’ was the soft reply. Their eyes met, both finding it difficult to look away.

CARBO FAN FICTION-Déjà Vu CHAPTER 10

The Director of the ISA, Salem branch- Tristan Shaw- granted Abe, Bo and Roman an audience and got the full report of what happened in writing after sending two agents to visit Clarice at the hospital. The three men had agreed not to let Tristan know about Clarice’s amnesia or that she and Bo a couple a long time ago; if they wanted their request to be granted. Tristan promised to let them know the final decision soon; New York needed to be contacted as well as the Head Office in D.C.

‘I want Carly to stay with me when she leaves the hospital; a hotel room is no place to recuperate. Maybe the whole period will help her with her memory.’ Caroline said, as she poured more coffee in Bo’s cup.

‘I hope so too, Ma.’ Bo agreed, the picture of Carly bleeding in his arms still fresh in his mind. The whole episode was still on Ciara’s mind as well, since that fateful day she’d been having nightmares so he and Hope decided to have her see a therapist. She also been overly anxious about Clarice but she was yet to be allowed to visit her. ‘But remember what we all agreed on...’

‘I do remember, we’ll all be careful of what we say around her; Victor especially.’ 
‘I’m sure glad Mrs. H knocked some sense in that hard head of his, he sure as hell didn't want to listen to me.’ Bo, Roman and Abe had told Victor everything about Carly except for her status as an ISA agent; letting him still believe she was with the FBI. Victor reluctantly accepted that Carly was truly suffering from amnesia but still insisted on Hope knowing about her and Bo. Alice, after complaints from Bo, had summoned Victor to her house and given him a stern talking to.

‘Well, Alice always knows how to handle him; Tom too had the knack when he was alive, God rest him.’ Caroline sat opposite Bo. ‘So, if the ISA allows Carly to stay on to act as a profiler for Salem P.D for a while; you are going to give her desk job?’

‘Absolutely. But so that she won’t get suspicious she’ll be in the field, just not too often. I’ll do all I can to see she doesn't get close to danger.’

‘Please do that, son.’ Caroline urged. ‘The memory loss is bad enough. Lord knows what I’ve gone through all these years having two sons and a daughter-in-law in the police force; now your ex- fiancée’s in the ISA... a place she has no business to be. I’ve had a very hard time imagining a brilliant surgeon like Carly carrying a gun, ever since you told us. I never even approved of Hope joining the force in the first place.’

‘I know Ma and it’s the main reason why I’m helping Carly get her memory back; I believe she’ll get it eventually. If it could happen for Steve, it’s going to work for Carly.’

‘But you do know you’ll have to tell Hope about Carly some time.’

‘I know that too. I just don't know how I’ll be able to do that without worrying about Hope getting all paranoid and insecure. And I don't want her ruining anything by upsetting Carly; with the way she’s been acting with me lately she might think she’s Billie all over again, another threat to our marriage. ’

‘Hope won’t think that, not with Carly’s present condition and the fact that Carly never planned on coming back here before her memory loss, for fear of Lawrence finding her and possibly hurting you; he hated you with a vengeance. Carly wouldn't put you or the family in danger for anything or ruin your marriage.’ Roman had told their mother what Shane told them and Bo had finally narrated the last conversation he’d had with Carly on the boat. Caroline had tearfully sympathised but refused to allow her son blame himself for what happened to Carly. In her opinion, Bo and Carly were simply victims of unfortunate circumstances, circumstances brought about by Lawrence and Vivian. ‘Carly was, is a wonderful woman, no shred of vice or deviousness in her and I trust Hope will be mature enough to realise that. Besides, a lot of things have changed since you and Carly said goodbye, you’ve led separate lives for over sixteen years. There’s nothing for Hope to be worried about since you’re helping an old friend.’

