CARBO FAN FICTION- CARLY'S DIARY PART 1






Premise:

With Melanie, Frankie and Nicholas’ love and support, Carly managed to move on with her life; especially after she discovered she was pregnant. But in the later stages, Carly kept feeling ill and sleepless night thinking of Bo didn’t help as he’d left Salem for parts unknown four months after their breakup.


Melanie let herself in Carly’s house, closing the door behind her. ‘Mum?’ she called, walking into the kitchen to put down the groceries she’d brought for Carly, hoping she’ll be able to persuade her to eat more. Carly’s appetite has been rather poor lately, which worried her. Her obstetrician had given her some multivitamins but Carly’s eating was yet to improve.
‘Mum?’ Melanie called out again, going upstairs and entered Carly’s room. ‘Oh my God!’ she screamed, rushing to her mother. ‘Mum, Mum?!’ Carly was sprawled across the bed, as though she got up and then fell back in a faint. Her face was sweaty and as pale as death, her lips bluish.
After checking for a pulse, Melanie pulled out her cell and with shaking fingers called for an ambulance.
‘Don’t worry, Mum...’ Melanie sniffled, kissing Carly’s hand as the tears ran down her face. ‘You’re going to be fine, you and the baby. You’re going to be fine.’ She sobbed, unable to control herself. ‘Please, you have to be fine.’
She stayed with Carly, stroking her hair until the paramedics arrived and rode with her to the hospital. Dr. Long, Carly’s obstetrician, immediately took charge and Melanie waited anxiously for the diagnosis. Daniel, alerted by one of the nurses that Carly had been brought in, hurried to his daughter’s side to wait with her.
‘I’m afraid it’s Eclampsia.’ Dr. Karen Long told Melanie after the examination, her tone grave. ‘The baby’s due in two weeks but we have to operate now.’
Melanie gulped, Daniel’s arm coming round her shoulders. ‘Sure... of course... but... but I can’t sign the consent papers. My uncle Frankie’s the one to do it and he’s in D.C.’
‘Well you have to get him here fast, Carly doesn’t have much time. We can stall the surgery for 24 hours, no longer than that.’
‘I’ll call him right now,’ Melanie wiped her damp eyes, inwardly praying he will arrive on time. Eclampsia was dangerous to both mother and child. Even if the baby was saved, Carly could die. If she died...
‘She’s not going to die, honey.’ Daniel said, clearly reading her thoughts.
‘She put up with so much because of us,’ Melanie sobbed. ‘And we were...’
‘Shush...’ Daniel hugged her tightly.
‘How could she still find room to love us, especially me?’
‘Carly never questioned her love for you, she just kept loving you. And you’ve done all you can to make it up to her. You stood by her when she was hurting over Bo; you’ve been taking care of her.’
‘I don’t think I’ve done enough,’ Melanie shook her head. ‘Maybe Mum’s forgotten everything I said and did but it’s hard for me to, Dad. I keep imaging how she must have felt when Lawrence had them take me away from her arms.’
Daniel’s lips tightened, going back to the fateful evening Carly had told him the truth. In his fury, he’d accused her of not letting him have the chance of being a dad, choosing to live a life of luxury with Lawrence after “giving away” their daughter and really furious she’d told Bo before him. He’d been unkind as well, more so than Melanie, refusing to let Carly defend herself. And then blaming her for keeping Chloe’s adultery with Phillip from him and Melanie, when she had no idea the other man was Phillip.
‘We’ll be there for her even more when she wakes up,’ he assured Melanie gruffly. ‘Don’t beat yourself up, honey. Carly loves you, unconditionally. What you should do right now is call Frankie.’
‘Yeah, sure.’ Wiping her eyes yet again, she walked away.
Daniel Jonas entered the private room Carly was, staring down at her. She was hooked to monitors-she and the baby being stabilised- and she was breathing through an oxygen mask. He took her hand, holding it between his, inwardly praying for her recovery.
:::::::::::::

