CARBO FAN FICTION-Déjà Vu CHAPTER 23

Bo stayed by the window, waiting for Clarice to come in. It’s been almost two hours since he left her at the Ball Court, at her request. What he had to tell her had made her break down in tears and it had taken ages for him to console her. She was probably strolling around, trying to recover from what she learned about herself.

Hank appeared at his shoulder. ‘It’s going to be okay, Bo. She just needs enough time to process everything.’

‘I know. But I’m really scared.’ Bo replied, accepting the chilled fruit juice Soledad served him. ‘She might decide she doesn’t want to be with me after all.’

‘That’s not the way to talk,’ Soledad gently admonished, something she wouldn’t have done years ago. ‘She had no idea you were a part of her past when she fell in love with you again. You two are meant for each other... you must believe in her love for you.’

Bo sighed, turning back to the window; wondering what his princess was thinking about right about that moment, willing for her to come in and talk things out with him. If it resorted to begging, he will. For the first time since his divorce, he went over his marriage with Hope. He had loved her to distraction; had shared three children, happiness and sorrow with her. And in the end, he was no longer worthy to be her husband in her eyes. Looking back, it was as though her love for him was conditional, put one foot down and he had to work hard at winning her back. Carly never made him feel that way. True, there were times she had trouble confiding in him, which made him feel there was a part of her he couldn’t reach. But when she did open up, he realised how wrong he was. Carly, along with Frankie, didn’t have the best of childhoods, despite living a privileged life in their vast family estate. Their parents were almost nonexistent in their lives; hence Carly and Frankie turned to each other for comfort. And after running away from boarding school and later getting tricked by Lawrence, Carly got so used to being her own counsel, looking after herself and walking alone. How many talks did they have about allowing him to share her burdens and letting him protect her, assuring her it was not a sign of weakness on her part? Her stubborn independence was one of the reasons why he loved her. Bo remembered the feeling of despair and sad resignation the day they said goodbye. So far, the only thing Clarice remembered was that they were in love many years ago. He cringed at the stricken look on her face when he told her she later left him and why.  And after so many years apart, falling in love with her all over again, he couldn’t lose her a second time.

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He set out for the Ball Court to look for her. She was standing at the very centre, staring up at El Castillo; as though the great ancient pyramid would give her more answers. Bo stared at her from afar. He couldn’t see her expression from where he stood but her stance was forlorn and his heart went out to her. He can understand if she was angry and confused but will she allow him to help her, or rage and storm at him before breaking up with him?

Clarice suddenly turned and saw him. When she didn’t come to him, Bo walked towards her, eyes only on her face, which was impassive. Before he could speak, she turned away from him.

‘Princess, I know this is really hard for you. But you have to understand that we all kept this from you for your own protection. We didn’t know what else to do. I had to keep you safe.’

No answer.

‘I never forgot you.’ Bo continued. ‘I moved on with my life but I always hoped you were happy wherever you were. When I found out what really happened to you after you came back, it almost killed me. I couldn’t let you go on living as Clarice Parker, that’s why Abe, Roman and I made sure we kept you in Salem, to help you get your memory back.’

‘It’s all so stupid.’ Clarice said at last in a low voice, not looking at him. ‘I have memories of a family yet I don’t remember them. For so long it never occurred to me why that was. And until I came to Salem, I never questioned myself. Now it all makes sense, why I’ve been so disconnected, the flashes of déjà vu and how I was able to help that woman who was mugged, why I knew what to do.’ She held up her clenched hands. ‘I was once a doctor. A doctor who healed people. But for years, I’ve... I’ve been carrying a gun, taking lives...’ her voice shook.

‘You never took innocent lives. You’re in law enforcement; it’s either the enemy or you. Carly, don’t do this to yourself, please.’ He slipped his arms round her but to his distress, she shook them off.

‘Please don’t, I can’t bear you to touch me right now. And don’t call me Carly.’  

Bo’s heart sank further. She was changing towards him already.

‘Princess, whatever you choose to call yourself, I love you. That’s not a lie. I fell in love with you a long time ago. Right here, I asked you to marry me after a long time of denying what I felt; all those times I pushed you away. And then fate brought you back into my life, at that particular time my life was crumbling. I fell all over again and I don’t ever want to lose you. Not many couples torn apart have a second chance like we do. Being with you these passed months, it’s been heaven... our definition of heaven. I want to help you, in every way I can. So before you decide we...’ his voice shook a bit, ‘we end things... just remember, I love you very much.’