Old friends were childhood, high school and college buddies; Carly had been his lover but Bo hoped his mother was right. Hope had the tendency to be unpredictable and impulsive; there was no telling how she would react to the truth about Carly. He wanted to protect Carly but he also wanted to save his marriage and for a marriage to thrive there couldn't be any secrets between him and his wife. And maybe once he and Hope reconnected, he’ll be able to shrug off the powerful feelings that have been disturbing him since Carly’s return; feelings he didn’t understand, want or need. He loved Hope, always would and Carly was the past, even though he did still care about her. The reason why he was getting her assigned to Salem P.D for some time was simply to help her, nothing else.

‘Hope will understand, Ma. In fact,’ suddenly making a decision. ‘I’m going to tell her tonight... get everything out in the open.’

Caroline looked surprised. ‘You’re sure you want to tell her now?’

‘I think it’s best she knows now, I don't want secrets between us. Once she knows the whole story and what Carly went through with Lawrence, Hope will probably give her some support too. Besides, she knows how much I love her.’

His mother shrugged. ‘But in case Hope needs convincing, you let me know. And when you visit Carly, tell her about my offer.’

‘I will. And remember, her name’s Clarice.’

Caroline sighed, shaking her head. ‘If only...’

‘What?’ asked Bo, puzzled at the expression on his mother’s face.

Caroline hesitated, wondering if it was wise to tell him, then decided to. ‘I never told you this but... years ago, at Carly’s wedding shower at Jennifer and Jack’s house; after I assured her she will give you a child eventually despite what Dr. Alvarez said... we talked a little about baby names. I asked her what she would name your son, she said Jeremy Shawn. When I asked her what she would name the baby if it was a girl she said...’

‘Clarice.’ Bo guessed in a quiet voice. So Carly had been thinking of him and their broken dreams when she chose that name for her new identity; naming herself  after the daughter they never had. And the whole time ready to face a future in New York without him, content to raise Nicky alone and not even tell him.

Caroline nodded, wincing at the sad, reflective look on her son’s face.

:::::::::::::::::::

‘Daddy, Daddy!’ Ciara ran to him as he closed the front door behind him. Bo lifted her up in his arms, kissing her. ‘How’s my little girl today? Did you get along great at the therapist’s?’

Ciara nodded, her bright little face sobering. ‘Daddy, why won’t you and Mummy let me see Clarice? I really want to.’

‘I know you do honey but Clarice was badly hurt; she needs lots of rest. But I told her you want to visit, she’s been thinking of you a lot too. And I gave her the drawing you made for her, she told me she was going to frame it and hang it up.’

‘Yay!’ Ciara squealed as Hope came downstairs.

‘There you are Fancy face... I really need to talk to you about something important.’ Bo said, setting the child down. The sooner he got it over with, the better.

Hope however didn’t look curious or interested by her husband’s statement; instead she took Ciara by the hand. ‘Go put on your jacket like I told you, Ciara.’

‘Okay.’ Ciara ran up the stairs. Bo stared after her then at his wife in askance. ‘You guys going out?’

Hope looked back at him steadily, her expression intractable and determined.

‘You could say that. We’re taking a trip out of town for a while.’

Bo narrowed his eyes. ‘And when were you going to tell me this? You didn’t even give me any warning...’

‘That’s because you aren’t coming with us. It’s best that Ciara and I go alone.’

Bo couldn't believe what he was hearing. ‘Says who? Why the hell are you going away in the first place, and without me?’ he barked.

‘Lower your voice, will you?’ Hope hissed angrily, glaring at him. ‘I should think you’ve done more than enough to our daughter without getting her scared all over again.’

‘What is that supposed to mean, I’ve done more than enough? What’s this about?’ he glared back, unable to keep his voice down as ordered.

‘You Brady, gambled with our daughter’s life!’ Hope spat. ‘You didn't let me pay the ransom, that’s why Dean almost killed us and almost killed Clarice! Ciara actually saw  her shot right here in her own home- if you hadn’t been so pigheaded, he would’ve been long gone  and Ciara wouldn't be plagued by nightmares! I can’t let her stay here for one more day so we’re leaving.’