‘I’ll be there as soon as I can, Mel.’ Frankie’s brusque voice hiding his own anxiety.
‘I’ll be waiting. Please... hurry.’
‘I’ll charter a private plane to get there on time. Please look after her, Mel.’
‘Okay.’
Melanie hung up and then dialled Nicholas’ Paris number, informing him about their mother’s condition. Nicholas promised to come to Salem on the first available flight.
‘Melanie,’ she turned to see Abby Deveraux walking up to her. ‘Hey... I’m so sorry about Carly. Mum’s with her right now.’
Melanie’s heart hardened. As far as she was concerned, Jennifer had not being a good friend to her mother- glaringly siding with Hope. But in spite of her anger, she couldn’t take it out on Abby; the older girl looked genuinely concerned. Instead she nodded.
‘Who were you talking to just now?’
‘My brother, Nicholas. He’s coming in from Paris.’ Melanie slipped the phone back in her pocket, not noticing the look on Abby’s face at the mention of Nicholas. ‘I called my uncle to, he has to get here real quick to sign the consent papers.’
Abby shook her head. ‘If only...’
Melanie looked at her sharply. ‘If only what?’
Abby hesitated then said slowly, ‘if only things had worked out between him and Carly, if they’d gotten married... he would sign the papers right now, wouldn’t he?’
‘Well, we don’t always get what we want.’ Melanie said coldly. Last year she was married to Phillip, even though at the back of her mind Nathan Horton was the true love of her life and Carly was very happy reunited with her own true love. She remembered how they were during Victor and Vivian’s sham of a wedding, Bo clutching Carly’s hand as they walked across the room and the talk she had with him about how even closer they seemed to be. If she’d sensed it was all a lie she would’ve warned Carly. But she was no better, she’d loved Nathan yet married Phillip- she should’ve done the right thing by admitting her feelings to Nathan instead. But at least she and Carly had each other now, after the long period of unfairness and misjudgement and Carly had a part of Bo she would never have to lose to Hope.
‘Don’t you think he should know about this?’
‘No, he doesn’t.’
‘Why not? He’s the father...’
Melanie exploded, ‘so what? So fucking what? He left her standing there; he went back to the woman who tried to kill him, after pretending he loved my Mum!’
‘Melanie, quit being childish about this,’ Abby chided. ‘From what I heard, Carly was the one who gave him up.’
‘Oh... and she was supposed to wait for him to tell her the obvious, that he was still in love with Hope the whole time.’ Melanie fired back harshly. ‘My mum’s not a fool, Abby- she saw it all too well! Tell me, was she supposed to wait? Was she supposed to stay with him and keep letting him touch her but thinking about that woman the whole time? And then pretend what happened between them never did... all because it was so complicated?
Abby had to admit Melanie had a point.  She was with Carly when Bo came by the hospital months back, and she’d listened at the door at the brief but emotional conversation, wincing at the pain in Carly’s voice. She still didn’t understand it herself, how could Bo be so devoted to her, then have a sudden change of heart but still came by to see her? Was it possible he loved them both the same way but simply chose to be with the woman he’d been with longer? Jennifer was rather tight lipped about it, but the old photos Abby had found in an old album which told her a lot more about Bo and Carly. She recalled how she’d gasped at the young couple in the photos. Bo was a handsome man but on seeing his younger self in tight ripped jeans, leather jacket and longish hair, the word hot had popped in Abby’s mind. And Carly, longer hair in 90s styles and spotting elegant tops and dresses; posing with Bo. In the photos Bo had his arm or arms around her, his cheek pressed against hers, smiling down at her, kissing her. Others had them posing with the family, some with Shawn Douglas, one of Carly holding her during her christening, one of her posing with her parents  on their wedding day. But the ones with just Bo and Carly were the real ones of interest; they looked so cute and happy together and so much in love.
How could a great love like that become weak then fade away? Abby had thought, tracing their smiling faces with her fingers. It just didn’t make sense to her at all.
‘Please... just drop it, Abby.’ Melanie said, breaking into her thoughts. ‘Bo doesn’t care about Mum, ever since he got your cousin back.  None of the Bradys do either. Mum has her own family; her children, Dad and my Uncle. We don’t need the Bradys, especially Bo Brady, wherever he is.’  
Abby watched Melanie walk back to Carly’s room, at a loss of what to do. No matter what he’s done, Bo was still the father of Carly’s baby. Didn’t he have the right to know what was happening, Carly and the baby could die. What would great grandma Alice do in this situation, keep silent or tell him?
Abby decided to consult her mother about it.

:::::::::::
Melanie went back the house to put together what Carly might need. She stopped to look at the nursery, all ready for her baby brother or sister. The walls were painted a pale yellow, with expertly drawn murals and there was the crib, changing table and the rocking chair by the window. Closing the door, Melanie brushed back a tear and went to Carly’s room. First things first, she thought, regarding the unmade bed. She pulled off the sheets and then picked up a pillow, noticing something. Her heart beat fast as she picked up the two thick notebooks.
I didn’t know Mum kept diaries, she thought. Feeling a little guilty, she opened one. From the date of the first entry, she began it the night she fled Alamania.


I’m on my way home, the only home I’ve ever known.... Salem. Looking back I can’t understand why I left it in the first place. I never imagined I would leave it after arriving there back in 1990. But with what happened with my memory... first I thought I was 18 again and in love with James again next thing I knew I found out I have a son and a fiancé I’ve been in love with for 3 years... Bo. But it was too late for us and I said goodbye to him; my place was with Lawrence and Nicky. But I never forgot Bo and every day I hoped he’d moved on with his life without hating me.
Lawrence promised me the day we left; that things would be better between us, all the mistakes of the past made up for. But he lied. For years, everyday was a living nightmare... after he got ill. I was a punching bag and his personal rape victim as his paranoia and madness grew. When it did finally sink in that I’d made a mistake leaving Bo? I still don’t know. But it was too late to do anything about it, I couldn’t leave Nicky behind and Lawrence would’ve killed me before he allowed such a thing and he could kill Bo as well. Just like how he almost killed me after that one drunken night stand with D. But I never, ever imagined I would get pregnant. Bo and I tried so hard to have a baby but Dr. Alvarez had said it was near impossible after the tissue damage from Nicky’s birth.
I will never forget the day Lawrence had his lawyer take her away. My beautiful blonde baby girl. I had to promise to stay with him or he would’ve killed her in front of me... he already had his hand wrapped around her poor fragile little neck, ready to snap it...

Melanie shivered, loathing Lawrence Alamain from the bottom of her heart and unable to help herself, sat on the bed and continued reading.

I did what I had to do tonight. It was bad enough Lawrence took my baby away but to order her murder after all these years and telling me about it... I snapped. I’d taken all the beatings and violations he inflicted on me because I wouldn’t name my daughter’s father but not this, never this. It was time to free myself from the prison I walked into years before. Lawrence followed Bo’s life for years; it was like he was obsessed with him like he was obsessed with me. It took a while for me to digest the news of Hope’s sudden return from the dead five years after I was gone. But maybe fate did me a sick favour... what would Bo have done if I’d still been with him? But that’s not important anyway. I have to make sure my child is safe. I have a feeling Vivian will come after me but as long as my baby girl is safe, I can face that old witch. I’ve had nothing but a one baby picture of her. She must be such a beautiful young woman now. I hope she will understand I didn’t give her away voluntarily. She has to know the kind of man Lawrence was. He was going to kill me too... I saw the madness in his eyes when he tried to stop me from leaving. The whole time, like when I was still Katarina, I’d loved an illusion and by falling for the illusion again, I ruined my life.
God willing, this time I will get it right.

