WHY THE GENDER BIAS IN ADULTERY?

  

Somehow or the other, one half of a couple strays and has an affair. When caught, the usual words of defence are "It didn't mean anything." Two results, either the wounded party either ends the marriage due to breach of trust or all if forgiven (usually with a certain amount of difficulty and it's more about forgiving than actually forgetting because during a likely future argument, it's bound to be used to rub the cheater's face ) or filing for a divorce. 

In this country when a man gets caught having an affair, there would be a buzz but he wouldn't exactly be condemned, oh no. The woman would turn a blind eye because she doesn't want to start over or a family meeting will be held... where she would be persuaded and advised to give her husband another chance. After all, men are men and the children must not suffer from a broken home. Then how come a woman is caught cheating, she is condemned and called everything from a harlot to a slut? Why is she more of the sinner, more than the men? Adultery is Adultery and no matter the gender; the person has done a bad thing. 

I’m not going to go into the reasons why there are cheating husbands and cheating wives, it’s the way society handles it that bothers me. Society is more judgemental towards the woman than the guy, like it’s the husband’s privilege to have a mistress but more than ready to stone the woman with insults. Like I said earlier, the guys always get away with what they do, even after they get caught. In most cases, after the mistress winds up pregnant, the family intervenes and the wronged woman is presented with her ‘junior wife. In other cases, if a guy happens to bang someone else’s wife, the wife protects him rather than tell on him because for sure her husband will get a real beating from the man he made a cuckold and it’s more about preventing her children from being fatherless than actual loyalty from him. It’s not like he deserves it anyway.

But a cheating wife is made a pariah. She’s a prostitute, a harlot and a slut. She’s prosecuted by the family and sent packing and for a very long time, she’s publicly gossiped about, more than a cheating husband. She is not protected nor shown any loyalty, she would probably be cursed.

Most countries are male dominated, like Nigeria. When it comes to something like adultery, the men are well protected because... well, because they are men after all. Women are not because they are the second class gender, they are expected to be the epitome of virtue and patience and being otherwise reduces them to be lower than the dust. A cheating husband should get as much judgement like a cheating wife would and his act not to be taken lightly and he should not be allowed to get away with it. If society would condemn a cheating wife, then the cheating husband should be treated that way. While cheating wives are called names like 'tramp', 'slut' or 'ashewo', what are the cheating husbands usually called... 'dogs'? Ironically, it sounds more like a compliment than an actual insult.

Seriously, am I the only one who thinks than when it comes to marital cheating, the guy gets off lightly?