‘And I’m supposed to let you walk out with my daughter, just like that?’

‘You don't have much of a choice, do you? You brought all this about, you. Not only did you mishandle the whole chase, you refused to admit you messed up. So don't you even try to stop me.’

Bo grabbed her roughly by the arm as she made to walk past him, enraged beyond measure. ‘ Like hell I won’t stop you! How dare you say such a thing to me! How dare you just decide to take Ciara without discussing it with me- I’m your husband!’

‘Husband?’ Hope scoffed coldly, struggling free from his grip. ‘What sort of husband would do what you did or a father for that matter?’

‘What sort of wife would leave her home when things get rough, who won’t let her husband help her?’ Bo fired back. ‘You’re doing it all over again, I thought you were  done with that!’

‘I suggest you look in the mirror and figure out why I had to! Good luck with that, we are leaving, case closed!’

Ciara came down, her backpack in one hand, her teddy bear in the other. Hope gave him a warning glance before turning to Ciara. ‘All set, sweetie?’

‘Yes.’ Ciara looked at Bo. ‘Are you coming later, Daddy?’

Bo looked at the woman he loved, searching for some sign of softness on her face but found none. How could this be happening to them after over twenty years of marriage; after the joys and sorrows they’ve faced together? Only sheer force of will made him pick up his little girl instead of grabbing Hope and shake some sense into her.

‘No little one, you and Mummy need some time alone; I have to stay here and take care of things. You go and have fun for the two of us, okay?’

Ciara looked disappointed but nodded, kissing him on the cheek. ‘Okay. I love you Daddy.’

Bo blinked back sudden tears as he held her tightly in his arms, kissing her back. ‘I love you too, sweetie. You and Mummy take care now. I’ll call you.’

Hope slipped on her own jacket and picked up the bags behind the couch, without looking at Bo. No hug, no kiss goodbye; completely shutting him out. Silently, Bo watched his family leave; his heart ripped to shreds.

:::::::::::::::::::

Bo opened Carly’s door silently. She was asleep, the monitor beeping. After sitting alone  staring at nothing; he felt he had to get out of  the oppressively quiet house and seek some company. No one knew of what went on with Hope yet; he didn't feel like telling anybody and listen to sympathies or lectures, he was far too heart sore. After Ciara’s birth, he thought he and Hope were past the pain and mistakes over the years; they’d even renewed their vows as a symbol of a new chapter of their love. How wrong he was.

Placing the flowers on the  blanket he sat beside Carly, watching  her thoughtfully.  Three years, short compared to twenty five years with Hope but they had been wonderful years. He never wanted to love Carly initially; out of guilt and grief over Hope’s supposed death and the agonising fear of losing Carly too. But every day of knowing Carly and spending time with her, she’d crept further and further in his heart. Carly never backed out when things got rough, she faced them with him- shared them with him. Before they were even a couple she did her best to keep him out of trouble and acted as his voice of reason, whether he liked it or not. Stubborn, pigheaded, loyal Carly...

‘This is none of your business!’

‘It is my business,’ was Carly’s calm reply.

‘Yeah why?’ he asked, really angry at her assumption that she had the right to watch his every move.

‘Because... Because I care about you.’ she said hesitantly.

‘Oh...And that’s supposed to be  enough reason to get yourself into trouble?’

‘Why is that hard to believe Bo?’ she demanded. ‘Don't tell me you haven’t done the same.’

She had a point and it infuriated him the more. ‘Alright, maybe I have...’

‘Then why won’t you let me help you?’ she cut in, grabbing his arm as he walked past her. ‘Why?’

‘Because, I care about you!’ he snapped back. The stunned look on her face made him realise he’d finally admitted what he’d been holding back for so long. It was the truth and it frightened him. He didn't want to fall in love with this beautiful girl, another had died because of him. He couldn't lose Carly too.