‘Oh Mum... Mum...’ Melanie sobbed quietly, her shoulders shaking; so ashamed of how childish and bratty she’d acted with Carly, long before she found out the truth. All because of a stupid accident involving spilled coffee! And she’d been beaten and raped because she wouldn’t name Daniel! Dear Lord...
Sniffling, she kept reading. Carly wrote about how she contacted an old friend and patient, a man called Omar and how he took her the rest of the way, her fears at being apprehended before she could get to Bo and ask for his help. How two thugs from Alamania tried to grab her and a mysterious man saved her but then fainted. She’d gone, over Omar’s protests, to the hospital to steal some meds.

I just got back from the hospital, it’s gone through some changes but it’s great to walk back in there, like back in the day.
I saw him! I saw Bo! God... after all these years the sight of him and the sound of his voice made my heart pound. I watched him hug a sweet looking little boy, apparently he’s Lexie and Abe’s son; he was always so paternal with Shawn D. But what a shock I got when I heard that nurse call him ‘Commissioner Brady’. My motorbike riding sailor now the top brass of Salem P.D? Even he would’ve laughed at the very idea years ago! But it changes everything; I can’t go to him now. I won’t let him risk his job for me, he’ll be accused of lack of objectivity once they find out I’m his ex fiancée. No... I’ll go to Justin instead... he’s a lawyer after all.


Bo’s gone to fetch Justin, so I can take this down while I wait. It’s strange being in Bo and Hope’s house; it used to be Jack and Jennifer’s and it was the last house I sat in before I left Salem.
Since Justin wasn't at Victor’s, I decided to go to Bo after all. From what I heard from Victor’s conversation over the phone, Bo and Hope had had a fight so she wasn't there and apparently Justin was involved in between. I’m glad it wasn't Henderson who answered the door, he would’ve recognised me.
I broke in and Bo wasted no time tackling me onto the ground, hissing in that oh so familiar biting tone, ‘you just made a big mistake.’ In the moonlight I saw the shocked look on his face when he realised who it was and I guess the shock made him forget his knee was on my back so I had to tell him to get off me.
I didn’t expect him to welcome me back with smiles and open arms and he didn’t, he was tight lipped and angry; no doubt over the fight he’d had with Hope. I still wonder what Justin has to do with it.  I didn’t waste any time telling him everything. He listened, those piercing hazel eyes of his on my face the whole time.
I saw a photo of his little girl, Ciara. A beautiful name for a beautiful little girl and for a moment I thought over what might have been....



I thought the police was finally on to me but it turned out to be Hope Brady. I’d seen a picture of her years ago and the years have favoured her. She was mad to see me lying on her bed and from the blank look on her face when I introduced myself, Bo never told her about me. Not sure how I feel about that.
I wanted to leave after she stormed out but Bo made me stay put, assuring me Hope won’t turn me in. Justin said he would do his best for me but I sensed his antagonism towards me.
I asked Bo how my little sailor man was, my Shawn Douglas. It was so funny hearing Shane D was now a father. ‘Grandpa Bo!’ I teased him and he gave me that glare, a smile tugging the corner of his mouth. It was nice to laugh for a bit, with the fear of being arrested hanging over my head. I saw a picture of a little boy. He’s very cute but he looks more like Hope than Bo. Bo’s face clouded when he told me his name was Zach but he’d died in a car accident. Poor Bo and Hope... to lose a five year old child so tragically. My heart almost broke at the pain in Bo’s voice.

:::::::::::::::
Bo’s arguing with the Interpol agents. I’m grateful he brought my journal along with him after I was arrested. I should’ve known Victor Kiriakis would report me to Interpol; he’s never forgiven me for ending our marriage. I caught a glimpse of him when I was led in here, his hair’s completely white and he looks even more forbidding. Did Hope tell him I was at her house?
Before I was arrested, I had a nightmare... I dreamed Lawrence stabbed Bo and Bo lay dead at my feet, my hands stained with his blood. I screamed and Bo rushed over to comfort me. I never could bear the idea of Bo dead... after he joined the force, I always nursed the fear he might not come home one night. I know Lawrence is dead now but that dream was so vivid. What have I done? I should’ve gone to look for Jennifer or Frankie instead. If I cost Bo to lose his position, I’ll never forgive myself. I came here to find my daughter, not destroy Bo’s life in any way.
Bo’s coming back to talk to me...

Melanie closed the journal, reaching for a Kleenex to wipe her eyes and nose. She’d been reading Carly’ inner thoughts and soon she would read about their first encounter; no doubt filled with pain. Again she felt some guilt about invading her mother’s privacy but by reading the journal, she was getting to know Carly exactly like she was supposed to from the very beginning. On the day Carly had told her the whole truth, she’d been angry and upset that a man had died because of her, refusing to listen or understand anything Carly had to say. But now... she was wiser and more remorseful. Carly had done nothing to be forgiven for. She’d suffered under Lawrence and the suffering itself had been an act of love. Lawrence knew the type of man Trent Robbins had been, no doubt about that- his way of making sure she suffered without her mother.

Burn in hell, you son of a bitch, Melanie Jonas whispered. 

LOTS OF LAUGHS AND CONFUSION IN "LUCY TALK"





Like Candace Bushnell's Sex &The City, Fiona Walker's Lucy Talk evolved from a newspaper column and is a modern epistolary novel as the story is told in the form of emails, blog entries,  Microsoft journals, notes on the fridge, answer machine messages, Lucy's disposable notes to herself, letters, postcards, posters, invitation cards, menus, newspaper cuttings,  telephone conversations and even memos! Hence, a fun book to read and the reader is immediately drawn into Lucy Gordon's  funny and rather exasperating world. I've re-read it so much that the cover's rather worn but it's always like I'm reading it for the first time.