He wanted to reach out to touch her arm but stopped himself before sadly walking away.

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 ‘Honey, she’s angry and confused right now, it doesn’t mean she’s going to break up with you.’ Caroline tried reassuring her son, whose face was wearing a look of devastation.

‘And you’re sure as hell not going to let her go without a fight either.’ Roman said firmly. ‘Quit worrying. She’ll come around.’

Bo stared at his mother and brother’s earnest faces on Hank’s computer screen, willing them to be right. ‘All of a sudden, it was just like the night years ago when we all found out she was alive; she didn’t recognise us, or me and pushed me away. Do you have any idea how it felt, the woman I love having no memory of our time together and Larry gloating about it? She was his Katerina and not my Carly. And before I knew it, I lost her.’

‘And you got her back. And something far more powerful than anything Lawrence and Vivian did to her made you both fall in love again,’ Roman replied. ‘Now more than ever I believe something really powerful joined you guys that day at El Castillo, when you made your vows to each other. No matter what, you two aren’t going to be apart again. You just make sure you do your part.’ Roman urged.

Bo thanked them both but still looked glum after they signed off.

‘I really hope things go right, Bo’s been so happy with her since they started dating.’

‘I know Mum. And Carly needs to remember more than she does right now so we’ll all have to do our part when they come home. We’ll talk to her if Bo asks us to.’

Caroline nodded, anxious on her younger son’s behalf. Privately she had thought Bo was on the rebound when she first found out they were dating but seeing him with Carly, looking happy and in love like they were when they were younger changed her mind. And Carly’s sufferings at Lawrence’s hands made Caroline feel protective towards her. Roman had told her what Nicholas told them, her hatred for Lawrence Alamain further heightened;  not only for almost killing Carly but for making her son believe she abandoned him and then died. The man was an animal and Carly was thankfully far away from him. All that remained was for her to get the rest of her memory back, with the family’s help, especially Bo’s.

Don’t turn away from him Carly, she said silently. You need each other, far more than you realise right now.

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Bo jerked awake when he felt a hand touch his face. Opening his eyes, he saw Clarice sitting on the bed, looking at him solemnly. ‘Hey...’ he sat up. ‘Are you okay?’

‘I’m fine.’ She nodded. ‘Confused, but fine. I needed time to think.’

‘That’s okay.’ Bo replied, wondering if they were okay. When she didn’t come back, he’d fallen asleep waiting up for her. ‘Are you still mad at me?’

‘No.’ she said softly ‘Not anymore. And after going over things, over and over... I reached the same conclusion. If I was fool enough to walk away from you years ago and I still can’t believe I did such a thing...’

‘It wasn’t  something you would’ve done if Vivian hadn’t done what she did to you.’ Bo interrupted.

Clarice shook her head. ‘Whatever the circumstances. I hurt you. And yet, even after everything, here we are. There are a lot of things I still don’t remember. But what I do know is I would be a fool ten times over if I gave up the man who loves me as much as I love him.’ A tear rolled down her cheek, her voice slightly trembling as she pressed her lips against his, frantically kissing him. Bo, so thankful and relieved, returned her kiss hungrily and furiously, pulling her hard against him; their mouth fused in heated passion. ‘I was afraid you were going to leave me,’ he whispered, still holding her, his face against her neck.  

‘Never, never again.’ She whispered back, stroking his hair. ‘I need you...more than ever. I’m so sorry I pushed you away like that.’

‘You were upset, it’s understandable.’ Bo raised his head, wiping the tears off her cheeks with his fingers. ‘Listen, it’s going to be okay. I’m here for you, so is the family. And Marlena promised to do all she can for you.’

Clarice hesitated, struggling to remember who he was referring to but failed. ‘Who’s Marlena?’ she asked.

‘She’s Roman’s ex wife. She’s a psychiatrist and you two were great friends. She was the one who suggested we try and let you remember gradually. Don’t worry, whatever she has in mind to help you; I’ll be with you to hold your hand, I promise.’

‘Knowing that makes me feel less scared. I love you so much.’

Bo held her face, loving her so much that he couldn’t express it in words. He kissed her again, hands lifting her T shirt by the hem over her head and lowered her onto the bed. For the rest of the night, there was no talking as they made passionate love, reaffirming their love for each other.