He took her hand, squeezing it between his. ‘I care about you. And I don't want you hanging around me when I’m doing things like this.’ Abruptly, he dropped it and turned away from her.

‘You’re asking too much from me.’

‘I’m not asking...’

‘I CAN’T LEAVE YOU.’ she said resolutely, ‘not after everything we’ve been through; we’ve come too far for me to leave you now!’

Bo wanted to scream in frustration at her stubbornness. ‘You know, this is exactly what I didn't want to happen! I didn't want you hanging around me and becoming attached to me.’ Even when she wasn't around, he couldn’t get her out his mind and it didn't help that Shawn Douglas talked about her a lot.

‘Maybe you’re afraid of getting too attached to me.’ she said quietly.

She was a very good mind reader and she’d said it with no trace of conceit or triumph. ‘Well maybe,’ he said gruffly, ‘but that doesn't matter...’

‘It does matter, it matters a lot,’ she insisted.

‘Why? So that I can get involved with you, get you killed too?’

Carly stood there silently for a while, probably fumbling for the right words. He wished she would leave, he was having a very strong urge to kiss her... and more.

‘Bo, you don't have to worry about me, okay; I can take  care of myself.’

‘I’ve heard that before.’ He muttered bitterly.

‘Look at me,’ she said softly. He felt her fingers touching his hair and he tensed, struggling to control himself. ‘Look at me.’ Reluctantly he obeyed, looking deep into the beautiful emerald-green eyes looking solemnly up at him.

‘I’m not Hope.’ She said, her expression firm yet serene, not breaking her gaze. He stared back her, his heart thumping. Whether he wanted to admit it or not, Carly Manning had definitely gotten to him.

‘No...’ he said quietly, reaching out to hold her face between his palms. ‘No, you’re not.’ 

Bo pushed back strands of hair from Carly’s pale forehead. If there was any woman who’d truly been there for him, it was the woman lying  right there. As he thought over Hope’s words to him he tried imaging Carly standing there in Hope’s stead, saying them to him and couldn't. Because Carly would never say them in a million years, much less think them. Caroline or Roman would probably regard him as disloyal for comparing his wife with his ex but Bo couldn't help it right now. Hope’s sudden action deeply hurt him and he needed some sort of comfort. Moving his hand down to stroke Carly’s cheek, he went over that same night so long ago...

‘Do you have any idea what that means?’ he said sceptically. Nick Corelli’s death was his own responsibility, his burden; no way was he going to implicate Carly.

‘Yes. And I’m willing to do what it takes to see you through this.’

 He was touched by her sincerity, her loyalty. ‘You mean that don't you?’ he said slowly. She nodded, eyes not leaving his face.

‘I never thought I would have anybody... anything like this again in my life.’

‘Well, you do.’ Carly said quietly, touching his face and he didn't pull away, not wanting to. Before he knew it she was in his arms, his cheek pressed against her hair...

Carly’s eyes suddenly opened, peering at him. ‘Bo...’ she said softly. ‘Hello.’

‘Hi... how are you today?’ he smiled. ‘Look, I got you these.’ He placed the bouquet of roses in her hands.

‘Oh, thank you... they are beautiful. Hope came by today... did she tell you?’

Bo turned his eyes away, filled with bitterness at the mention of his wife’s name.

‘Bo...what’s wrong?’ Carly asked anxiously.

‘Nothing’s wrong. It’s just...’ he suddenly felt the need to confide in her, to see her reaction. He turned back to look at her. ‘Hope left with Ciara today. She felt Ciara needed to be in a new environment, after everything that went down at the house.’

‘Of course... but why aren’t you with them?’

Bo sighed then narrated what Hope had said, everything she’d accused him of. He didn't feel treacherous towards his wife as he did so, he needed to vent out his pain and anger and who else but Carly could actually listen and not judge him.

‘That’s crazy...’ Carly said at last. ‘You aren’t to blame for anything. Why on earth...?’