It's immediately gathered that that the heroine Lucy Gordon is an employee at the marketing department of Widgetex Ltd, which manufactures time saving gadgets. She lives at Burr Cottage with two other girls- Jane Redven ( a driving instructor and horse enthusiast) and Bella Smith (an art teacher and a bit of a goth girl) and their neighbour , Mike Ensor (nicknamed 'Big Mike' throughout) is a vet. Several people have funny nicknames in the novel; Lucy's boss Gavin Slater is dubbed 'Slave Driver', a rival/colleague at work Dave Marks is 'Ambitious Dave', a bitchy superior Gabriella Peartree is 'Fruit Bat', Bella's boyfriend is called 'Brick' (real name Phil), Lucy's little sister's boyfriend is called Scrumpy (real name Carl) and the local riding instructor (who Jane fancies) is 'Horsy Tim'.

Lucy's family consists of Malcolm who spends most of his time in the shed taking apart machinery and putting them back, her mum Liv who loves to cook except some of her dishes are  very weird (Deep-fried artichoke hearts with vermouth and lime sauce, Bread and Butter ice cream lightly drizzled with date sauce), Violet, her alcoholic ( and I think rather senile) grandmother,  Alice, her troublesome vegetarian sister and her absentee big brother- Jeremy- who lives in New Zealand (to get away from his crazy family members, except Lucy).

For most of the story, Lucy writes to Jeremy and her absentee roommate (Bella's predecessor and Lucy' best friend) Mo who apparently joined a travelling cult... don't even get me started on that.  Lucy has a boyfriend Greg, who works as a pilot in a chartering service and it's apparent to those who really know Lucy and the readers that Greg is a dirt-bag; he takes her for granted, lies to her, cheats on her and takes advantage of her but she's too much in denial, too much in love or just plain too stupid to see it until after a long while. That's how she is for most of the novel and you feel like shaking her or screaming at her for being indecisive, obsessive and simply not seeing what's going on under her nose- aside for the fact Greg was not worthy of her, she failed to see someone she knew very well was clearly in love with her. One would wonder what the guys see in Lucy Gordon (who somewhat reminded me of a less promiscuous Ally McBeal) but she's constantly described as sweet and very beautiful. Despite those two traits, Lucy is really annoying and her second attempt of finding love with Alex ended partly because of her mishandling of the relationship and her own silliness- but in that scene where the truth was revealed to her in the worse possible way, you just  can't help but feel sorry for her and call her rival/backstabber all sorts of unsavory names.

Lucy struggles between rising up the corporate ladder at work despite obstacles like rivals and periods of stress and finding her real man and at the end of the novel when she does- all you can say is 'FINALLY, YOU SILLY FOOL!' and simply laugh at how nearly she missed her chance, congratulating the lucky man who finally won her after several pages of barely veiled hints of his love for her.

Lucy Gordon is a memorable character and one simply can't help but love her and going back to her world by picking up the book again!

Quote from book: 

It's no good. I adore him. I'm going to have to say something now. No time to send this. 

OPPOSITES ATTRACT: DOES IT REALLY WORK?

courtesy of commons.wikimedia.org




The most popular belief when it comes to romantic parings- based on the Ying and Yang principle- that two people can be the complete opposite of each other yet compliment each other and be one. This has been depicted a lot in media; best example is the sitcom Dharma & Greg about a couple who got married on their first date.

courtesy of anglerz.com
Dharma is a yoga instructor, the daughter of hippies and a liberal free spirit while Greg is a U.S attorney, the only son of a rich (and rather uptight) couple and more cautious in attitude  but at times Dharma's funny antics rub off him enough to be her sidekick but most times he was the 'straight man' of the duo. They had  different beliefs and a lot of differences in opinion and point of view but yet remain very much in love and happy with each other.
 What happened to the notion a couple has to have a lot in common for the the relationship to work out and last forever, does being totally different actually better than being the same in the real world?
Can two extroverts be a couple? They would always try to  outdo the other with talking. Can two introverts be a couple? What sort of relationship would that be, two socially awkward people living in the same house; that can't work. What about a hot tempered husband and an equally hot tempered wife- either both would be strong enough to stand up to each other during an argument or end up killing each other- it would be like having two elephants under the same roof. 
So, maybe two opposites make the better couple. A strong manly guy with a temper could be with a quiet lady who could keep him in order with soft words that calm him down and offer her advice he would take in good part rather than from someone more bossy. An extrovert wife could be a good influence on an introvert husband as her jolliness and zest for life is just what he would need enabling him to shed off some of the shyness and be more like her; or the introvert husband could be a good influence and source of calm and comfort for the extrovert wife by simply providing her with his gentle strength.  
I've seen my share of couples who are opposites and to my surprise they have wonderful long lasting relationships. I believe most people would prefer to chose a mate that aren't exactly like them because too much of the same wouldn't bring out the best out of them. A couple of opposites may not be able to change the other but instead always compliment each other- love and understanding  being the glue that keeps them together for life. 

LOVE, LEARNING TO FORGET & SHORTNESS OF LIFE IN "MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE"



It all began when a  recently divorced woman named Theresa found a moving letter -signed "Garret" and addressed to "Catherine"- literally in a bottle and went all her way to find the writer- after finding similar letters found by other people. She found Garret Blake and it turned out he was a widower still grieving his beloved wife Catherine who  passed away after an illness. However, despite Theresa's motive of finding him to satisfy her curiosity and Garret yet to let go of Catherine's memory- the two are immediately drawn to each other and spend a few days in each other's company. I was like wow... what a good thing. Garret will help her forget her bitterness and Garret immediately attracted to Theresa will pull him gradually out of his lingering grief.

Next thing, Theresa brings her son to visit and now it's the three of them in a close interaction, even better. But then came the unfortunate scene... Garret rummaged her drawer for paper in order to express his feelings for his new love on paper while she's out. But he found his letters instead and all hell broke loose as they argued about it when she got back; Garret storming out after accusing him of publishing his letter and hunting him down to fulfill some stupid fantasy. Such cruel words... and earlier he was trying to convince her and Kevin to live with him in his town in North Carolina- which she couldn't do easily because of her career which was really taking off.

This is where Theresa upset me further. You would think after finding love after a betrayal she would be more compassionate and give the man some time to cool off and do some soul searching- after all the man was clearly in love with her; finding love in the middle of his grief over Catherine. But what did she do? She ruled out the possibility of them being together because she was convinced he would never let go of Catherine... who wanted to always live in the shadow of a dead woman? Come on Theresa, how often does love come by after a terrible disappointment? Sure the guy is yet to fully bury the past but wanting her and her child to live with him, isn't that a start? No... she decided to end their relationship- before she got hurt and leaves, refusing to listen to Garret who tried to prevent her from leaving. Unfair and rather hasty on her part, it's not only her heart at stake here!

In the middle of his misery Garret 'sees' Catherine- whether in a dream or her ghost I'm not sure- who informs him she had guided his message to Theresa for her to find, to motivate her to search for him... she knew he would fall in love with Theresa once he saw her, which is exactly what happened! It all made sense to Garret at long last and he realised it was now time to move forward fully- leaving the past behind for good.

Tragic twist...

It was Theresa's turn to grieve as she received devastating news... Garret had gone sailing during a storm (ironically he'd gone to drop one more message to Catherine, probably to officially say goodbye to her) and drowned.

As if Theresa's heartbreak couldn't get worse, she got a message from Garrett a week after his funeral- her own 'message in a bottle' informing her of his decision to put the past behind him and commit himself to her and her son and his intention of leaving one final message to Catherine... the cruel irony he died after saying goodbye to her!

By the time I was done with this very moving  book, my hanky was soaked right through and my eyes aching and wet with my tears. It was later adapted to a movie starring Robin Wright Penn and Kevin Costner; but luckily for me, I got to read the novel first.

The whole time I kept thinking... why, just why? I'm not passing blame on Theresa or Garret but I felt the tragedy could have been avoided... Theresa was quick to write off the possibility of them having a future together- because of the shadow of a dead woman. Sometimes there is just one great love for a person but Garret found room in his heart for her, he was able to love her in the middle of mourning and she him in the middle of being once bitten; twice shy, Love is patient and compassionate, Time was kind and a great healer but she broke off things much too early.

Garret should've realised life was for the living... he couldn't expect a proper future with his new love if he was reluctant to let got of his late first love. I was happy he was able to love after Catherine; I just wish he was able to let go of the past before meeting Theresa at all. But it was not to be after all and Theresa is left with the memory of him and their brief time together before cruel fate took him away from her.

This novel clearly showed one is capable of falling in love after heartbreak but it also depicted the importance of learning to forget and how unpredictable life could be. It's the unpredictability of life that motivates one to take the plunge of changing one's life and outlook. If one kept the past and refused to LET GO of it, it leads to consequences one does not expect at all.

Message In A Bottle is  a heartrending story and major lessons derived from it.

Quote from book: 

“If you like her, if she makes you happy, and if you feel like you know her...then don't let her go.” 

THE OSU CASTE SYSTEM IN "NO LONGER AT EASE"




Every year on the first week of May, the International Book Fair is held at the University of Lagos’ multi-purpose hall. After buying a few books; I attended the writer’s forum. There were several writers, lecturers and a few journalists present and the topic discussed after “Social Responsibility & Activism” was about Chinua Achebe’s second book, No Longer at Ease. This novel was published two years after Things Fall Apart and it depicted pre-independence life in Lagos in the fifties; the age of colonialism and corruption. But what was talked about at the forum was “Chinua Achebe & the Osu Caste System in No Longer at Ease”. Professor Achebe described what an Osu was in his first novel, Things Fall Apart.

“He was a person dedicated to a god, a thing set apart- a taboo forever, and his children after him. He could neither marry nor be married by the free born. He was in fact an outcast, living in a special area of the village, close to the Great Shrine.” – Things Fall Apart, chapter 18, pgs 113-114; African Writers’ Series, Heinemann.
No Longer At Ease is set many years after the missionaries and the British Government first arrived in Nigeria; bringing with it Western Education, Christianity and Colonialism. The protagonist is Okonkwo’s grandson, Obi- the son of Okonkwo’s first son Nwoye who was given the name Isaac after he embraced Christianity and the ‘white man’s book’- as education was called back then. Obi is the first son of Umoufia to win a scholarship to study in England so a lot of hopes and aspirations are on him. Obi meets a lovely girl at a dance, Clara Okeke and they fall in love. However, Clara drops a bombshell one night, she is an Osu and therefore can’t marry Obi or rather, Obi can’t marry her. Obi is taken aback but doesn’t care about that and assures her he will handle his family and they’ll get married. The first person he tells about this was a friend who was also from Umoufia, Joseph. Joseph hits the roof when Obi said he was still going to marry Clara despite her ‘status’.
What was discussed at the forum was why Professor Achebe wrote about this; if he was trying to state his own stand about the “outcasts” or to start a conversation about the whole Osu stigmatisation. I read this book several years ago and I was filled with contempt for this Osu thing; I probably would’ve been even if I was an Igbo and not a Yoruba woman. Such beliefs and practises are so archaic and you would think that it would’ve been discarded ages ago, after the advent of Christianity and western education!
Joseph’s words to Obi after his first reaction:

“You know book, but this is no matter for book. Do you know what an Osu is? But how can you know?”- No Longer At Ease, chapter 7, pg 64; African Writers’ Series, Heinemann.
With those words, he was trying to say Obi’s ‘mission-house’ upbringing (Obi’s parents were staunch and educated Christians) and European education had made him a stranger in his own country. Obi was ignorant to the traditional customs, according to Joseph. The book also informed and reminded the reader that when a woman marries a man, she is married to the entire family, hence her family tree and reputation is very important. Joseph says to Obi:
“Look at me, Obi. What you are going to do concerns not only yourself and future generations. If one finger brings oil, it soils the other. In future, when we are all civilized, anybody may marry anybody. But that time has not come. We of this generation are only pioneers.”
Obi’s reply, “What is a pioneer? Someone who shows the way. That is what I am doing. Anyway, it is too late to change now.”
“It is not. What is an engagement ring? Our fathers did not marry with rings.” - No Longer At Ease, chapter 7, pgs 67-68; African Writers’ Series, Heinemann. Two different men are seen here. Obi is the modern, liberal man, open minded and a pioneer of change; doing away with the outdated beliefs. But Joseph is the typical Igbo man, stuck in the past and its outdated norms.
Obi however stood firm in his decision to marry Clara, despite her own reservations; even buying her an engagement ring, along with a Bible; feeling sure at least his parents would side with him. Mrs. Hannah was a devout Christian and his father was a retired catechist. Personally, I thought Mr. Isaac (Nwoye) would be his son’s ally, when I read it the first time. In Things Fall Apart, Nwoye began questioning his clan’s customs and traditions after his foster brother; Ikemefuna was killed, as ‘pronounced’ by The Oracle of the Hills and the Caves. Even though he was warned not to bear a hand in his death, Okonkwo was the one who delivered the fatal blow on the boy, with his machete; not wanting- as always- to be thought weak. That was the final nail on Nwoye’s disillusionment. He had begun having doubts about their beliefs long before, when he heard the sound of a baby crying in the thick forest. At that time, twins were regarded as evil so they were thrown into the Evil Forest to die there. Something had snapped within him and did again the night Ikemefuna died.
So when the missionaries arrived many years later, Nwoye joined the converts and became Isaac. Okonkwo cursed him for it and because Isaac never forgave Okonkwo for killing Ikemefuna, he didn’t return home for Okonkwo's burial; even though his teacher Mr. Braddeley urged him to go.
In No Longer At Ease, Isaac Okonkwo is an old man; retired from the church and we see him as a man who has done away with several ‘heathen’ customs. He wouldn’t allow invocations to be said over the breaking of kola, he forbade folk-stories as “stories like that are not for the people of the church.”
So I was full of confidence Isaac would side with Obi. Joseph played the telltale by informing the President of the Umoufia Progressive Union and word spread round about Obi’s Osu fiancée. The President was really patronizing, “You know book. But book stands by itself and experience stands by itself. So I am not afraid to talk to you.”
Obi was of course very angry when Clara and her ‘doubtful ancestry’ was brought up during the Union’s meeting and he stormed out; he and Clara refusing to speak to Joseph from then on.
With everyone’s objections towards Clara, the readers wait with bated breath for Obi’s parents’ stance. Joseph informed Isaac in a letter about Obi and Clara. Isaac tells his son he can’t marry ‘that girl.’ Obi is shocked at his father; he thought he knew him and for heaven’s sake, the man was a retired catechist! He argued:
“I don’t think it matters. We are Christians.”
Isaac after all shed off all the practices he regarded as ‘heathen.’ Wasn’t this objection towards Clara one too?
But Isaac is disappointingly resolute. “We are Christians, but that is no reason to marry an Osu.”
Obi: “The Bible says that in Christ there are no bond or free.”
Isaac: “My son, I understand what you say. But this thing is deeper then you think.”
Obi: “What is this thing? Our fathers in their darkness and ignorance called an innocent man an Osu, a thing given to idols and thereafter he became an outcast, and his children, and his children’s children forever. But have we not seen the light of the Gospel?” - No Longer At Ease, chapter 14, pgs 120-121; African Writers’ Series, Heinemann.
Good argument from Obi, one would say and as a man of the church, such a speech would strike a chord in Isaac; who went out of his way to become a Christian, shedding all the ‘heathen practices’, motivated by what happened to Ikemefuna. But no, Isaac still didn’t agree.
“Naaman, captain of the host of Syria, was a great man and honourable, he was also a mighty man of valour, but he was a leper. Osu is like leprosy in the minds of our people. I beg of you my son, not to bring the mark of shame and of leprosy into our family. If you do, your children and your children’s children unto the third and fourth generations will curse your memory.” No Longer At Ease, chapter 14, pg 121; African Writers’ Series, Heinemann.
Even with his education and religion, Isaac was still an Igbo man at heart, unable to shed off that particular archaic belief and actually comparing Clara with a biblical figure. Did he conveniently forget that Naaman was cured of the leprosy by God? And what’s the point of getting baptized and call yourself a Christian when you say “this thing is deeper than you think”?
Hannah, Obi’s dying mother added her own, “If you want to marry this girl, you must wait until I’m no more. If God hears my prayers, you will not wait long. But if you do the thing while I’m alive, you will have my blood on your head, because I shall kill myself.” No Longer At Ease, chapter 14, pg 123; African Writers’ Series, Heinemann. Yet this was the same woman who told her children not to accept “heathen food” and who cut off the head of a ‘sacred’ goat that wandered into her kitchen and ate up the yam she was preparing to cook- and received angry threats and for a while ostracised.
What therefore was Professor Achebe trying to tell the readers? That despite Christianity and Western Education, the Igbo still retain the ‘traditional/cultural mentality’ about certain things? Or that cultural beliefs are more significant than the ‘white man’s’ teaching; Isaac pointed out to Obi that the matter was deeper than he thought, even though he is a staunch Christian. Apparently, Isaac is an Igbo man first.
It can’t be said that Western Education and Religion didn’t civilize Africa, because it did. But In No Longer At Ease, it can be seen that culture has more priority than religion and despite it being many years since the missionaries’ first arrival; there are some beliefs that can’t or refused to be cast aside. How strange it is that in the novel, those who are fortunate enough to get an education and have Christian names lord over those who don’t (except Obi) yet in the eyes of the rest of the world; reading about this attitude, they are hypocrites who may be educated yet are still so backward in their thinking.