‘I keep going over what I did wrong Clarice and I can’t come up with anything. Even my cousin and my own father think I handled everything  wrong. I didn't think Hope would carry things this far... not wanting me around my daughter.’

‘Hope was upset. I like to think that she didn't mean what she said to you. And you... give her time. When she comes back, the first thing she’ll want to do is kiss and make up. Time heals... so does love. You shouldn’t believe she meant it... okay?’

Bo took her hand. ‘Thank you, Clarice.’

‘Family is precious... remember?’

‘They are. And sure, I’ll take your advice, give her some time. We’ve gone through worse, anyhow.’

‘Oh?’

‘Yeah. Some years ago...’ the old pain creeping in but he continued, ‘we lost our son Zack in a car accident. He was barely five.’

‘Oh God... I’m so sorry, I didn't know.’ Carly whispered. ‘How did you both get through it?’

‘It wasn't easy; not easy at all.’ It certainly wasn’t, considering who had run over Zack in the first place; his daughter from Billie, Chelsea. It was after Ciara’s birth that Hope had finally forgiven her, and him for that matter.

‘Well if you two could get over such heartache... this one is minor compared to that. Everything will turn out okay, you’ll see.’

Bo  squeezed her hand, smiling warmly at her; the weight on his shoulders lifted by her words.

‘By the way, my mother wants you to stay with her when you get out of here.’

‘That’s very sweet of her... but I can’t possibly impose like that.’ Carly objected.

‘You won’t be imposing, she really wants to look after you and you can’t go to New York right after you’re discharged. Besides, Hope’s grandmother- Alice Horton- wants to get to know you better. She keeps asking about you.’

‘Really?’

‘Really. She’s a wonderful woman; her late husband was Chief of Staff of this very hospital.’  He watched her carefully as he added, ‘Dr. Thomas Horton.’

To his  great disappointment, no sign of recognition on her face. ‘Well... I guess I have to accept... your mother’s hospitality and meet Mrs. Horton if she wants me to. Okay, sure.’

‘Great.’

‘Tell me more about your family... do you have another child... besides Ciara?’

‘My first son, Shawn Douglas. He’s married with a daughter of his own; they live in Chicago.’ He made a mental note to inform Shawn D about Carly as soon as he could, he totally forgot  in all the excitement of the past week.

‘Shawn Douglas... that’s a very nice name.’

Bo found himself hating Lawrence more and more. Shawn D had been like a son to her long before Nicky surfaced; she didn't remember him either! He needed to contact Marlena too; she might just be the one to get through to Carly better.

‘He was named after his two grandfathers.’ He explained.

‘And you are one yourself...’ Carly smiled faintly, a teasing twinkle in her eyes. ‘A very young one though.’

Bo chuckled quietly. ‘ I get that a lot. I hope you get to meet him.’

‘I hope so too. Depends on how long I’m still here.’ 

This is your home, Bo thought, holding on to her hand firmly. ‘You live in the city?’ he asked.

Carly nodded. She was feeling tired from all the talking but she didn't want Bo to leave her. Summoning strength she continued, ‘I also have a lake house; in Connecticut. I stay there on weekends... or when I have some time off. I told Roman about it.’

‘You don't have a boyfriend?’ Bo asked, steeling himself for her answer; the idea of a man in her life strangely bothering him.

Carly smiled. ‘I’m in the ISA. Where will I have the time? I’m your average loner. No family; no ties.’

As soon as she got her memory back, she would know how wrong she was; Frankie, Nicky and the Bradys who still thought of her as one of them.

‘Well, you do have ties Clarice; you made a lot of friends overnight. People who appreciate and admire you for what you did; including me.’ Letting go of her hand, he touched her cheek. ‘I’m more than honoured to have you as a friend; I want you to know that.’

Carly looked up at him, mesmerized by the warm brown eyes; a huge comprehension hitting her with full force. I’m in love with this wonderful man, she thought with pain. And I can never have a future with him.