THE REAL MESSAGE BEHIND OLIVER TWIST






My introduction to Charles Dickens' second book (by the way the first one is The Pickwick Papers, a book I'm yet to read) was back in 1987. First, via an animated musical adaptation, I very dimly remember a simplified edition I borrowed from a cousin. My first take on the book was the moving story of a boy born in a workhouse and brutalised from the moment he could walk and talk; overworked, almost starved to death and had the misfortune of falling into a gang of thieves but miraculously rescued first by Mr. Brownlow and then by Rose and Mrs. Maylie. The whole time I couldn't stop feeling so bad for poor Oliver and hating those who hurt him so much; Mr. Bumble, that odious creature Noah Claypole, Fagin, Bill Sikes and his crazy half-brother, Monks.
Junior Secondary School, I found the complete edition in the school library and more things were revealed; Rose Maylie was Oliver's aunt- sister of Oliver's mother Agnes who had had a relationship with Monk's father, Edwin Leeford; who unfortunately was still married, hence the cause of the chain of events. Monks wanted to ruin Oliver as much as possible and take hold of the money allocated to him. And it turned out Oliver wasn't only Monks and his mother's intended victim, their hatred for Agnes Fleming- Oliver's mother- was so great that Rose, her younger sister, was to be ruined as well but divine intervention in the shape of Mrs Maylie prevented it and Oliver was taken under their wing, to Monks' great fury and then Mr Brownlow- after getting valuable information from Bill Sikes' mistress- Nancy, pierced the pieces together. In the end, Rose got married and Oliver lived happily and free with Mr. Brownlow.

There have been many adaptations of this story but the only one that stayed true to the book was the 1985 TV series starring Ben Rodska as Oliver Twist and Lysette Anthony as Rose Maylie (This actress played Florence Dombey in an adaptation of one of Dickens' other books- Dombey and Son).
But I'm not talking about the adaptations here- but the book. For years I've reread this book without stopping to figure out the reason why Dickens wrote it to begin with. Recently, I read it again after finishing Dombey and Son and I thought more about the main character, Oliver. These days, well in my country, anytime anyone mentions the name 'Oliver Twist', there's the talk about the memorable scene where he walked up to the cook, held up his bowl and asked for more and the name's synonymous to anyone who is not satisfied. If they read the book thoroughly, they would discover that he was chosen to ask for more after the boys drew lots after suffering near starvation... who would be satisfied with just one spoon of gruel- or whatever the hell the children were given as food?
But I'm still digressing... what is the message behind Oliver Twist?
For starters, I noticed something about Oliver that I didn't ponder much on at first- despite everything he went through in that child abuser's (Mrs. Mann) place, in the workhouse and in Mr. Sowerberry's, those experiences did not harden him. He was hurt emotionally and physically but not exactly broken to the extent he would become cold, and hard and turn to crime; he remained innocent and resistant to pressure to become a criminal from Fagin. When Bill Sikes and Nancy took him back to Fagin's house, all he cared about was Mr. Brownlow and Mrs. Bedwin's opinion of him, he begged Bill Sikes- even though that bastard had a gun to his head- not to make him an accomplice to the robbery about to be committed in the Maylies' house; he preferred death to vice. The only time when he lost control was when Noah Claypole insulted his late mother, causing Oliver to punch him out defending his late mother's honour, rather than his own. Other than that, no thoughts of revenge against his oppressors, only the need for kindness and a happier life. And Oliver hoped his friend Dick would be rescued too and nursed back to health but after returning to the Workhouse to end the mystery behind his birth, he is given sad news; Dick had died.

Charles Dickens no doubt was trying to show that vice is caused by the environment a person finds himself in. Born in poverty and no other prospects- the person no doubt would turn to stealing just to be able to eat. Dodger and Charley Bates advised Oliver to allow himself to be trained by Fagin, but Oliver refused. Apparently, Dodger and Bates were born in the same circumstances and their circumstances made them the way they were. But Oliver wasn't like that at all and we don't see him struggle with doing the right thing or giving in to crime, committing a crime does NOT come to him at all. Maybe the message here is that being good or bad is inborn; it may not always be caused by circumstances.
However, look at another character, Nancy. Nancy was influenced by her environment and the people in it, Fagin especially. She was trained by Fagin to be a thief when she was a child, as a young woman she's a prostitute and living with Bill Sikes- a robber and a sociopath. Is Nancy evil? Okay, unlike Oliver she succumbed to crime at an early age but I wouldn't call her evil. She's rough in speech but from the start is protective of Oliver even after she helps Fagin abduct him (Sikes made her); she stops Fagin from beating him and stands up to Bill, telling him to keep the dog away from Oliver. Oliver's gentle face is usually regarded with pity or scorn, Nancy was clearly moved by Oliver's innocence and didn't want it corrupted by Fagin. There's a scene in the book where she drunkenly tells Fagin that she can't bear to look at Oliver's face, she does not speak with repulsion, Oliver is clearly someone she wishes she was and it further reminds her what she was. This led her to see Rose and tell her what she had overhead between Fagin and Monks and Fagin; a heroic act that cost her her life. Nancy had a chance to have a new life but she turned it down, feeling she was so deep in crime already that she was beyond redemption... which wasn't true.

Dickens talked a lot about the workhouse and how the paupers there are treated, they are made to work and fed very little- begging on the street is punishable by imprisonment. He was talking, or rather condemning Britain's Poor Law of the time. In the book, Mr Bumble scathingly says Oliver and the other paupers were ungrateful and it was made to look as if the paupers were granted a huge favour. In the 1985 adaptation, Harry Maylie commented, 'May God forgive parliament for that wretched Poor Law'. Just by asking for more, Oliver was flogged and locked away, and five pounds offered to anyone who would make him an apprentice. No doubt, that was what went on during the era of the Poor Law, the funds allocated to the upkeep were misappropriated, the conditions so inhumane and, as described in the book, many of the workhouse inmates died.
And there was the issue of the stigma of illegitimate children. Oliver was bitterly described by Monks as 'their (Edwin and Agnes) bastard child'. Ironic, considering Monks is an evil man who actually paid Fagin to make Oliver a thief to prevent him from inheriting his share of their father's money. For a long time, Rose thought she was illegitimate (she was very young when Agnes and their father died), thanks to a lie by Monk's mother to the people who took Rose in, which caused them to treat her very unkindly. Mrs. Maylie didn't hold it against her, nor did Harry Maylie, who was in love with her. But Mrs Maylie was afraid of how Rose would be treated by society if Harry married her as he was planning on going into politics. Harry insisted he didn't care about society's opinion but Mrs. Maylie's fear was also about him- he could turn on Rose and regret marrying her if society continued to sneer at his wife; a fear unfounded because Harry's love for Rose was firm. Rose in turn didn't want to be the cause of Harry's reputation being ruined- although she found out she was legit, there was still the matter of her sister Agnes' affair with a married man (she of course did not know he was married until much later when she was carrying Oliver)- so Harry willingly turns his back on city life and politics and becomes a priest in the country and he and Rose are married at last. Children are not responsible for their parents' sins and such not be treated like they are, another message from Dickens.
There is a lot to learn from Oliver Twist and more about the character that meets the casual eye. I no longer see it as a rags-to-riches story, more like an example of social criticism. It's a must-read for the uninitiated.

Quote from the book: 

Let the tears which fell, and the broken words which were exchanged in the long close embrace between the orphans, be sacred. A father, sister, and mother, were gained, and lost, in that one moment. Joy and grief were mingled in the cup; but there were no bitter tears: for even grief arose so softened, and clothed in such sweet and tender recollections, that it became a solemn pleasure, and lost all character of pain.

THE WOMEN IN 'LITTLE WOMEN'



Little Women is my second favourite book.  My first impression of the main character- Jo March (I watched the 1970 adaptation before ever reading the book- at the time I didn't know it was a book) wasn't a good one. I liked the fact she was a bookworm and inspiring writer like me but her somewhat unladylike brash personality and tomboyishness- along with her initial resentment towards her brother-in-law after he revealed his feelings for her older sister Meg, she seemed like a childish clod hence she irritated me. But I got to know her better after reading the book much later on and her determination to write good stories but at the same time very anxious to provide for her family and have financial independence. I admired her, I partly related to her and she motivated me. I also saw her struggles to control her temper and be more patient, finding herself and then accepting her destiny to be Professor Bhaer's wife and run a school for boys with him; instead of the independent life of a writer she'd long envisioned.

There's Meg, the firstborn and beauty of the family, the mother hen of the group, very dutiful yet longing for 'the better times' and finally realizing love was far more precious than excessive wealth; her rich friend Sally Moffat ended up envying her for her happy home, devoted husband and beautiful twins. Amy, the youngest, budding artist and initially a strong-willed, rather self-centred and selfish spoiled brat. I'll never forget the chapter where she burnt Jo's manuscript during a quarrel between them... it's a wonder she was not flogged! But later on; to my amazement and delight, she gained more maturity than I thought possible.
And there was sweet, shy Beth; the third daughter and Jo's pet- who did so much and asked for so little and the chapter 'In The Valley Of The Shadow'; Miss Alcott wrote in great detail of her death; how 'the tide went easily'; a chapter that still brings tears to my eyes whenever I read it.  Beth's death was such a huge loss and it broke my heart.
It's a lovely and classic coming-of-age story told along the lines of John Bunyan's The Pilgrim's Progress, showing how Meg, Jo, Beth and Amy went through several stages and encountered different challenges, lessons and experiences as they moved from girls to women. What I liked especially about this book was how despite their poverty and having to work hard half the time, was how they were able to create their fun; led by Jo, they staged plays and formed their version of 'The Pickwick Club' and formed their own 'post office'- their rich but lonely neighbour Laurie Laurence (who fell in love with Jo but after her wise rejection, fell in love and married Amy) joining in and playing 'brother' to them, gaining his maturity along the way, which was good as he needed it- he did not gain just from the girls but also from their wise and loving mother, Mrs March who kept the family together as best as she could while Mr March was away at the Civil War and gave her daughters and Laurie precious pieces of wisdom. At the end of the book, she and her husband saw the fruit of their labor; Meg, Jo and Amy being a huge credit to them. As for Laurie, he too had to learn some sharp lessons, including how two people who were TOO much alike like he and Jo wouldn't make a good marriage, hence his better yet unlikely pairing with the matured Amy.
Little Women has two sequels, Little Men and Jo's Boys, also good reads. But Little Women, to me, is the best of the series- reading it makes the reader feel like a silent observer of the March girls' lives as they follow each stage of their 'coming of age'.

Quote from the book:

"My child, the troubles and temptations of your life are beginning, and may be many; but you can overcome and outlive them all if you learn to feel the strength and tenderness of your Heavenly Father as you do that of your earthly one. The more you love and trust Him, the nearer you will feel to Him, and the less you will depend on human power and wisdom. His love and care never tire or change, can be taken from you, but may become the source of lifelong peace, happiness, and strength. Believe this heartily, and go to God with all your little cares, and hopes, and sins, and sorrows, as freely and confidingly as you come to your mother.”

Tu O Nadie: The fifth version

Did you know that the beloved 1985 telenovela " Tu No Nadie" (No One But You)   has a 5th version? I recently discovered this by ...

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